Page 113 of Guilty Mothers

‘She was around seven. She didn’t take well to having a sister, Laurie. When she came to the hospital, she sat in silence and wouldn’t look at the baby. I thought it would pass, but it didn’t. She would scream at me to take it back. One time when Laurie was just a few months old, we went to the park, the three of us. When we got back, I left Laurie in her pushchair while she slept.

‘I came out from the kitchen to check on her and the pushchair was gone. I won’t bore you with the details of my panic, but it transpired that Judith had wheeled her to the end of the road and left her there.’

So, Judith had had trouble sharing, Kim thought. Not uncommon in second siblings. Not so strange.

‘I found disturbing pictures she’d drawn, and in every one there was a dead baby.’

‘Did you take her for help?’ Kim asked, noting they were definitely heading in the direction of strange.

‘Of course. I was told that she’d grow out of it. That it was an adjustment at having to share my attention. I tried to believe the experts, but then one day I got a call from the school, saying Judith had spoken to one of the teachers and that as a consequence of that conversation, child services had been called.’

Ellie paused before continuing.

‘Judith had bruises on her arms. She told the teacher it was where I’d grabbed her while smacking her. Obviously, I was horrified, but luckily, I knew where the bruises had come from. My friend had to sign an affidavit that her daughter had the same bruises from a bungee trampoline during a trip to the park a few days earlier.’

‘What would have happened if you hadn’t been able to prove it?’ Kim asked.

‘Who knows. I started keeping a journal of every activity, every accusation. I’m sorry but I’m not going to elaborate further. It’s too painful.’

‘Sexual abuse too?’ Kim asked.

Ellie’s face contorted in pain before nodding. They had now moved from strange to incredibly disturbed.

‘Judith sought emancipation the day she turned sixteen, and I didn’t fight it. Maybe I should have done, but by then she was like a stranger to me. It’s easy to look back and wonder if I could have done more, but at that point I couldn’t even allow myself to be in the same room as her without someone else present. I needed a witness to be around my own daughter. I lived in fear of the next accusation.’

Kim couldn’t even imagine it. She suspected that legal emancipation was probably the best for all concerned.

‘Was that when she changed her name?’ Kim asked.

‘No, Inspector, I changed mine. Pugh is my maiden name, but once she started writing those blogs…’

‘And your other daughter – has she been affected?’

‘You’ll know from the blogs that in Judith’s world, her sister doesn’t even exist. Still, Laurie changed her name by marriage two years ago, and my grandson obviously has his father’s name too.’

The smile that hovered at her lips at the mention of her grandson indicated that she still had family members who brought joy to her life.

She gave her bottom lip a good chew before she spoke again. ‘Is she okay though? Is there anything she needs?’ Obviously, a small pebble of hope existed inside her.

Kim thought of the hate and aggression that had emanated from Judith every time she’d mentioned her mother.

‘No, I think she’s perfectly fine as she is.’ Kim hesitated before asking the next question. ‘I’m sorry to ask this, but in your opinion, is Judith capable of murder?’

The woman instinctively began to shake her head, perhaps thinking of the child Judith had been before her sister had been born.

Then she shrugged as tears filled her eyes. ‘You know, I honestly couldn’t tell you any more. I really don’t know the woman she is now.’

‘Thank you for your honesty,’ Kim said, not feeling at all reassured about the role Judith was playing in advising young women about their relationships with their mothers. Every event she’d used had been a lie, and yet her influence over vulnerable young women had been impressive.

‘Is there anything else I can help with?’ Ellie asked.

‘No. We appreciate the time you’ve given us,’ Kim said, rising from her seat as her phone began to ring.

She nodded at Bryant to say their goodbyes as she headed for the door.

‘Go ahead, Stace.’

‘It’s Katie’s mom, boss.’