Page 40 of Master B-1901
This was better. This was right.
Weight thrashed underneath, and he bucked, sending me pitching forward. It put me in perfect distance. I reached over, grabbing the saw, watching as his eyes went round in terror.
Instinct immediately hit a wall of restriction. Where my true self knew what it wanted,what came natural, all I could feel was the overpowering need to finish it. Finish it. Finish. Yes. With my fist. Hit. Pound. Rage. But that wasn’t me. Not at all. Was it? No. I wanted to take him apart. I wanted to pull his jaw clean off and turn him inside out. Hit? I wanted to, just from the anger that came with the command of my mind.
“No!”
My palm flattened on the crow’s forehead, but the weight from his forearm was trying to wedge through to break my hold. I dropped the saw, pounding my fist into his face even more. The more he fought, the harder I hit.
“No.”
Hit
“No.”
Hit.
“No!”
The man’s head rolled, and his eyes fought to stay open. I grabbed the saw, pushing my bandaged palm back against his forehead, adding my weight. Leveling the blade horizontal over his mouth, I pushed past his lips and teeth. The first push of my hand had the razor-sharp blade slicing through the skin of his cheeks like butter. Muscle opened up exposing meat. I sawed the opposite way, pushing against him even more as a mad laughter began to leave me.
Thisis what I had wanted out of the Gardens.Thiswas who I really was. Even in the realm of real and make-believe, there was no sense of true self. Only an awareness. Not an association. The realization had the crazed laughter dying, replaced with the demonic howls I knew all too well. It was the Braddock in the window covered in blood, hitting against the glass so that he could break free. The Braddock who killed his tutor just to see what death was like. He was still here. Still inside of me.
Deep pants left me as I pulled back, looking at the mush along the edges of the blade. Blood splattered the man’s face, and the crow’s head was almost cut in half. His eyes were glassing over as blood pooled in the large opening of his mouth. He was choking, coughing and sending more crimson spraying out.
For the first time in as long as I could remember, I didn’t move. I didn’t disappear. I kept staring into eyes that were slowing and searching for a miracle. His life was fading, but I wasn’t this time. I soaked in the struggling breaths. I let every twitch and jerk of his body register below me. I vowed…I’d never lose this again. I’d never lose my true self. I was here to stay, no matter what I had to do to make it that way.
f0091
So much blood. It was everywhere as I took in my Master tearing into the dead crow’s face. Nineteen and another guard stood inside, close to the door, not interfering through the rage induced yells that left him. And rage…it was in every cell of his being as he unleashed the emotion with every clench and hook of his fingers in mutilated flesh. Cheek muscle oozed between his digits through the raking. And louder he yelled as he tugged at the jawbone. Faster, he dug. Pulled. Dug. Pulled. Jerked. Twisted.
“Interesting, isn’t it?”
My breath caught and my heart nearly stopped as I jerked my head to the side.
“He did this with his second slave after I made him beat her brains in. He’s always been a messy boy.” Melissa’s stare stayed ahead, watching Braddock push through and pop out one of the crow’s eyes from the socket.
“You’re not supposed to be here.”
“No? I don’t recall getting an order to stay away from either of you.”
“I’m giving it.”
The Mistress laughed, continuing to look ahead.
“I don’t take orders. Especially from someone who runs off a program. You are aware of that, right?”
“You need to leave.”
“Or what?” Lids narrowed as she met me head on. Green eyes became slits, softening after a few seconds into a doe shape. I tried to jerk my gaze away but failed. “What are you going to do, slave? …Make me?”
“Yes.”
Laughter echoed from the walls.
“I have a better idea. Let’s be friends.”
“I am not your friend.”