Page 5 of Fervor

I gave him a half smile. That nigga could always peep game quickly. That was why he was Jungle’s right hand. Nobody wanted to fuck with their asses. Something like that would find you floating in a bayou or disintegrated at a crematory. I took his phone from him and saved my number in it.

When I gave it back to him, I asked, “How long will y’all be here?”

“Another week or so. I’ll hit you up tomorrow, though, because we’re supposed to go out.”

“Sounds like a plan. I gotta find a way to get that dark chocolate. She gon’ be good for my overall health. All the shit one hundred percent dark chocolate can do for you is worth the chase, man,” I said as I stared inside the building.

When I glanced at Vegas, he was staring into the building as well. “Tell me about it.”

He turned to me, and we shook hands again. “I’ll holla at’chu later, man, with the details,” he said.

“That’s what’s up. Thanks for looking out.”

He gave me a smirk like he knew something I didn’t, then said, “I hope you don’t have your feelings on your sleeve. She tough.”

I chuckled. “I gathered that already. Talk to you later, nigga.”

I made my way to my SUV, wishing I would have said more to Yunique, but it was probably best that I didn’t. I probably would have decreased my chances significantly by being too aggressive. I would take it day by day, and if the cards lined up, she would be mine… eventually.

Icould hear Keke crying, but it sounded like her blanket was on her face. Mama was cooking, so I would be a good big sister and go check on her. I tried being extra quiet, not wanting to make more noise to fully wake her up. I would pick her up and put her back to sleep if I could. Mama was always so tired and busy. I liked helping her when I wasn’t at school. Daddy was always gone with Mister Ice, Mister Joshua, and Mister Mo.

Although I was only eight years old, I knew how to do a lot of adult things. Mama was teaching me how to wash clothes and cook. I loved every minute of it. Now that I had a little sister, I could teach her everything Mama taught me. I quietly made my way down the hallway and slowly opened her door.

Mister Mo was in her bedroom. Something wasn’t right about that. He only came inside to use the bathroom, then he would go back outside with Daddy. I eased into the roomwithout making a sound to see if he was trying to pick up Keondra. She was only ten months old and needed at least two naps a day. As I peered around his large frame, I saw his hand over her mouth.

A frown graced my face. I was about to scream at him until I saw his fingers going in and out of her diaper. I was frozen, especially when I looked up at him to see the evil grin he had on his face. He pulled his gun from his waistband and pointed it at me.

I woke up in a sweat, panicking and feeling like I couldn’t breathe. I closed my eyes after standing from the bed and did my best to take deep breaths. It was a struggle, though, because I felt like I didn’t have enough air. Lifting my arms in the air, I tried again. It seemed that helped a little but not quite enough.

Tears fell down my cheeks as I tried to figure out what ignited this shit within me again. I was over this shit a year or so ago. The counseling had helped tremendously, and I hadn’t had a dream about it in a long time. I went to the bathroom and started the shower as I panted, still struggling to breathe. I supposed I was having an anxiety attack, provoked by the dream I was having.

I started having anxiety after witnessing my sister’s abuse. That man threatened my entire family to keep us from telling my dad. Yonkers was feared on the streets of Houston, and because of that, we always thought we were safe from the world. Unfortunately, he unknowingly invited the devil into our home. Although he tried to hide his activity from us, I knew what he was doing. He rarely brought “Yonkers” home because he didn’t want his three daughters to be exposed to that side of him, but I saw it anyway.

I loved my daddy, but after that happened with Keke, I began to resent him. Mo molested my little sister for two, almost three years. My mama knew it, but he threatened to kill us if wesaid anything. All that time, we were living in fear. I couldn’t understand why I couldn’t tell my daddy, but Mama said that she wanted to protect Daddy and the rest of us. I was angry that she sacrificed Keke to protect him and us.

I wanted him to suffer for what he did to her, and he finally had, thanks to Vegas. He loved Keke so much. Him doing that proved that he would do anything for her. While Keke said he didn’t like Mo, Mo wasn’t on his radar until she wanted to kill him. I hated what I’d done to my sister. It was a horrible lapse of judgment. That should have been a conversation between my mama and me. I was only thinking of myself and not how that news would affect Keke and Sasha. It was all fucked up, and if she never wanted to speak to me again, I would have had no one to blame but myself.

When I left Houston for college, I promised myself I wouldn’t fuck with no thug-ass niggas. While my father didn’t know what happened, I felt like he failed us by bringing that grimy ass nigga around us. Surely, he had to know that man couldn’t be trusted. I couldn’t understand why he would do that when he went through so much trouble keeping us out of that world. The men that were loyal to him rarely came around us because they knew how he felt about us being exposed to that life.

Ice and Joshua, Jungle’s and Vegas’s fathers, respected that. Mo, obviously, did not. He didn’t respect Yonkers at all for him to do the bullshit he did. I closed my eyes again, still trying to catch my breath. Going back to my room, I sat on the side of the bed and pulled my nightshirt over my head. My body was soaking wet. It felt like I was battling an internal fire. When my phone started ringing, it only made my panic attack worse, especially when I saw it was Vegas.

I quickly grabbed it and answered while holding my chest. Before I could say a word, he said in a soothing voice, “Breathe,sis. Close your eyes and relax. Lay on your back and lift your arms over your head.”

I put the phone on speaker and set it on the nightstand and did as he said. I wasn’t sure why he was calling so late, but I was grateful he called. It couldn’t have been an emergency since he was trying to help me through this.

“Listen to my voice, Yunique. I don’t know why you’re struggling, and I don’t even know why I felt like something was wrong, but I’m glad I called. Whatever is bothering you, it ain’t worth what it’s doing to your health. Nothing can be bad enough to kill you. Business is good, you have a new god baby, and the family is great. Anything else can be worked out. You hear me?”

I sat up, breathing so much easier. “I hear you. Thank you, Vegas. I just…”

“You still having nightmares, aren’t you?”

“I had one tonight. I hadn’t had one in a long time. I don’t know what triggered it.”

“Okay. Maybe you should call my mama and schedule an appointment. She’s still awake.”

I glanced at the clock to see it was nearly one o’clock in the morning. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath. “You’re right. I’ll call right now. Thanks, brother.”

“Anytime, Nique. See you tomorrow.”