Page 10 of Fervor
I made my way to a seat by the window as she watched me. She smiled again and nodded. After closing the door, she sat across from me, and we stared at one another for a moment. “I can already tell a lot about you by where you chose to sit.”
My eyebrows lifted slightly. “Really?” I asked.
The less I had to verbalize, the better. If she could read me, I would either agree or disagree. If I agreed, there would be no need for my input.
“Yes, ma’am. You have a spirit that longs to be free… like a bird. However, by the way you turned away from the actual window, it tells me that something is holding you captive.”
I lowered my head and swallowed hard then nodded. “Wow. That’s correct. I assume we’re going to get into that then.”
“Somewhat. I’m not here to address your issues but more so to find out your desires for a mate and gauge your personality traits accurately so you can be matched with your ideal mate. Are you talking to someone about whatever those issues are?”
“I am. Actually, Giselle’s mother is my psychiatrist.”
“Oh! Yes, I see that Giselle referred you to us. She and Gentry are amongst our success stories! I’m glad you’re talking to someone about whatever those issues are. Well, I have your responses to our questions pulled up on my computer, so let’s get to it, shall we?”
“Absolutely.”
She tapped on the iPad in her hand, then asked, “Is it okay if we record the session? It makes the process easier if you need to elaborate on your answers to the questions you answered online.”
“Sure.”
She smiled then stood to start the camera positioned across the room. My nerves were back. Although I agreed, I hated being recorded. I didn’t know why. It just made me uneasy for some reason.
Once she sat, she said, “Okay. I’m just going to read these verbatim, and if I need you to elaborate a bit, we can get into that.” She took a deep breath and began. “What are the most important values you look for in a partner? For example, honesty, loyalty, kindness, etcetera. You responded, I look for all those things mentioned in the example. Sometimes, I can be unforgiving of flaws, but if he’s honest about them from the start, then we can possibly have something to build on. So honesty is at the top of the list.”
She glanced up at me with a slight smile. “Did you want to add anything to that?”
“I think I said everything, except that I want him to be considerate of how I may be feeling. My hormones are going crazy these days. Since I turned forty, I feel like my body is trying to figure out if it still wants to be young and vibrant or if it wants to be led out to the pasture.”
She laughed hard. “Not led out to the pasture! Girl, you’re funny! Communication is important.”
I nodded, accepting what she said. That was hard for me. It was like I wanted my man to be expressive simply because I wasn’t. I wanted him to pull me out of my way of thinking through his expressive way of showing his love, coaxing me to eventually do the same.
She went on to the next question. “Which three qualities are absolute must-haves in your ideal match? You said that he must be expressive, confident, and aggressive.”
She looked up at me, I supposed waiting to see if I wanted to add to that. “Aggressive?” she asked.
“Yes. I’m aggressive. I don’t want him to allow me to walk all over him, because I will, unintentionally. I’ve been the boss of my affairs for a long time. I’m not used to needing anyone or being with anyone. I want him to be able to put me in my place… respectfully but with enough authority to make me submit.”
She nodded with a slight smile. “You’re hardheaded and stubborn. That’s what you’re telling me?”
I chuckled and shrugged. “I guess that’s exactly what I’m saying. Hmph. I can’t believe I admitted that.”
She smiled big. “Okay. Do you have a preference for your partner’s education level or career path? You said, no. As long as he has a career or job that sustains him, we should be fine.”
“Yes, ma’am. I’m not trying to be his mother. We should be better together. I don’t need him taking away from me financially. I can do bad by my damn self… Sorry.”
She chuckled. “That’s okay. I can see you relaxing, and I love it.”
I smiled. She was right. I felt totally comfortable in this moment, so much so that I’d turned to the window and stared out of it at people walking and cars passing by, wondering where they were going.
Bringing me back to the task at hand, she asked, “What are your top two interests and hobbies that you enjoy most? Yousaid, I love reading and dancing, especially when I’m with my sorors. I pretty much keep to myself, though, because trusting people is extremely hard for me.”
She gave me a sympathetic glance, causing me to lower my head. “So much happened when I was young. My dad was in the streets, and he taught us not to trust people. He said people were selfish and only thought about their own desires. Sometimes, I would find that I was selfish as well. That was something I had to work on, and I believe I got a handle on it. Relocating here from Houston gave me a fresh start in every aspect. New people, new environment, new Yunique. However, it still takes me a while to trust people or processes. I’m a work in progress on that front. I stay guarded to avoid getting hurt. I feel like it’s simply because I haven’t met the right person.”
“That’s possible. The right man can nearly make you lose yourself. I was somewhat guarded when I came through Arranged Hearts. My husband wore me down after a while. He’s everything I didn’t realize I needed.”
“That’s great. You’re proof that this can actually work, along with Giselle and Gentry. It proves they weren’t just a fluke.”