Page 24 of Keeping Lilith
“I’m fine.” Her voice was strained, indicating she was anything but that.
“Really?”
Her shoulders slumped a little, and he wanted to pull her close, hug her. Soothe her. Let her know she wasn’t alone anymore, that she had him to rely on. “I don’t know why I’m here.”
“Here as in this office, or here as in away from the compound?”
“All of it.”
Lilith was answering him so honestly. She trusted him enough to be this open? But he wouldn’t throw it back in her face. He’d take her gift and treasure it, share a piece of himself he hadn’t shared with anyone—not even his sister. “I may have helped bring down Freedom and Love, but afterward, when I’d recovered from my hospital stay, I was lost. I didn’t know what to do or how to act, or if I even deserved to be alive after everything I’d seen and allowed.”
How unbelievable to have this conversation in the middle of a hallway at Alliez, but now that he’d started, he wouldn’t stop. “I drifted from place to place. Picked up odd jobs here and there. Spent many a night in some seedy bar drinking, hoping when I woke, things would be different. They never were. All I gotwas a chronic headache and a hangover. When I woke up one morning in a bed in a disgusting motel with a woman I didn’t even remember, I knew things needed to change. ThatIneeded to change. That was when I called Mac, the guy I worked with at the FBI. I swallowed my pride, and I asked for help. Mac told me whatever I needed, he’d get it for me. I’m offering you the same. Whatever you need. Tell me, and I’ll get it for you.”
There was so much more he could tell her. How he’d been to counseling and how that had helped, but that could wait. First, she needed to acknowledge that she needed help. That it wouldn’t be seen as a weakness. Until she made the decision, she wouldn’t heal.
“That’s the thing. I don’t know what I need.”
“You don’t have to decide now. There’s no rush.”
“Of course there is. I need a job, Julian. I need to be able to look after myself. Earn money so I can do the things I want.”
“You’re right, but you have time. That’s all I’m saying.” Julian glanced at his watch and cursed. He was late to the meeting he’d called, and as much as he wanted to stay and talk to Lilith, he needed to go. “Look, I’ve got to get to my meeting, but after, I’d love to take you to lunch.”
Asking her was a risk he was prepared to take.
“Umm, okay.” Her eyes widened as if she’d surprised herself with her answer as much as it surprised him.
“Great. I’ll come grab you when I’ve finished.” Julian leaned forward as if to kiss her on the cheek but pulled back at the last second. If that didn’t get her to change her mind to have lunch with him, he didn’t know what would.
Julian gave her a smile, and then headed toward the conference room, not sure what Lilith was going to do, but hopefully changing her mind about lunch wasn’t part of it.
“Sorry I’m late. Got sidetracked,” he said, as he walked into the conference room and found it full of all the Alliez guys except the one in charge. “Where’s Ox?”
“He’ll be dialing in. He’s at home with Oscar,” Growler said.
“Ahh, okay.” Good. The files he’d placed earlier had been handed around and were open in front of the men. He would bet that one of the guys would’ve already scanned the contents and emailed it to Ox—that was how efficient the team were. “Okay, let’s get started, shall we?”
He sat next to Fox and glanced at the video screen on the wall. Ox’s face appeared, his arms full of his smiling son. “Morning. I’ve read over the file you brought in, Julian. What do you need from us?”
This was why he enjoyed working with Alliez and Ox. The man didn’t beat around the bush, always straight to the point.
“We need to go in as soon as possible. These kids don’t have much time before they’ll be shipped out. We still don’t know who the main player is, but if we can put a stop to this trade, it might make him show his face.” It was highly unlikely, but stranger things had happened.
“Right. Is this a joint venture, or are we going in alone?” Fox questioned.
“Joint, but there is something in the works that will require a covert operation that we’ll need you for.” There were aspects of his job Julian hated, and putting these guys’ lives at risk was one of them. He preferred when there were a team of agents involved in helping Alliez because if something happened, they’d be covered and families compensated. When it was covert, a job the FBI didn’t want to dirty their hands with, then he didn’t like putting these guys' lives on the line. Then again, every person in this room knew that some jobs were riskier than others, and that should shit hit the fan, they would be on their own.
“Whatever you need, you know we’re all in,” Deal responded, and Julian nodded.
They spent the next thirty minutes going over the operation, and when it was going to go down. Once they had a plan in place, the meeting was concluded, and everyone filed out, except Irish, and Julian knew why the other man was hanging back.
They stared at each other for a few moments. Julian was used to this from Irish. He’d experienced it a few times after he first started working with Alliez. The man had been a lot surlier then, but ever since he and Cass had gotten together, he’d mellowed. Although he still carried that hard edge of a former Delta soldier. An edge Julian believed he’d never lose.
“What’s your plan?” Irish eventually asked.
The plan Irish referred to clearly had nothing to do with what they’d discussed. But related to the woman in Cass’s office. The problem was, Julian didn’t have a concrete plan when it came to Lilith. All he knew was that he wanted to help her.
No, it was more than that. No denying he wanted to help her, but he wanted more. He wanted to find out what she liked. What she disliked. He wanted to make to her laugh. To see her eyes widened in happiness when she came across something she’d never seen or experienced before. Like the spark of joy he’d seen in her eye when they’d been at the beach. “My plan is to show her the world. To show her what life can really be like.”