Page 40 of Keeping Lilith

“It was worth asking.”

He leaned forward and pressed his lips softly against hers. A mere fleeting touch. Over before it began, but there was so much emotion in it. “I’m sorry. But if you stay with Cass, you might get a little more information about things.”

“What?” There was a hidden message there, Lilith was sure of it.

“When Alliez is involved in these types of missions, Cass is always involved.”

“You’re saying Cass will break protocol and tell me things I shouldn’t know?” Lilith couldn’t see her friend doing somethingthat unethical. She may not have known Cass for long, but what she’d seen of the computer genius, she was loyal and didn’t seem the type to say things she shouldn’t say.

“No, Cass won’t give anything away, but she’ll give you enough information to know that we’re safe. And when we’re likely to be heading home.”

As much as she’d like to know what was going on and where Julian would be, she didn’t want Cass to be put in an uncomfortable situation where she felt like she had to do something that went against everything she believed in. “No, I won’t do that to her. I think me being in the dark, even if it’s going to be really difficult, is the best thing. I’ll stay home.”

A flash of frustration flitted across Julian’s face before disappearing. “I fucked that up,” he said tiredly. “I want to keep you safe, and so before I fully thought it through, I suggested staying with Cass, knowing full well that she’s always involved, because the team’s safety is important to her. But I do know that she would be okay with you staying with her.”

“I appreciate you wanting to keep me safe. I do. Particularly since my decision making can be sketchy.” She chuckled at her own joke, but when Julian didn’t, she continued. “But I also don’t like that Cass could be put into an uncomfortable situation. I know you meant well, but maybe being on my own is what I need to do. To prove that I have made progress in my life.”

“I can see there’s no point arguing with you. But promise me if things get too overwhelming, that you’ll call Cass.”

Lilith could give Julian this. It was important to him, and even though she said she wanted to be by herself, the very idea freaked her out a little. “I promise. But I won’t expect her to tell me anything. Even if I want to know all about what’s going on.”

Julian laughed. “Deal.”

He closed the gap between them and kissed her. His arms wrapped around her shoulders, and her hands landed on hischest. She loved the steady rhythm of his heartbeat beneath her fingers. It grounded. Gave her the belief that everything would be okay. That she’d be fine when he left her. That nothing would happen to her.

Such fanciful thoughts from a single touch, but for her, it was her truth.

His lips trailed down her neck, and Lilith let her head fall back. Her whole body was alight from the feel of his lips against her flesh. Her body came alive beneath his touch, and she moved closer so she was practically in his lap.

She needed more.

Wanted more.

Wanted to have the freedom to touch Julian all over. To have him touch her all over. She wanted to feel his weight pressed against her body.

She. Wanted. Him.

A buzzing sound filled the air, and she groaned against his mouth. Taking it to the next level would not happen.

“I’m sorry, Lil. I probably need to get this.”

“I know.” She sighed and moved off him so he could get to his phone. She’d lived with him long enough to know that whenever his phone rang, he answered. He may have left the office, but he was never truly off, because that was who Julian had become. He’d become someone who put others' needs in front of his own.

“It doesn’t make me any happier that we had to stop,” he said, while still holding his buzzing phone.

“I know, and I understand.”

He gave her leg a squeeze as he stood and walked over to the window, answering the phone as he went. “Hey, Rose. What’s up?”

Hearing that it was his sister on the phone, she got up to give him privacy so he could talk to her without worrying about heroverhearing. Not that he would ever ask her to leave the room. She just did it because it was the right thing to do.

She walked into the kitchen and put a couple of glasses from the counter into the dishwasher. It hadn’t taken her long to get used to the luxuries of living in a house with running water and electricity—something she planned to never have to do without ever again.

Once the kitchen was tidy, she went over to the small table where the laptop Julian had given her sat. The day he’d turned up with it, she’d stared at him in shock. No one had ever given her something as expensive or wonderful as a laptop. Then again, she’d lived in a cult most of her life where giving gifts wasn’t ever done. She’d attempted to refuse it, saying it was too much, but Julian had convinced her that if she wanted to find a job, she needed it, as most jobs were listed online now.

She was still getting used to it and all that it could do, and she could successfully navigate around the internet in her job-hunting pursuit. Maybe something had been listed since the last time she looked and now.

Lifting the lid, she waited for the machine to wake up. She could hear the low timbre of Julian’s voice as he talked to his sister. She’d discovered that they talked to each other at least once a week, each taking turns on who called whom. During his past calls, he’d usually taken a while. Julian had explained about his past with his sister and all they went through at the hands of their father. It was good that their relationship was getting better.