Page 111 of Broken
She sat on the edge of my bed and ran her fingers through my hair. “Are you sure you don’t want to come with us? Everybody would be so excited to see you.”
Except Tucker.I wondered if he was even going tonight. I doubted he would feel up for the party, but would he go for appearance’s sake like my family wanted me to do? Was he even able to do that?
It hit me then that I didn’t have a clue how Tucker was doing. If he was feeling any better than I was. I hoped so. He didn’t deserve the pain my mistake was putting us through.
The ache thudded in my chest, and I flinched. Mom sighed.
“I know it hurts, baby, but it’s not going to get any better by just lying here all alone.”
I didn’t respond, but Mom still made one more attempt.
“You might feel better. You’ll never know unless you try. You could always come back home if you need to.”
But I did know. The void was too great for any amount of social interaction to help. Besides, I wouldn’t subject my family and friends to my depression during their celebration.
Mom was still waiting, so I closed my eyes, signaling the end of my listening. I thought she would leave, but instead, fingers ran through my hair again, and she said something I didn’t expect.
“Do you remember how badly it hurt when your daddy passed?”
I winced as one of those unexpected stabs tore at my chest.
“Well, as painful as that was, for all of us, it slowly became bearable. Yes, I still have a hard time, but it’s nothing like the excruciating ache from when I first lost him. And I imagine that’s what will happen with this, too, if you let it.”
A tear escaped my eye, and I quickly wiped it away with my fingertips.
Mom sighed, leaning over to give me a kiss on the head, but before she stood, she murmured, “You’remybaby, and I’d be devastated to lose you. A parent should never have to know what that would feel like, and I’m so sorry, my sweet girl, that you have to.”
She left then, and I laid there with silent tears trickling down my cheeks. At first, the tears were part of the ache, but slowly, the numbness crept back in, allowing me to sleep.
I woke up later with a splitting headache. Doing my best to ignore it at first, not wanting to move, I soon gave in to the fact that I needed medicine.
Rolling out of bed, I walked stiffly over to the bathroom, glad that the doctor had put me in a walking cast before I’d left the hospital. I doubted I’d be too successful using crutches with the cast on my arm.
The medicine cabinet was surprisingly empty. Did they clear it out before I got home? Worried that I might be suicidal or something?
I huffed an annoyed sigh.
I neededsomethingfor my head, whether my family trusted me or not, so I decided to go check the other bathrooms. There had to be some Tylenol or something in one of them, right?
Wrong.
The bathroom connecting the other rooms upstairs didn’t have any, and neither did the half bath at the bottom of the stairs. That just left one more.
I slipped inside Mom’s room, unsure why I was trying to be so inconspicuous about it. The clock on the wall told me it was only ten-thirty. It would be at least another two hours before anyone came home, and it wasn’t like Mom got mad if we ever went into her room. Maybe it was because everyone had gone to such lengths to hide everything from me.
Either way, they’d have to deal, because right now, I was desperate. My head was throbbing almost as bad as it had been when I first woke up in the hospital. Besides, it wasn’t my idea to hide all the medicine.
I had to jimmy the lock on the bathroom door but found what I needed, not even having to open the cabinet. There were three bottles sitting right there on the counter. Sifting a few tablets into my hand, I popped them in my mouth, swallowing them without water.
I grabbed one of the bottles on my way out, not wanting to have to walk back downstairs if I needed another dose later, and I was almost out of the bedroom when something on the dresser caught my eye. Curious, I went to get a closer look.
Lying in the center of Mom’s dresser were two envelopes, each with a colorful bow stuck to the corner. One addressed toIsabel, and the other toAnnie. They were both obviously meant as gifts. Our birthdaywastomorrow. But that wasn’t what caught my attention. It was the handwriting that was causing my heart to race in my chest.
Hesitant, I carefully picked up the one addressed to me. In actuality, it was light, but it felt heavy. Like it contained something crucial. Which it should since I was holding a gift from Daddy in my hand.
In awe and suddenly itching with curiosity, I hurried from the room, desperate to make it up to my bedroom where I could unearth the mystery clutched tightly between my fingers,needingto see what Daddy had decided to leave me before he had to go.
I had to slow my pace on the stairs thanks to the boot on my foot, but as soon as I was on the upper landing, I rushed the rest of the way to my room, flinging the door closed behind me, needing to ensure privacy even though no one else was home.