Page 74 of Corrupt Game
The things she made me want to do to her. I was losing patience with this game of tit for tat. She just needed to ask me to have sex with her.
She’d accused me of delaying things, and maybe she was right. If I could delay having actual sex with her, then I would be able to remain in control. That’s what I’d been telling myself for days.
I was afraid for the first time in my life. True fear. Not to my body, or mind, but emotionally. If I let her in and actually had sex with her, then I would let my walls down. She would own me instead of me owning her.
Then what would become of me? What about my much needed control? Would I hurt her like my father hurt my mother?
All of the others before her had managed to stay in their place. I had experienced fun and gotten my jollies taken care of, but none of them had even come near to scaling the walls I had in place.
She was the entire package. Brains, body, and a willingness to do what she was asked. The only thing she had asked for was an explanation, and I hadn’t given her one.
What if I broke my rules just this once? What if I asked her to have sex with me instead? Could it hurt to get her consent in a different manner?
This was getting so out of hand. I wasn’t sure how much more I could take, and I felt that she might be at the same point. The longest time I’d gone with an assistant without having sex, it was bordering on insane.
I groaned and stood. The erection scraping against the zipper in my pants was slightly painful and erotic.
It was getting late. If Rossi had followed my directions, then she was on her way back to the cabin basement right now.
When she was at work, I didn’t feed her. It was one reason I’d had Rossi bring her dinner tonight. I couldn’t stand the thought of sitting next to her on the couch. My need to have her was getting worse.
Work was suffering because I was more concerned with sneaking peeks of her working. When I wasn’t in the room, she would concentrate and did amazing work.
It was time to drive home and tell her a bedtime story.
What she did with it was up to her? After all, it was her choice, wasn’t it?
Chapter 24: Collette
Even though every part of my body was humming with sexual tension, I lowered myself to the bed, but did nothing to take care of it. The satisfaction I’d need, I couldn’t provide it.
He had regaled me with another tale of how it was going to be when we got together.
Hot, intense sex that had drawn me in until I was ready to combust. There wasn’t an easy way to come down from that type of stimulation. All without one single touch.
Deep breaths in a calming manner were the only thing I had going for me.
I focused on the ceiling and how many tiles were there. It would have been easier if I could have seen them, but I had to work from memory.
It was a trick Andy and I established when things hadn’t gone our way.
Picture a room, close your eyes and then begin to describe it. The other person had to then grade you on each item that they remember as well. It wasn’t a full proof method to memorize a room, but it made me pay more attention to my surroundings.
My thoughts returned back to Andy. Even though my outburst had taken more energy than I thought, this was exactly the memory to bring me back to my goal.
Thoughts of Andy from when I was back in the foster home fluttered through my mind. The memories of why he was so important to me.
Where I first met him, I had just turned twelve. My period had started in my last foster home, when the place turned really bad really fast. The parents had an older biological son, who lived out on the back of the property in an apartment over the garage.
One day, he noticed I had started my period. He must have been laser focused on us girls because he’d explained what was happening to me. My foster mother should have been the one to tell me what was going on and how that would change my life.
He simply told me that I was a woman now. I would have to do womanly things. At the age of twenty-seven, it seemed like he knew what he was talking about. He had given me pads and taken such good care of me that first time that I trusted him. Somebody was putting me first for once.
Those first couple of days after my period ended, Brian had asked me to come over to the garage apartment because he had something fun for me.
Mostly, it was the other children that I feared, he had helped me and was an adult so I didn’t think to be afraid or worried about the consequences. When I had joined him, he wanted to play house.
That was how he put it, which really meant that I would take care of him in a sexual manner and service all his needs as a wife would.