Page 7 of Desiring Destiny
“Okay, that’s enough family time for now,” I say, trying to move this along. Destiny is being a champion but I know she’s exhausted.
“Not until I’ve officially met the girl,” Grams announces. She shuffles forward and holds out her hand. Destiny gasps softly and I swear I can feel her tender heart cracking ever so much. She rests her hand in my grandma’s, who simply holds it instead of shaking it. The two share a moment I’m not sure I fully understand, and then my grandma throws her arms around Destiny and pulls her in for one of her famous hugs. “You’re going to be okay, honey. This, too, shall pass.”
My grandma eventually lets go of Destiny, returning her to my care.
“I’ll meet you three at the lodge. Lunch and hot cocoa are on me.” I wave them off and thankfully, they get the hint. Turning back to Destiny, I wrap my arm around her shoulders and tuck her into my side once more. “Sorry about that, angel,” I murmur. “I know they can be… a lot.”
“They’re lovely,” she whispers. “I’m sorry I’m not better company right now. I’m just… I’m tired.”
"You don't need an excuse to feel the way you're feeling, Destiny. Life is a lot right now and you're doing what you can with the resources you have. I get it." We come to a stop in front of her door, and like yesterday, I lean down and brush the lightest kiss on her cheek. "Thank you for being your incredible self today. I'm proud of the work you've done." I hope she knows I don't just mean the time she spent skiing. She's done a lot of work today on herself and her grief. That shit's heavy.
“I’m still not sure why you like me, but… I’ll admit, it’s kind of nice.” Her cheeks turn bright red and I can’t resist the urge to kiss them again.
“Nice? Man, I reallydoneed to up my game,” I tease. “Go get some rest, angel. I’ll check on you in a few hours okay?”
She nods and gives me one last hug before stepping inside her cabin. I stand outside, wiping a hand down my face and mentally preparing for the women waiting for me in the lodge. I’ll do my best to calm them down, but I’m not sure how well that will work. I’m hoping I can convince them to leave and come back next week, but I’d say the chances are slim to none.
Lord, help me.
4
DESTINY
Ishut the door to my cabin and lean against the cool wood, catching my breath from all the excitement. Without having to look, I know Griffin is still standing outside. I can feel his presence, as crazy as that sounds.
When I hear Griffin’s steady footsteps retreating back toward the lodge, I finally let out the sob caught in my throat. All I’ve done today is cry, but the tears haven’t run out yet. I slide down the door, collapsing into a pile on the floor.
I should get up and turn on the electric fireplace, take a shower, crawl into bed, or hell, even just take my coat and snow pants off. Instead of doing any of those things, however, I curl up into the fetal position and let the darkness surround me.
Griffin’s grandma… Sheknew. She somehow peered right into my soul and saw my raw, bleeding, lonely heart. I didn’t even catch her name before she threw her arms around me and comforted me. My grandma would have done the same thing. The moment was sweet and tender and entirely too much, all at the same time.
And then there’s Griffin…
I take a deep breath and roll over onto my back, still too weak to move from my position on the floor. For the second day in a row, Griffin has surprised me with his kindness and patience. Not only that, but he's held my hand, hugged me, and even kissed my cheeks when dropping me off at my cabin.
The women in his family seem to think we're on the fast track to getting married, which would be amusing if I didn't have such strong feelings toward Griffin. I'm still in shock that he wanted to hang out with me on his day off, so yeah, it's going to take some time to believe he wants me in his life as a permanent figure.
Grandma Maddy would have adored Griffin and the way he looks after me. That thought makes my heart ache in a bittersweet kind of way.
“I miss you so much,” I whisper to the ghost of my grandmother. “Every single day. You taught me so much, but I never learned how to live without you. I thought we had more time. I thought… Why didn’t you tell anyone about the diagnosis?”
I close my eyes, letting more tears fall freely down my face.What am I even doing here? Taking skiing lessons just so I can play it safe and avoid going on a real adventure?I came to the mountains to face my fears and do something crazy like my grandma always wanted. So far, the scariest thing I've done on this trip is accept private lessons from Griffin.
Just then, his words from earlier echo in my head.
You know what you need to do, you just need the confidence to do it.
He was talking about the tiny practice hill I went down today, but now I know I need something bigger. Something to prove to myself and Grandma Maddy that I won’t always be the shy, timid girl from my past. I can do big, scary things just like my grandmother, I simply need the confidence.
An idea pops into my head and I sit upright, mulling it over. With Griffin distracted, the window of opportunity is quickly closing. He said he’d be back to check on me in a few hours, which means I have just enough time to put my plan into action. I’m not sure what he’ll think of it, but he won’t have a chance to doubt me once it’s all over with.
I pull myself up into a standing position and wipe the remnants of tears from my eyes and cheeks. My mission is clear now. I know what I need to do, I’m just faking the confidence part in hopes it will show up later.
When I'm somewhat put together, I step outside, pleased to see my skis resting against the side of my cabin. Griffin must have gone back to the bench where I took them off and delivered them because of course, he did.I hope I’m about to make him proud…
I snap my skis on, securing my boots in place before carefully making my way toward the ski lifts. The slopes are mostly empty, but I don’t really think anything of it. Everyone must be at lunch like Griffin and his family. That’s just fine by me. The fewer witnesses, the better.
When I get to the ski lifts, I realize each one goes to a different slope. There's one for the bunny hill, several for different grades of medium-difficulty hills, and another for a more advanced trek down the mountainside.