Page 34 of Accepting Fate
“Okayy. Well, this is fucking awkward,” she says, looking anywhere but at me.
I lean forward, set my mug on the coffee table and move to sit next to her, keeping a little distance between us. She turns her body to face mine. “Logan, we don’t know each other very well yet, but I think we both know we aren’t just talking to become friends, right?”
Her face pales. “Um, no. I didn’t know that. I mean I kinda hoped that was the case, but I also thought you just wanted to fuck.”
I laugh. “First off, hearing your potty mouth in person is hilarious. Someone as small as you doesn’t look like you could out curse a sailor.”
Logan doesn’t respond. Instead, she sticks her tongue out at me.
“Second, you’re right. I do want to fuck you. You’re beautiful and you can’t expect me not to think about what hides beneath all your clothes. Whenever that day happens, I intend on exploring your body and memorizing every line of every single tattoo. But I’m not getting to know you just to get in your pants. If that was the case, do you think I would be here right now if I just wanted to get my dick wet?”
Logan shifts on the couch. Her cheeks flush and she attempts to hide the smirk on her face by taking a sip of coffee.
“No need to hide, pretty girl.” I fight the urge to reach out and touch her. I won’t until she gives me the okay.
She places her cup on the coffee table and leans back into the couch, still facing me. “Alright, big guy, I told you to leave the caveman at the door. And in my defense, we never discussed what each other’s intentions were. I figured I would find out when we went for drinks but then this shit happened.”
“Good point. But just so we are clear, that isn’t what is happening here.”
“Grayson, I really like you. You make me laugh and you seem to be a very caring guy. Plus, you aren’t horrible to look at. As you can see, I’m not normal. And I don’t want to get into that right now. I probably won’t for a long time. I need to take things slow. I want to get to know you more and go on dates. But my schedule is insane, and I don’t have a ton of time for dating. Since we are being honest, I have never had more than a friends-with-benefits type situation, so the idea of a relationship is very new to me. I have a lot of baggage and having you in my space is a big step for me. So, if that’s not something you are interested in, I completely understand."
She spits that out so fast that she is out of breath by the time she finishes the last word.
“Logan, I’m not interested in a casual fuck and dump relationship. You say that you have your baggage, but everyone does. You’re a smart girl. I think you have been putting clues together about how we first met and how Lily and Alana got to you. I don’t want to talk about it but that’s not the first time I’ve seen that situation. I’m not comparing our situations, but I want you to know that you don’t have to hide your emotions.”
I know she said she doesn’t want to talk about it, but I have to know. “But I need to know one thing, or it will drive me fucking insane.”
Logan brings the pillow up to her chest, hugs it, and rests her chin atop. She waits for me to continue.
“Is whatever caused you to flinch and call me over the result of someone who tried to hurt you tonight?”
Her eyes close and she takes a deep breath. When she collects herself, she opens her eyes. “No. It was more like a memory of something from another time. I’m sorry but that’s all I can say. But for the record, I’m very sorry I flinched. It wasn’t you, I promise.”
I’m relieved that whatever caused her to be so upset isn’t an active threat. But I still don’t like the gut feeling I’m having that something bigger is going on.
My restraint breaks. I reach out and place my hand on her knee and squeeze it gently. “You know I would never hurt you, right?”
She doesn’t flinch this time, but she does watch my hand for a few seconds before returning her gaze to me.
My thumb rubs circles on her knee and she shakes her head. “I do, but we haven’t known each other for very long. If someone is going to hurt someone, they usually don’t start out being a dickhead. From what I’ve seen, I don’t think that you fall into that category, but I still need to take this one step at a time.”
She’s got a point.
“Well said, Angel. We will go at your pace. But I’m not letting you get away just because you’re scared. I have to tell you that once I have my sights set on something I want, I don’t give up until I get it.”
She rolls her eyes. “Ugh, does that caveman ego get you all the ladies? Please tell me it doesn’t because that was gross.” She flashes me a smile and starts laughing.
I move closer to her and brush her hair behind her ear. She doesn’t flinch this time either, so I brush her cheek with my thumb while my hand wraps around the side of her head, tangling in her hair. I stare into her eyes and her cheeks flush, her laughter stopping abruptly. “Angel, I’m not using it as a line. You’re fucking mine.” Tilting her head down, I kiss her forehead, then lean back to see her green eyes staring at me in surprise.
I can’t fight the urge anymore. I need to hold her. I pull her into my lap and hold her against me. Her body goes rigid for a moment but then I feel her relax. Logan nuzzles her head into my neck.
I feel her hands grip my t-shirt. I think she’s about to get mad, but she buries her face deeper into my neck. Her arms wind around my neck and she hugs me as tight as she can, almost like she’s trying to make us one.
My hands run up and down her back and I kiss her head. The smell of vanilla and strawberries fills my nose.
I don't know how long we stay like this, but eventually, Logan pulls away from me slowly and returns to her spot with a smile on her lips. I need to touch her in some way so I pull her legs into my lap.
Logan lets out a small laugh and says, “Dang. Who knew you could give such a great hug, Bear.”