Page 87 of She Belongs to Me

“Not a conversation for today.” I don’t think she realized just how far we’d gone during the short conversation.

When Sassy snorted, Alexandra yelped, her grip on the rein so tight she was going to fall from the stiffness of her body.

I tugged on the rein, slowing us both down. “Relax, little flower. Sassy was remarking on the scenery.”

“Right.”

“Look around you.”

She was shaking badly enough that I was fearful getting home would be a challenge.

“Lift your head. We rode much further already than you think we did.”

Her grumble was just as defiant as the woman herself. I had a feeling the shift of emotions provided a safety net. She looked up, taking a few seconds before she shifted her gaze from left to right. I could tell the moment she realized what she was seeing. Vast rolling hills full of green pastures and vineyards. Trees as far as the eye could see. If she craned her neck, she’d catch a glimpse of the ocean to her right from our elevated perch.

“Breathtaking,” she whispered. “Is that a lake over there?”

“It is. The body of water is fed by a river flowing through the city that ultimately leads to the ocean. My grandfather developed an irrigation system a long time ago. It supplies about sixty percent of the water needed for our crops. We also catch rainwater, which we then are able to use as well. We are almost one hundred percent self-sustaining.”

I could tell Alexandra was impressed, managing to relax once again. “You love the land.”

“You have no idea. The olive trees and now the vineyards are in my blood. My father was an excellent and very patient teacher with his children, allowing all three of us to learn to appreciate the land and the nourishment. There is nothing like being a part of the harvest. Nothing. We celebrate afterwards with a huge party. All the employees and their families are invited. It’s magnificent. Music. Wine. Dancing. Bonuses.” I chuckled. “I never want them to end.”

“Then don’t let them,” she said with reverence in her tone.

“Come on. We’re headed to the lake. There’s a special spot my mother adores. I’ve found her there reading a book on dozens of occasions. I only hope my brother and sister have kids to pass this onto.”

“What about you? Aren’t you going to have lots of babies?”

Her question was intended to catch me off guard. I laughed, although the sound was hollow. “I don’t know, little flower. I don’t think I’m cut out to be a father.”

“That’s ridiculous. I think you’d make a great father.”

She truly didn’t know me well enough. Bursting her bubble might be necessary. Plus, the blip of time in the past had stolen so much of my fatherly desire.

“Come on. I have a feeling you’re thirsty.”

“And hungry.”

At least she was able to find levity in what we were doing. That’s what I’d hoped for. As far as what the future held, that wasn’t something I wanted to think about.

Not now.

My mother had touted picnics over the years. I’d laughed at her, spouting off that the practice was for chicks. Still, I’d thoroughly enjoyed the time outdoors and the company.

“Have you ever thought about death?” Alexandra asked. She was sitting close to the water on the blanket Romeo had supplied. With the glass of wine in her hand, the contemplative look on her face, and the way the light breeze shifted strands of hair against her face, I couldn’t take my eyes off her.

“Why would you ask a question like that?”

“Because my mother died giving me life and my father died during a ceremony celebrating that life. I caused two deaths and that weighs on me. You know?”

Seeing life in that manner from someone else’s point of view, a woman who had her entire life ahead of her was troubling. “You weren’t responsible.”

“My rational brain says that, but my heart tells me something else. I was a good girl, but no matter how Aunt Kim tried to provide me with a good Catholic upbringing, I couldn’t tolerate going to church. I know that makes me a terrible person, but I’ve always felt like I killed two people and that thought has eaten me up inside. I think that’s why I was driven to become a doctor. To save lives. One day I hope to be a surgeon. We’ll see what happens.”

“Do you honestly think I’m going to put a stop to what you want to do with your life?”

Alexandra’s bashful look told no lies. “I don’t know what to think or expect. This is like living a fantasy. I own a horse. I never had an animal because Aunt Kim was allergic to dogs. We had less than a quarter of an acre of land, city life all around us. Horns. Traffic accidents. She loved me and I was so grateful, but the house never felt like home.”