Page 119 of Falcon's Prey
I had to stop because I couldn’t keep talking from the sobs that were leaving my body. It was painful, and it was raw. It was the acknowledgment that what you felt was real.
“I was your biggest disappointment; I just didn’t know how to make you look at me long enough to feel proud of me… It was easier to pretend like I didn’t care,” I sobbed into his legs, knowing that my end was near.
One last time. I could look at him one last time.
Slowly, I raised my head.
I was a diamond, and diamonds don’t break. But hit them long enough, and they sure as hell cracked.
My father was crying, and that killed me. The man he once had been was now trapped in a body that failed him.
“Daddy…can…you…hold me one last time?” I knew asking the question was useless, but I didn’t it anyways.
Bringing the pills to my lips, I started to swallow them, forcing them to go down past my sobbing and dry throat to the point they felt like they were cutting me. Committing suicide was supposed to be an ultimate sin, but I didn’t think God could be so cruel to not grant me this out.
I laid my head on my dad’s lap, holding on to his hands for strength. “I love you, Da—”
The words failed me as my body started to shake violently. This seemed like the perfect end to Ember Remington, the princess of diamonds, wild party girl who didn’t give a fuck about anyone else. No one would ever know that she loved too deep and cared too much. They say you see life flash before your eyes, but I didn’t see anything as I laid there waiting to die, but I heard it.
A gut-wrenching, soul-crushing yelling of my name.
Then it was all silent.
* * *
Michael
Being trapped in your own body was the equivalent of being buried alive, except you could very much still see. I watched as Silas, the man who was raised as my brother, manhandled my daughter. Looking at her, beaten and bruised, I knew I failed her. In staying away for her protection, I’d lured her into the arms of the person who wanted to harm us all these years.
Everything he’d told her, I already knew. The only reason I wasn’t dead was that he wanted the code to get the Remington Ember out of the vault. I was the only one who had it. My daughter didn’t even know she had the code all along. A bit before the accident, I’d taken out the Ember to get it polished and ready for my daughter to wear on the celebration of her birthday, where I would proceed to hand her the reins to the company. She thought I didn’t see what she did, but how could I not when I loved her more than my own life?
Before Sam was killed, he brought to me his suspicions, and it was thanks to him that I had managed to stay alive, if only to see my daughter safe and sound. God, the things he did to her. I would never forget everything he told me. I felt like the biggest failure. Loving our kids blinds us sometimes. We want to give them everything when all they need is for us to be right there, holding their hands, and I couldn’t remember the last time I’d held my daughter’s.
“Did you miss me, Dad? Or did you barely notice I wasn’t here?”
God, those words killed me.
I wished I hadn’t taken the medication Dr. Wozniak left me for emergencies. I would have happily risked what I was trying to accomplish just so I could tell my daughter I loved her, to beg her to run away through the secret tunnel and leave me behind. Instead, when I heard Silas coming, I injected a neuromuscular-blocking drug, making sure I was paralyzed for when he got here so he could keep believing the ruse. The accident did make me invalid. I would never have use of my legs again, but my cognitive function came with time. I just kept getting drugged when Silas was near so he could think otherwise.
Despite everything, I love you.
My beautiful daughter. I didn’t deserve to be called a father, not after everything she’d suffered because I couldn’t protect her. Watching her get beaten in front of me was hell when I couldn’t do a thing to stop it. I couldn’t move, but I could see, hear, and feel. This was my cross to bear for all the pain I’d caused her.
“Daddy…can…you…hold me one last time?”
When the words left her lips, I panicked. I looked down at her knowing what she intended to do, and I couldn’t do a thing to stop it. I was yelling inside my body, and she couldn’t hear me when she grabbed my hand…fuck. My eyes burned with tears that were too stubborn to come out.
No!I willed my body to move, but the effects of the drugs were too strong.
Baby, don’t!
“I love you, Da—”
The words died on her lips. My little girl was dying in my arms, and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do to stop it. When her body started to convulse, I wanted to die right there with her.
“Ember!”A guttural scream echoed throughout the house.
It came from the second floor. I closed my eyes, praying for a miracle. The emergency tunnel was the only way someone other than Silas and his man could get in here. It’s how Dr. Wozniak had been keeping me company, more than Silas allowed.