Page 60 of The Bonds of Nyx
21
ROWAN
THEREwas a heavy silence that filled the houseafter Kerry Sullivan’s death.
It was hard to call it a death when she was still in a sleep stasis, but by the time she arrived in Avalon and the necromancers had their way with her burial, she would be.
My heart ached for Ivy in a way that felt unexplainable. Like the pain she felt was somehow seared onto my own soul. Seeing the devastation that was caused brought on more pain than I could have ever imagined, but I had to stop myself from going to her.
She had Adrian and Wolfy to do that now. It wasn’t my place.
But it should be. I shook my head to clear those thoughts and instead brought the tumbler of scotch to my lips. It burned down my throat and washed away the bitter jealousy clinging to my thoughts.
Memories of her running through the forest and the absolute terror that was burned into my chest as we searched for her filled my head. Seeing her wrapped in Hawk Nash’s arms as he whispered to her in the language of the Unseelie had sparked something violent within me.
Jealousy, you fucking idiot. It was jealousy.I snorted, taking another mouthful of the amber liquid.
At least we’d be back in Avalon soon. There, I could step back from being by her side if needed to. As much as those thoughts pained me, I focused on them as I downed the rest of the scotch.
“It’s pretty sad you’re in here drinking alone.” I looked up at who owned the taunting voice and rolled my eyes as Hawk Nash strolled into the office. “So, how’s the Queen-to-be? We should be on our way soon.”
I couldn’t help but cut him a glare. “Don’t sound so pleased. Three children and your future Queen just said goodbye to their mother. Ivy is in no state to be worrying about this, as you well know.”
At least he had the decency to look ashamed. “Not what I meant,” he replied, shaking his head. “I do feel for Her Majesty, but it’s imperative that we get her back safely.”
I snorted. “Just leave them alone so they can grieve in peace. They don’t need your self-righteous bullshit doing any more damage.”
Hawk stalked over to the table I’d secured for my day drinking and sat, reaching for the scotch with a frown. “Is it self-righteous if I’m right?”
“Yes.” I snatched the bottle from him and filled my glass again. “Just leave them alone.”
His black eyes hardened, and he shook his head. “I’m just doing my job. What the hell are you doing?”
Instead of answering, I watched him stand and stride out of the office. The door clicked shut behind him, and I released a shuddering breath. I ran my hands through my hair, tugging at the roots, and couldn’t help but wonder what the fuck Iwasdoing.
I wanted to be with Ivy, but I was holding myself back from her because she didn’t need me. What she needed were her mates—bonded and otherwise—to help her through her grief so she didn’t magically blow up again. I couldn’t help her with that.
I downed the second glass and rose, leaving my little pity party behind. Ivy was grieving, and I was sad I couldn’t help her? I shook my head at my own stupidity.
As I exited the office, I almost ploughed into Maeve, who looked stern and rightly cross as she scented me. “Drinking? Really?”
I shrugged. “Give me something better to do, then.”
She bared her teeth and crossed her arms. “Your mother sent through a message. Told me to tell you it was time. Not sure what it means but deal with whatever task she needs you to. I have an extraction to plan.”
I hadn’t realised I’d tensed up until after she left. Maeve slipped into her office, closing the door firmly behind her, and left me staring at my reflection in the darkened window.
Obviously, I knew what my mother wanted me to do. Her fucking package. She’d specifically said not to open it until it was time. If intuition was anything to go off, I knew it was finally time to learn the secret she’d hidden within.
Which meant my mother knew something was going to happen.
I still wasn’t sure why she’d sent it when she did. And to have Ivy deliver it to our room when we’d been staying at theCamilla? I clenched my jaw and tried not to think about what Sable’s motives were. After the vision I’d been blessed with last time, I couldn’t imagine what might be waiting for me within the brown box.
I shook my head and slipped into my room down the hall. The bed was a mess of blankets, which I avoided. Instead, I walked into the closet and located the package, which magically followed me to locations. A tricky little spell my mother had put on it, I was sure.
The box rattled as I pulled it from the top shelf and I cradled it in my arms as I returned to the bed. It wasn’t exactly heavy, but there was definitely something bulky inside. Something my mother had either wanted hidden, or thought might help with whatever was happening.
It would be like her to fill it with Ivy’s favourite wine. I wouldn’t be surprised if Ivy was wishing for something a little stronger than the hot chocolate Adrian was probably plying her with.