Page 49 of Guilty Mothers
‘Seems a natural progression from the emails and the messages.’
‘Or an indication that other people feel as strongly about that abhorrent industry as we do.’
‘So you won’t be too disappointed to learn that she’s decided to wrap up the business?’ Kim asked to gauge her reaction.
‘Yessssss,’ she cried with a fist pump. ‘I’m happy to count that as a win.’ She looked delighted and triumphant.
Kim couldn’t help the irritation that gnawed at her stomach. ‘I don’t think you can take all the credit, but I do think harassment and aggravation on top of the recent loss of her mother may have been a bit much.’
‘Hey, I’m happy to be the straw that broke the camel’s back as long as the camel’s back is broken. Not literally, of course, I love animals, but I’m not going to pretend I’m unhappy that there’s one pageant less in the world. I mean, as a woman, do you have any idea of the damage they do?’
‘Go on,’ Kim said, happy to let her preach. Not only would she discover the depths of the passion but also how far she was willing to go to make her point.
‘Let’s start with the pressure on women to conform to conventional beauty standards – the fashion, make-up, hair styling, cosmetic surgery and diet to the point of starvation. The fact that beauty is scored out of ten. The total objectification and the need to attain perfection.
‘I’m sure you’ll recall that the delightful Donald Trump owned the Miss Universe competition for almost twenty years. He joked about being forced to sleep with every contestant. He also said that when the bathing suits got smaller and the heels got higher, the ratings went up.’
‘So there’s a market for it?’ Kim said.
‘There’s a market for foie gras. Does that make it right to force-feed a goose until its liver explodes? The whole spectacle is debasing. One year, Miss Venezuela was humiliated by being forced to exercise in front of a group of reporters after she gained weight during her reign. Other contestants have lost their titles for putting on a few pounds. You think that’s a healthy industry?’
‘Many professions require sacrifice,’ Kim said, playing devil’s advocate.
Bobbi offered her a look of disgust before continuing. ‘Pageant popularity grows each year. They perpetuate the idea that women are just bodies to be rated from one to ten, that the best we have to offer is our appearance, and if that message is being taught early…’
‘You mean child pageants, like what Carly manages?’
‘They should be outlawed. Do you have any idea of the harm they do?’
Kim thought of Toyah’s enjoyment of the whole process. ‘But isn’t it just dress up?’
Bobbi rolled her eyes in frustration. ‘Dress up is when you put on your mom’s shoes and stagger around her bedroom. Pageants teach little girls they need improvements to their image to compete. We’re talking flippers, hair extensions, acrylic nails, make-up, spray tans. Eventually young girls can feel ugly without all that stuff, and that poor self-image lasts into adulthood. Natural developments like acne and other body changes hit hard.
‘It’s not just dress up having little girls being sexualised for attention. The kids are being taught to act older. It’s obscene to teach a six-year-old to pose like a model in her twenties.
‘One pageant had a child smoking a fake cigarette, another was dressed as a prostitute, another wore fake breasts. If you’re not horrified by these things, then there’s nothing I can tell you.’
‘You’re saying pageants damage every child who takes part?’ Kim asked.
‘Who knows? All I know is that it isn’t healthy to wax and thread a child’s facial and body hair to give them a glowing appearance on stage. These kids learn that they gain attention and status when being sexualised and that their sexuality is a means to an end. It doesn’t take a genius to work out that it can lead to premature sexual activity.’
‘Don’t they also give kids confidence?’ Kim asked, remembering Toyah’s words.
‘Many parents believe the pageants boost their kid’s self-esteem, but data shows that later problems include depression, low self-esteem and eating disorders.’
‘We’ve spoken to girls who loved it,’ Kim defended.
‘They’re either the exception or they’re liars. In 2013, France became the first country to ban child pageants for the under thirteens. You have to understand that it takes hours and hours of learning how to pose, walk straight and fake smile. Most of these pageants are more for the parent than the child.’
‘Doesn’t that translate though?’ Kim asked, again thinking of Toyah. ‘If it’s just a bit of fun for the mom, won’t that carry down to the child?’
‘The beliefs the pageants create become ingrained in the child. Kids feel as if they’ve let their parents down if they don’t win. Ultimately, you’re still transforming a typical child into a desirable woman. The sexualisation of children is a contributing factor in reports of kids being sexually abused. It’s a foul industry that is hyper fixated on achieving professional adult aesthetics at a young age. Sexuality is imposed by parents without consent.’
‘So, what are you campaigning for?’ Bryant asked.
‘A total ban on beauty pageants. Never gonna happen, but it won’t stop us trying. Failing that, remove the beauty standards, end the sexualisation. As a start, Miss Teen USA replaced swimsuit with athletic wear. It’s a step in the right direction, but much more needs to be done.’
‘And your methods?’ Kim asked, thinking about Carly having been driven out of business.