Page 79 of Mistress A-0002
Did I care what he thought? I should have cared. I should have?—
My eyes lifted to hers. She was Vivia. She was the love of my life.
“Elec, you poor thing. You’re really not feeling good. Come to the bed. Let me make you feel better.”
I let her help me stand, feeling myself sway into her small frame. We more fell onto the bed than lowered to it. I held her inclose, trying to protect her from my weight as I rolled her to be more on top of me.
“I have to stop drinking. I.” I swallowed hard. I didn’t taste alcohol. Had I been drinking? I couldn’t remember drinking.” I swept over Vivia’s concerned face again, searching. Searching. Had I been out with friends? I couldn’t remember anything at all.
“You’re always so serious.” She snuggled in, adjusting along my side as she turned my face more towards her. “Kiss me and let’s forget everything. The last few weeks have been horrible. Make it go away. You always know how to do that.”
“Has it been so bad?”
Her lips brushed mine.
“I just want to forget everything. I want things to go back to what they used to be. We’re not the same.”
“We’re not?”
Did something happen? This was Vivia. I loved Vivia. She was…Vivia. Why would things not be the same?
“Don’t act like you don’t know what’s wrong. You did this to us.”
“I…Vivia. I’m sorry.”
“I know. Are you going to kiss me and make it better?”
My hand slid against her cheek, and I leaned in, halting just before our lips brushed. Nothingness. Blank. Blank. Loop.
“Jesus, Elec.”
Lips pressed hard into mine and pressure from her hand settled on my bare chest. Pleasure morphed with pause stealing me from the kiss so that all I felt were the tips of her nails against my skin. I jerked back, breathing hard as I scanned her face. It only lasted a moment before I lifted to a sitting position. My mind was racing with emptiness. Swarming and searching for…something.
“Sorry, baby, I gotta go. I’m really not feeling well.” I stood, eyeing the door and already heading for it. “Raincheck, okay?”
Clap!
“Glue.”
My legs locked through the rolling sensation. I felt sick. My head pounded, and I reached up to my temple hearing words I couldn’t decipher. Words I knew but didn’t recognize.
“You are some kind of work. Where do you think you’re going?”
My lids cracked open.
“Vivia, I…I’m really not well. I feel sick. Am I sick?”
“If you are, it’s your fault. I told you to lie down.”
Back and forth my head shook. This wasn’t right. Something wasn’t right.
“Elec Wexler.” The click of her tongue drew my attention. “I told you I can make you feel better. Watch my hand.” She grabbed her breast through the white nightgown, gripping hard before tracing it down her stomach. “Don’t you want to see if this will make you feel better? I bet it does.”
Slowly, she pulled up the hem. My entire body was shaking. But not with anticipation. Not even from pent up excitement. I was angry. Angrier than I could ever remember feeling. Wasn’t she listening to me? Couldn’t she see I wasn’t feeling well? I was sick. I was…looping. There was a loop. Something with a loop.
“You look like a ghost. Walk, Elec. Get back on the bed.”
And I was.But I didn’t want to. Just seeing her was making me mad. She wasn’t listening to me. Vivia never listened to me. It was always about what she wanted. What about me?