Page 77 of Mistress A-0002
“No.”
“Now!”
Another yell, but he obeyed.
“I’m seeing we should have worked harder on the grief part. All this mess with the Council…for her.I thought we were working through it all so well in therapy.” I snapped, softening the tone of my voice and changing into a doe-eyed expression. “I guess you can’t fuck the misery out of someone. Let’s go through one last session, for old time’s sake. Lucid, this time. I already know you won’t be able to deny what I’ve known all along.” I clicked my tongue, circling my hand over my face, drawing his attention. “You hate me because you hate her. We’re one now, she and I. See me for who I am to you.”
Elec’s breath caught, and he lifted his hands from the floor, moving higher back on his knees through the shock.
“Better? It’s like seeing a ghost, isn’t it?”
“Stop.”
“You don’t want me to stop.” I licked my lips. “You just want me. And that’s okay to give in to those feelings.”
“Melissa.” Elec’s squeezed his lids shut, only to open and blink rapidly. “Stop this right now.”
“Let’s go back to that day. Back to her lying in bed, in her room.”
“Fuck you.” His fingers pushed through his hair, gripping to the length. “Take it off. You’re not Vivia. I won’t see her as you.”
“You already do, or else this moment couldn’t exist.And you will until you die.” I caressed down the side of my face causing his lips to part through the pain of seeing the woman he loved just as real as if she were here in the flesh. “You can’t hurt me. You won’t even try. You want to kiss me. You want me more than anything.” I slowly unbuttoned my blouse, reaching the last button and leaving it open. “Can you feel it, Main Master? Our connection?”
“This isn’t real.”
I inched forward, testing the distance.
“This is real in your mind, and you know it. To you, I am Vivia. I’m right here, Elec.”
“No. Stay the fuck away from me.” He twisted, leaning to the side, but he couldn’t turn away.
“You don’t want that. Youreallydon’t. Look at me.”
“I fucking hate you.”
“Look at me!”
Ice blue eyes jerked back to mine. His hand lifted, his fists curling in as his teeth became exposed. It had me smiling.
“You were always so stubborn. You could never completely fall under as deep as I wanted. Luckily.” I clicked my tongue twice, drawing his attention as I tapped against my exposed chest. “This. Your heart. It belongs to me. You’re not angry anymore. Feel the tension and pressure from the rage leave you. You’re not even thinking about who I really am. To you…I am Vivia.” I narrowed my eyes the smallest amount to drive my words home. “I am Vivia, and you love me. It’s time to prove it. Take off your clothes,Main Master. Let’s end this right.”
Main Master
Even locked into Melissa’s triggers, I was well aware of what was happening. The Council was watching. I was removing my fucking tie. I’d fuck Melissa if she commanded me to. I wouldn’t have a choice. My words were still my own. My body was a different story. But she was going to kill me, during or after. Those were her intentions. I wasn’t naïve about where this was going. Tonight, things would be ending one way or another. If I didn’t figure out how to break this hold, it would be ending with me as a corpse.
“You won’t get me under completely. I won’t bend to your demands. You’re not Vivia. You can look like her. You can sound like her. That doesn’t make you her.”
Melissa sighed. “You used to love to play games. You’re not making this very fun. I see I’ll have to shake things up. Think about our sessions. Let’s go back to the anchor point, shall we? You know what I’m talking about.” She waved her hand against the wall, clapping so loud that I felt my body jolt through the ripple that seemed to roll through the room. What I saw had me searching for air. I’d seen Vivia’s old room in dreams. It was perfectly maintained in my memory. To see it again. Tobein it,exactly as I remembered. My fingers clamped to my suits jacket, too in shock to shrug it off like I’d intended.
“Better?” She waved to her side. My brain battled between the bed I saw, and the location where I knew my sofa rested. “Shall I climb in and lay down? Do you remember what I was wearing the last time you saw me laying in my bed?”
I jerked hard at my suit’s jacket, feeling myself remove and cling to it as I glared at her. At…Vivia. But my glare didn’t last as her eyes widened and filled with sorrow. Blame? It was so hard to suddenly decipher want and need. Real and false. Past, present, and sessions I couldn’t remember. How many times had I imagined this? How many times had I offered to sell my soul to just see her again. To have her? To hold her? And I could. I could give in and die this way. I could end this right with the only woman I would ever love. Was it so wrong to pretend? Hadn’t that been what I’d been doing with June? I was desperate for a clone of Vivia, and now I had her. She was right here. I could give in and leave this world like this…to truly be with her…I could…No. I was fooling myself. It wasn’t the same.I wasn’t the same.
“You’re so pale.” A soft laugh, her laugh, drew me from foreign thoughts. Thoughts I shouldn’t have had. Thoughts that didn’t even feel like mine. Not really. My brain was scrambled. Parts of me were mixing with accumulations of somebody I wasn’t anymore. A stranger. I was no different than any Master or Mistress here. They may have primarily been under my control, but I was under Melissa’s.Under Vivia’s.What Melissa had done over the years, I didn’t even know. But I knew what she was capable of, because I knew what I could do, and that was enough to have me scouring my mind for some form of balance and control.
I slowed my breaths, letting my jacket fall to the floor. When I moved up to unbutton my shirt, my skin crawled with warning.I barely felt it as I focused on the instructions I made sure to listen to every day. Loops were easy as long as I was lucid. Reversing the effects were possible. It was getting there that was the hard part. But even if I could, I had other things to take into account. The Council. The future.A truth I couldn’t connect with.
“I’m going to miss this,” she mumbled. “Have you missed me, Elec?”