Page 8 of Sugar Plum Dreams
But Cin didn't want to have to hide her sadness at being alone for yet another Christmas. Or being kept wrapped up so that noone saw her relationship. She wanted to be unwrapped out in the open. She wanted to be presented like a treasured present.
"I just need some time to myself."
Noel gave her a sympathetic look but nodded. "All right, sis. But if you change your mind, you know where to find us."
Noel and Mindy moved away, wrapped up in their blissful world. Cin glanced over at Kristen. She was still talking to Justin. She wasn't smiling anymore. She looked a bit bored. But she also wasn't moving away from him.
That did it for Cin. She knew she couldn't stay at the party, watching from the sidelines as everyone else celebrated. She slipped out the door she'd never fully gone into. As she backtracked, the sounds of the party faded behind her. The hallway was quiet, the only light coming from the soft glow of the Christmas decorations.
Closing the door of her office behind her, Cin shut out the world. Her office was a sanctuary, filled with the tools of her trade and the creations she poured her heart into. Her fingers traced the intricate patterns of a lace design she was working on. The silence was soothing, but it couldn't quite chase away the ache in her chest.
Cin sighed and reached for her phone, hoping for a distraction. A notification popped up from the dating app. She had two new matches.
The first profile was a graphic designer with a passion for hiking and cooking. Sarah was her name. Her profile picture showed her standing on a mountaintop, her face lit up with joy and confidence.
Thumbing down the screen detailed that Sarah was outdoorsy, creative, and seemingly kind. Still, Cin hesitated. She had been down this road before, meeting women who seemed ideal on paper, only to end up heartbroken. But at least Sarah was a card-carrying lesbian. Out in the open.
Cin swiped to the second profile. The woman, Rachel, was a librarian with a love for classic literature and photography. Her profile picture was more subdued, showing her sitting in a cozy nook with a book in her hands, a gentle smile playing on her lips. Something about Rachel’s calm demeanor drew Cin in, but she found herself comparing her to Kristen’s subtly vibrant energy.
Kristen, who was into guys. One guy in particular. A guy who definitely didn't deserve her. But that was a road Cin had been down too often—rescuing a straight woman from a crooked guy.
Cin leaned back in her chair, the leather creaking softly. She felt the weight of a decision pressing down on her. Could she really find love through an app? Could any of these women compare to the connection she felt, albeit one-sided, with Kristen?
Taking a deep breath, Cin decided to take a chance. She clicked on Sarah’s profile and accepted the date.
6
Kristen forced a polite smile as Justin continued to ramble on about his latest gym exploits. Behind them, the raucous notes of a Christmas carol came over the room's speakers. Raucous, because her colleagues were changing the words to the popular tune to make it more risqué. Justin didn't seem to notice.
“So then I told my trainer that I needed to up my weights, you know, really push myself to the next level.” Justin flexed his biceps for emphasis.
Kristen nodded absently, her mind drifting. She had realized early on in the conversation that she had absolutely nothing in common with Justin. His constant need to talk about himself was grating. The more he spoke, the less attractive he became. She glanced around the room, searching for an escape route.
Her eyes landed on Cin, who was standing near the doorway, her vibrant red hair catching the light. Kristen felt a pang of longing. She wished Cin would come over, interrupt Justin, and rescue her from this tedious conversation. But as soon as she spotted her, Cin turned and walked out of the room.
Kristen’s heart sank. She felt trapped. She desperately tried to think of a polite way to end the conversation, but Justin was relentless.
“So what about you, Carrie? What do you do to stay in shape?” Justin asked, leaning closer.
Kristen swallowed, feeling her throat tighten. “Oh, I, um, I like to go for walks.”
“Walks? That’s nice, I guess. But you should really try weightlifting. It’s life-changing. Especially as you age.”
Kristen didn't even have the energy to get annoyed at the wrong name or the veiled dig at her age. Her gaze remained on the door where Cin had disappeared.
Her anxiety hadn't been bothering her. Not with the Benwa balls lodged inside her core. The heaviness grounded her. But this conversation with Justin was making her feel tired and irritated.
She wished she could slip away unnoticed, but Justin’s presence felt like a heavy weight pinning her down. The lights felt too bright. The festive music grew too loud. Her discomfort grew with each passing second.
"Hey, Justin," said Stephanie, one of the Mrs. Santa impersonators. "I saw you over here by yourself."
That was clearly a dig on Kristen. But she didn't care. She gave Stephanie a grateful smile and ducked out of the conversation.
As she made her way to Cin’s office, the sounds of the party faded into the background. The hallway was dimly lit. The spicy smell of cinnamon grew the closer she got to Cin's workroom.
That was funny. Kristen never associated the spice with the fashion designer. At least not before today. Cin always made her think of warm cocoa.
Kristen paused outside Cin’s door, taking a deep breath to steady herself. Though why she needed to steady herself, shedidn't know. Cin never made her nervous. She was always a calming presence. With a gentle knock, Kristen pushed the door open.