Page 21 of Magic Forsaken

“You don’t know how lucky you are, little one. You’ve survived today. But what will you do tomorrow?”

Callum stood up. Looked around. And somehow I knew… He was perfectly well aware of my presence.

“You can’t run forever, Raine. Not from this. I can help you, but I won’t waste my time if you’re determined to remain in denial of the fact that you’re a shifter.”

I shut my eyes. It sounded… so tempting. What I wouldn’t give to find someone who could help me deal with all of my competing demons. Someone who might know how to cope with all this power, forced into a body that had no clue what to do with it.

But Callum had no idea what I truly was. And he must never, evergetan idea, or my life would end up looking a lot like that kitten’s—lonely, brutal, and short.

Without another word, he set the kitten down, turned his back, and strode away. Back towards the lights and the life of Bricktown. Back towards a world that was safe and easily understood, where everything fit neatly into boxes, and no one challenged his concepts of right and wrong.

The kitten gave another loud, pitiful cry, and hobbled after him.

Honestly, I couldn’t watch. Even in this unfamiliar form, I felt like crying. I knew this was the reality of life, but it still broke me to hear that desperate wail of loneliness and pain.

I would have taken her with me, but she would only see me as a predator now, and I had no hands to carry her. In many ways, I was just as helpless as she was, and I would have cursed if I’d had the capacity for human speech.

Instead, I started to slink away, weighed down with pain and frustration and the exhaustion of carrying my own secrets in addition to all the things I wished I could fix in the world.

I heard a muttered curse from behind me. Heavy footsteps. So I looked over my shoulder, and watched as the grumpy, suspicious, ridiculously handsome king of the shapeshifters picked up the kitten, glared at it for a moment, then tucked it against his chest and walked away.

I told my heart to shut up, turned on my furry paws, and headed for home.

SIX

Stayingin an Idrian hostel had its benefits. I was able to slink right through the front door without drawing so much as a side eye.

Might have been because the desk clerk was asleep and the only people in the lobby were slightly intoxicated gargoyles, but the lack of attention allowed me to focus on managing my instincts and all the brand new sensory input that came with being afox.

I was still struggling with the realization that I was stuck in the body of a real, actual fox. A tiny, fluffy, white one with soft fur, a poofy tail, and dainty little paws that made no sound on the tile floor. I could hear the breathy murmurs from the dreaming clerk, a tiny little snore from one of the gargoyles, and the clicks and creaks and shifts of every other movement in the building. When the furnace rumbled to life, it sounded like a jet engine, and I cowered briefly, my ears drawing flat to my head.

And the smells—mold, mothballs, stale sweat, grease, pizza, pad Thai, pot smoke from under a doorway… The list went on, crowded with scents I knew and many I didn’t. For a moment, I turned and tucked my nose into my own fur to stop the onslaught.

How did shapeshifters do this all the time, day after day? For real shapeshifters, their sense of smell remained somewhat heightened, even in human form, and I was suddenly thankful that at least the magic hadn’t changed me that much. It would have been hard to hide this level of overwhelm every time I went out in public.

Eventually, though, I made it to our room, stood outside the door, and wondered… How could I convince Kes to open the door to a fox? It was past midnight, and I didn’t want to wake the kids. But I also didn’t want anyone else to see me, and I didn’t dare sleep outside. What if I changed back in the middle of the night and didn’t realize it until I woke up naked?

Worse yet, what if I never changed back?

Callum had actually seemed worried about that—suggested I might need help to change back. But I was betting that Kes could help me. She’d done it before, I just hated to ask after everything she’d been through.

I paused in front of the door, considering, and almost as if she’d heard me thinking too loudly, Kes opened it and stared down at me, her gray eyes huge in her pale face.

“Oh no,” she whispered. “Raine, I’m so sorry. I’d hoped this wouldn’t happen.”

A door slammed down the hall somewhere, and she jerked in alarm. “Get in here,” she hissed, standing aside and all but pulling me through the door.

Thankfully, the kids were asleep, so there was no one else to see as she crouched on the floor and regarded me in the dim light of a single lamp. “How did it happen?” Then she shook her head. “Of course you can’t answer. Do you want me to help you?”

I fixed my gaze on her, willing her to hear my reluctance. Of course I didn’t want to be a fox anymore. But I also didn’t want to hurt her. Didn’t want her to feel that she had to use her powerthis way. It wasn’t her fault, and I hated that she felt so much guilt over it.

“Don’t be silly.” Her gaze turned stern as her hand came to rest on my head, oddly comforting even in my current state. “At least this is one thing I can actuallyfix. You know it won’t last, but it’s better than nothing.”

I bent my head and shivered as I felt her magic come to life. The strange tug of her power began to wind its way through my body, pulling at my magic, loosening, stretching,taking…

And then I was back in my own body. Sprawled on the threadbare carpet, cold and shivering and gasping for breath, while Kes curled into a ball, her eyes shut tightly while her muscles spasmed and her fingers shook.

I scrambled to my feet, lurching drunkenly while I pulled my old clothes on, then grabbed a blanket and wrapped it around Kes’s shoulders.