Page 36 of Shattered Trinket

“You don’t want me,” I whimper, my bottom lip wobbling because how could they?

These men, thesealphas, they’re so put together and not weighed down with shame or trauma. Bringing me into their lives would only tarnish their perfect world. Can’t he see that?

I want them, but how could I put my humiliation and suffering on them? How could I willingly let them in, when I still have the biggest secret of all clutched tight to my chest?

With Jeremiah, it’s easy. He witnessed so much of what I went through and still stayed. He won’t care about what I haven’t told anyone else yet because I know he loves me. I know it like I know I would ruin Manny, Zeke, Ridge, and even Micah’s lives if I keep them for myself like I want to.

When will it end? When will the list of things Victor has taken from me finally stop?

Manny’s lips thin into a straight line, thick black brows furrowing as a look of determination flashes through his eyes. I suck in a breath at the change in his demeanor, the sheer resolve in his gaze, and squeeze my thighs tight together when I get the tiniest hint of my perfume trying to fight its way to the alpha in front of me.

“Yeah,mi amor.We do, and we’ll do whatever it takes to prove it to you.”

Before I can say anything else or try to discourage him anymore, Zeke pipes in and Manny’s hold on me loosens before retreating. I almost find myself following the descent of his hand to chase the continued silence and calm.

“Ma says the truck from Nest an’ Things is here,” he mumbles with a disappointed sigh, and I close my eyes.

When I open them, both men are standing holding their hands out for me, so I take each one and let them help me up. Our walk back to the house is much more subdued, but I can’t tell if it’s because they’re upset or just lost in thought like me. The entire walk back, I think about what life would be like if it were just Jeremiah and me.

I could be happy with just him; I know it. But I also realize as I’m imagining that life, there’d be an emptiness left behind. Four giant sized holes in our life, and I don’t like how that looks or feels.

So, I try to imagine what life could be like… with them all.

Jeremiah.

Ridge.

Zeke.

Emmanuel.

Micah.

And what I picture is a million possibilities, an innumerable amount of roads it could lead us on, but it all ends with me…happy.

Loved.

Cared for.

If I’ll only just allow myself the chance to see where this could go with all of them.

Do something that scares you.

We make it back to the carport without a word spoken, something that makes my chest hurt because before I’d startedlisting all the reasons they shouldn’t want me, things were going so well. I just… suddenly fell down a rabbit-hole of self-sabotage.

That wasn’t moving forward.

It was moving so far back that it’s ridiculous, and I’m a little frustrated with myself.

I see a big truck parked in the driveway with the store’s name splashed across the side and someone helping unload everything along with Damien, Shep, Aeon, and even Ridge. My brows rise when I watch him take a heavy box from the driver standing in the back of the truck and turn to head for the house. His face is set with a frown, but he doesn’t seem angry. More… confused, maybe. Or unsure of himself.

Either way, I can’t help the small, grateful smile when he passes me by and finally glances in my direction. His ears turn red, but he tries to smile back, though I’d say it’s more of a grimace. My lips part when I notice the red tint to the tips of his ears, but before I can examine him further, he quickly rushes away with the box in tow.

I sigh and turn to the other two alphas that I’m pretty sure I may have upset back at the pond. When I glance up at Zeke, I flinch the tiniest bit at the hurt I can see so plainly hidden in those green depths. Manny’s eyes mirror Zeke’s, though he’s slightly better at hiding it.

Gods. I’m already royally screwing this up and all we’ve done is exchanged a few words and taken a leisurely stroll in the backyard. How do normal omegas do this whole… alpha thing? Is there a guidebook? AHow To For Dummies?

I clear my throat and twist my hands together in front of me, trying to muster up the courage to say what I should have said down by the water. Eventually, I sigh after I tell myself to quit stalling repeatedly.