Page 10 of Wilde Abandon
The past came back to her in a slideshow of them as kids and the nightmare of how it all ended with him yelling at her that he hated her.
She couldn’t stop the tears now; they ran down her cheeks one after another as her heart broke all over again.“I’m sorry.I’m so, so sorry.I never meant to hurt you.”She couldn’t breathe.She couldn’t stand there and look at him, knowing what she’d done and that he hated her.“I’m sorry.”She dropped the tray she’d been holding and ran through the kitchen.Lyric called out to her, asking what was wrong, but Melody didn’t stop until she shot out the back door and ran across the wide patio area.She bent over and tried to catch her breath and wipe away the tears, but they just wouldn’t stop.
Strong hands settled on her shoulders and pulled her upright.“Hey now.You need to stop that because I seriously have no idea what to do and it’s killing me to see you so sad.Please, Dee, give me a chance to explain.”
She caught her breath when she saw the guilty look in his eyes and she put the pieces together.“You’re him.”
“Yes.It’s me.Fox.”
She shook her head.“No.You’rehim.The guy who’s been DMing me online.”
Even in the dim light she could see the flush of red hit his cheeks.Embarrassment and guilt lit his eyes.“I know it was stupid to try to slip back into your life that way.I should have just talked to you.But there are so many people in the bar and every guy has his eyes on you and I didn’t want to just show up and tell you I’m sorry and dump all our past on you in the middle of your shift with everyone watching.”The words came out in a rushed plea.
She raised a brow.“How did that work out for you?”
A pained look came into his eyes.“I made you cry.I’m sorry.”He ran his hand through his gorgeous hair.“I blew it just like I thought I would.That’s why I tried to talk to you online.I thought if I took the time to get to know you again and you got to know me without everything else from the past, then when I did finally talk to you in person we’d be friends again.”
Both brows shot up this time.“You deceived me, so we could be friends?”
“Yes?”
Why was that a question?
His hand raked through his hair again.“I am so not good at this.”
“What?”She really didn’t understand any of it.
“Talking to people.In foster care, you keep your head down, mouth shut, and just get through another shit day.”
Tears welled in her eyes again.“It’s all my fault.I’m sorry.”
He rushed forward, cupped her face, and brushed his thumbs across her cheeks, wiping away her tears.“Okay, you need to stop doing that.I can’t take it.Nothing is your fault.You don’t owe me an apology.You aren’t to blame for anything.You are everything good and happy that I ever had in my life.
“Because of you, I’m alive.I survived.I’m the one who needs to tell you I’m sorry.I lashed out at you, but I didn’t mean it.You know I could never hate you.”
His eyes burned bright with need for her to understand.“You were my everything.”His mouth crashed into hers in a kiss that stole her breath and commanded all her attention.
She hooked her fingers around his wrists as his hands held her face much more gently than he kissed her.She felt the need and punch behind the kiss that told her he meant what he said.
Just when her body was about to combust from the heat in that kiss, his lips broke from hers and he took one huge step back and released her.
Her hands fell empty at her sides.Her lips felt abandoned and desperate to be claimed again.Her heart thrashed in her chest but it also cried out for that feeling she couldn’t identify to return.Her body vibrated as she held back from leaping back into his arms.
He stuffed his hands in his pockets.“I’m sorry.I shouldn’t have done that.”
All the heat inside her went cold.“Are you sorry?Because that kiss…” She touched her fingertips to her swollen lips.
Something new sparked in his eyes.Hope?“I came here to apologize and beg your forgiveness for my careless words.If you knew how much I missed you, how many nights I thought about you—then and now—maybe you’d believe me when I say you’re the most important person I ever had in my life.”He took a step back toward her.“I’m sorry I left you.I’m sorry it took me so long to come back to you.”Another step closer.“And whatever it takes, I’ll do anything to be your friend again.”The last step brought the toes of his work boots right up to her.“And more.If you’ll let me.Please.Because I think we had a good thing going.I always knew there was no one like you.I just can’tnotsee you anymore.”He huffed out a breath.“See.I can’t speak coherently or think clearly with tears on your face and knowing you thought all this time I actually hated you.”
She did.She had.But now… “I betrayed you.You trusted me with your secret and I told my dad.”
He put his hands on the outside of her shoulders.“You saved my life.If your dad and the police hadn’t found me…” His eyes turned stormy and the fear and pain came back that she’d seen so many times when they were little.
She hadn’t liked seeing the nightmare in his eyes in the boy and she liked it even less in the man.“I just wanted to help you, but you never let me, not in a way that would make things better for you.”
He squeezed her shoulders.“You helped me, Melody, in so many big and small ways.Knowing I’d get to see you at school was sometimes the only thing that made me not want to curl up and just die most days.When I was with you, I could breathe.I had fun.I laughed.I smiled.I had someone who listened and held my hand.I had someone who cared.Dean is not just a friend, he’s like a brother.But you are and will always be the one I trust the most.”He released her and slid his fingers through his hair, and pleaded with his eyes and words.“Please, Melody.I want you back.”
She launched herself into his chest and wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging him with everything she had.She didn’t want to let him go again.Not if it meant more days and years wondering if he was okay, if he was even alive.Because a world without Fox was just not a world she wanted to live in.