Page 5 of Survival

I rolled my eyes playfully. “I swear, you’re never full.”

He popped a shoulder, owning it, and I just beamed, so happy to be by his side. We followed his family to the baggage claim belt, and when I glanced over, I caught Nic’s gaze piercing me, scrutinizing, and something in me flared in irritation.

“So, what’s the deal with your cousin coming?” I asked, holding Nic’s gaze, refusing to let him win or intimidate me. Or whatever the hell he was attempting with that look. Jet glanced between us, concern crossing his brow as he sighed.

“Yeah, long story.”

Chapter 2

ISABEL

“Five, six, seven, eight,”I counted off, falling into the steps as the next song began to play, my mind still far from the euphoria I needed.

And I needed to find it.BeforeAnnie and the others came home. I couldn’t let them see. They thought I was doing so much better, and I needed them to believe it. If not for their peace of mind then for my own.

After Tucker had slipped out this morning, I’d almost immediately woken up without him there, and I’d never made it back to sleep. It was almost impossible. Annie had left not long after that, and while I’d ached to stop her, to talk to her for a while to keep some of my sanity, I knew I couldn’t. Not today. She’d been missing Jet like crazy, and I wasnotgoing to make her late to see him just becauseIcouldn’t deal with my own shit.

The saving grace had been a call from work, asking me to come in. It was only for a few hours, but I’d seized it. Craving it. That small bit of joy and peace it brought to my heart while I was there, surrounded by all of the little ones…

I’d started at a daycare not long after New Year’s, my wounded heart desperate and searching for something, anything that could make the ache go away. Even just temporarily.

And that’s all it ever was. Temporary. But I didn’t care.

My friends did, though. And they’d be pissed if they knew I took an extra shift today.

Again, I didn’t care. So many choices had been ripped from me lately, and I refused to have this one taken from me, too. Much like the choice I’d made last November had been. My whole world had shifted and changed, and I’d gladly done it, but it didn’t even matter anymore. It could never come to be, and yet, it had totally and completely forever altered everything anyway.

“Dang it,” I cursed, faltering on my landing after a complicated jump and spin. I’d prayed the extra rehearsal would save my sanity, and perhaps it had, but my moves were still terrible, nowhere near what they’d been a few months ago before I’d gotten hurt. I’d been dancing again for about a month now, and I hated the regression. The loss of muscle and coordination in the ankle and leg that I’d broken. I could just picture Leo’s disappointment if I brought this crap to my upcoming Baste Academy audition.

At least, I hadn’t lost that. Leo had filled them in during his, and as soon as they heard and got documentation from the hospital, they were gracious enough to reschedule for me.

One of the small graces life had sent my way.

But that also meant I couldn’t mess this up.

Resetting the music, I started again, letting the melody take control. Sweat plastered my hair to my brow,dripping between my breasts and down the V of my back. My arms were slick with it by the time I was through, and my ankle was starting to ache, telling me it was time to ice it and give it some rest.

I pulled out my earbuds and grabbed my phone, just now spotting the text Annie had sent me twenty minutes ago. I quickly sent one back.

Me: Dancing. Staying sane. The usual. Don’t worry about me, though. Enjoy your time with Jet, and tell him I say hi.

Me: I’ll be at the beach.

I sent the second one as a follow up, remembering Tucker and I promised to steer clear for a bit today when they were getting home.

So much for that ice. I looked wistfully at the freezer, grabbing a couple of bottles of water from the freshly stocked fridge instead.Screw it.I grabbed a pack anyway and headed upstairs.

I wasn’t thrilled at the idea of going to the beach. The crowds were the last thing I wanted to deal with, but the idea of seeing Tucker was definitely appealing. Even now, I ached with his absence. I was so exhausted.

I was always exhausted.

Heading straight into the bathroom I shared with Annie, I ran a bath, setting my ice pack on the counter while I got undressed, careful not to stand in front of the mirror. As soon as it was full enough, I stepped in, my muscles sighing in relief with the heat. I did a quick wash and shave, and then propped my foot up on the side of the tub, placing the ice pack over it. I laid my head back and closed my eyes, my thoughts swirling all too quickly andclosely to things I kept off limits. Things that were tucked away and better left untouched.

So much had changed. So much was different.

My eyes pricked, and I swallowed. I needed Tucker. The peace that being near him brought.

At least fifteen minutes had passed, and my nerves were too anxious now to wait any longer, so I set the ice pack aside and lifted myself out of the tub, grabbing the purple towel from the rod. I quickly wrapped it around myself before I could glimpse my scar in the mirror, the vicious red mark on my abdomen a constant reminder of my loss.