Page 71 of See It Through
My sigh was long and heavy. Remi reached for my leg, taking his spot just above my knee.
“You okay?”
“I am.” I let my fingers trail between the bones in his hand like railroad tracks. “So, that was my ex. I’m sorry you had to meet him.”
He chuffed and flipped his hand over to capture mine. “No skin off my back. Only thing I regret is not shutting him down before you came back and had to hear him running his mouth.”
“I’ve heard it all before from him.” I puffed up my cheeks, blowing out a long breath. “I had this friend, Sarah. We weren’t besties, but I’d hung around with her since high school. When I got with Watt, she kept telling me rodeo guys weren’t loyal. It wasn’t in their nature. I brushed her off, fancying myself inlove.”
I let my head fall against the cool window, and Remi squeezed my hand, showing me he was listening.
“Then Graham got sick and needed more of my time. Of course, he didn’t ask for it, but I wanted to be there for him. I admit I asked Watt for support. The prognosis hadn’t been good, and I’d been falling apart a little. Maybe I leaned on him too hard, I don’t know.”
Remi grumbled, his fingers tensing slightly. Otherwise, he remained quiet, concentrating on the road in front of us.
“One night, Graham forced me out of the house so I could go watch Watt ride. I didn’t tell him I was coming, wanting to surprise him, and walked into the locker room to Sarah blowing him.”
“Fuck,” Remi snapped. “Fucking idiots.”
“Yeah. Sarah apologized but basically said I told you so.” I scoffed at the memory. Sarah had definitely told me, then she’d given me a live and in-person demonstration of just how right she’d been. Of course, she could’ve mentioned she wouldn’t have known what loyalty was if it had slapped her in the face, but that was neither here nor there. “And Watt…well, he’d tried to get me to forgive him, but when it became clear my interest in him had ceased the second I saw his dick in my friend’s mouth, he turned it all around. Said I’d driven him away by clinging too hard and making him uncomfortable telling him I loved him all the time. Said I talked too much, asked for too much attention, spent too much time with my family, wanted too much sex…I wastoo much. He wasn’t the first person to say that sort of thing to me, so it’s probably true, but he was a nasty bastard about it. His ego is too big for him to be the villain, so he laid the blame on me. As if my personality deficiencies had guided his dick into Sarah’s mouth.”
For a while, Remi didn’t say anything. I didn’t know what I wanted himtosay, but the quiet after I’d finished explaining the details of my sordid relationship was deafening.
Silly me, I felt the need to wipe away the discomfort between us. “Anyway, it’s not a big deal. I’m over him, and I haven’t spoken to Sarah since. The only thing I have left from that relationship is a boatload of trust issues, but th—”
“Hannah,” he gritted out, “I’m glad you’re over him. He isn’t good enough to be the dirt under your boots. And he lied to you, sweetheart, along with whoever else told you you’re too much. It’s a deficiency in them. They don’t know how to handle a strong woman with a big personality. It’s not anything wrong with you.”
I sucked in a sharp breath. “I don’t know if that’s true…”
“It is. Think about your family. They get you. They adore you. None of them have ever tried to change you, have they?”
A lump balled in my throat. “No. But they have to love me.”
“What about Graham? Did he have to love you? Take you under his wing? Spend all his days with you?”
“I…well, no.” I could still hear him laughing at me when I went on one of my rants, or he caught me dancing around his kitchen or singing to the horses. “I don’t think I’m too much for everyone, Rem. I don’t hate myself or anything like that. I’ve accepted this is who I am. But I get I’m not everyone’s cup of tea.”
“You don’t need everyone to like you, Hannah. Just the important ones.”
“And…you like me, don’t you?” I wanted to slap my fool mouth as soon as the question snuck out. What the hell was I—
“Of course I do. If you need to ask, I’d best do a better job showing you.”
“Oh.” I sunk into my seat, a silly little smile spreading across my face. It was a good thing the cab was dark and Remi couldn’t see me. I’d already embarrassed myself enough for one night. “I like you too, Remi.”
“Good to know, sweetheart.”
He said it like he truly meant it, and more than anything, I wanted to believe him.
I must’ve dozed off because the next thing I knew, the truck had come to a stop and Remi was unbuckling my seat belt. I glanced around his hazy eyes, surprised to see the house and not my apartment.
“You forgot to take me home,” I croaked.
“Oops.” He pulled me out of the truck, his arm around my waist, guiding me to the porch. “Guess you’ll have to spend the night with me.”
Butterflies launched in my stomach. After the heaviness of earlier, I was surprised he didn’t want a break from me and more than a little pleased to be wrong.
I laid my head on his shoulder, my smile kept secret under the cover of darkness. “I guess so.”