Page 69 of The Powers of Nyx
“Me neither.” Thea hummed again under her breath, reaching for her own mug.“I wonder who the creatures are living in the little houses. It’s pretty cool, the way they line the cliff.”
I nodded in agreement and sipped my coffee. It wasn’t what she really wanted to talk about, but I appreciated her attempt in trying to keep my thoughts preoccupied. But I did miss her, in a way that made my chest ache. Now that we were in Avalon, how much time would we really have together? Yesterday, just spending the day in bed with her and the children, I’d felt more like...me. Like the old Ivy. But I had to get used to splitting my time, now. I should have known after everything that happened at the safe house, this was going to happen. But it didn’t make it any easier.
It was just another reminder that the things that made me feel whole andmeweren’t always going to be here.
“I don’tfeelhim like I used to,” I said, finally voicing the fear I’d been dwelling on since the meeting with Queen Greer. “And my magic feels...different now. Like the nightmare did something to it. Like evenitis scared.”
“Have you told anyone else?” Thea asked quietly.
I brought the mug back to my lips, relishing in the warmth it offered. “No.”
She grunted, and I glanced at her from the corner of my eye. “The supes should know,” she murmured. “They’re your mates. I mean, I’m your best friend, so always tell me first. But you should probably tell them about this.”
I closed my eyes, breathing a sigh, knowing she was right. “I’m scared. It’s like every step forward, we take five steps back. This whole—himsituation just reminds me of that.”
Thea snorted, and I heard her mug hit the glass table. “Stop focusing on the steps back. This is just another clue. He’s got to be here, right? Somewhere close. You know he’s at least alive.”
“I hope so,” I replied. The whisper of pain from the bond made me wince and lower the mug to my lap. “I don’t know. Honestly, I’m just...tired. And torn.”
“You want him, but you also don’t want him,” she guessed, and I nodded. “That sounds...difficult.”
She wasn’t wrong. It was like a war inside my heart. To accept him would mean accepting his betrayal, but on the other hand, I knew I wouldn’t be able to survive without him. But what lengths would I have to go to in order to accept what he’s done? How much hurt could I really forgive?
“Why didn’t you ever tell me about him?” Thea asked, her stare a heavy weight again, burning into the side of my skull.
My heart clenched, guilt rushing through me. “I don’t know,” I whispered, glancing at her. Her blue-green eyes softened, but she pursed her lips. “I wanted to. But I was embarrassed. Hurt. Broken. I had the glamour affecting me. But I still would have told you. I just didn’t know how.”
“I never would have judged you. And neither will the others.” When I met her stare, she raised a brow and sighed. “You’re holding back from them again, Ives. Whether you’re protecting yourself, or that mystery mate of yours. Doesn’t matter. They’ll do anything for you, and they won’t judge you for how you feel about him.”
I blew out a shaky breath and sat back to stare at the waterfall again. She was right and I knew it. As much as I feared the truth, feared what might happen if I let them into this side of me, I knew they wouldn’t judge me. It meant trusting them with a part of me that I’d held back for eight years. A secret that had been completely mine. A past I hadn’t wanted to relive because doing so would mean heartache all over again.
But if I wanted to find him, tofixwhat his departure broke, then I would need to trust my mates.
Which was definitely easier said than done.
~
I was reaching the point of no return. A moment that ultimately decided everything.
My first real lesson on how to be a proper Daughter of Nyx.
I’m going to be sick, I thought, pressing a hand to my churning belly.
Maeve took my hand and squeezed my fingers lightly. “All will be okay.”
I nodded, but anxiety continued to swirl in my gut, twisting around my insides until it became hard to breathe. “It’s just a lesson,” I muttered, more for myself than her. “An introduction into all things Daughter of Nyx.”
“Yes,” Maeve agreed, entwining our fingers as the doors to the elevator opened, and we were dropped off in the same hall from the night before. “You don’t have to attend. Queen Greer said if you are still affected by the nightmare, the lesson can be postponed.”
Glancing at Maeve, I sighed. “I’ll be fine.”
My vampire mate pursed her lips, but she didn’t say anything more as she guided me towards the meeting room from yesterday. Much like before, it was warm and elegant, but rather than a simple coffee station at the end of the table, a small buffet of food and drink had been set up against the far wall. A short female stood beside it, wearing a dark, tailored suit similar to the ones we saw our first day here.
Queen Greer was already waiting, this time without Lazarus and Amais. Instead, she had Sir Theon with her; the male bowed his head in acknowledgement, while her other mate glanced up and stared at us curiously. He was one of the few I hadn’t been introduced to, and though I vaguely recognised him from our first day, I couldn’t tell what kind of creature he was.
That is Sir Otto,Maeve explained, leading me to one of the chairs across from Greer.Mind mage. And one of Queen Greer’s oldest mates.
Thank Nyx for Maeve.