Page 86 of Resist

Maddie studies me the whole time she’s gone, but stays quiet, respecting my silence and space. One of the many, many reasons I love her.

Phoenix hands out mugs, takes up her former place next to me on the couch, and gives me a firm nod. “Whenever you’re ready, Coco.”

That’s all they say, neither badgers me to speak again. They just sit and drink their drinks in the quiet.

I’m not sure where my thoughts are. But when I eventually open my mouth to talk, my hands are still shaking so I set down my untouched mug of coffee and clasp them on my lap.

“Sterling says my dad r-r-r...” I can’t finish the word. I can’t force it from inside my body. I can’t give it power. I swallow and try again. “He claims Dad raped his mom.”

Phoenix gasps, which says a lot because it’s hard to surprise her, but Maddie remains quiet.

“I don’t know why he’d make up such awful lies about Dad. I guess he sees dollar signs over the Blackwell Publishing logo and figures he can squeeze money from us to stay quiet to save our reputation or something. I don’t know.” The words fall more freely now from my mouth, no amount of wishing can cram them back inside into the darkness where they belong.

Phoenix puts down her cup before picking up my hand. I’m not used to this level of physical touch from her, Maddie’s the hugger of the group. “I don’t know what to say, Cor. I’m sorry. I had no idea he had such nefarious intentions. If I did, I wouldn’t have let him get anywhere near you.”

Maddie shifts her weight like she’s uncomfortable, she won’t look me in the eye, and she’s still quiet. Like I said, she’s the hugger. There’s a reason she hasn’t thrown her arms around me and crushed me with her love.

“Madz?”

Her bottom lip trembles, her eyes fill with unshed tears, and she still can’t look at me.

Phoenix senses something is off as well, she doesn’t drop my hands, but she does turn her attention to our now crying friend.

“I’m sorry.” Maddie’s head is bent low, and her voice is quiet. “But I believe Sterling.”

Incandescent rage surges through me but Phoenix runs interference between myself and Maddie so I don’t launch myself at her and pull out clumps of her hair for the scurrilous lies about my father she’s propagating.

“Wait. Waiiiiit. Hear her out, Cora. She’s clearly upset about something, too.” Voice of reason, Phoenix holds her hand out in front of me, if she thinks that’s going to help me simmer down, she’s wrong.

I perch at the edge of the sofa cushion, nervous energy preventing me from settling back into the chair. But I gesture at Maddie to continue.

“He touched me, Cora. Years ago. He tried to force himself on me, and when I fought back he threatened me. He told me no one would believe the word of a college kid who dressed like a cheap hooker.”

My blood runs colder and colder with each word that comes out of my best friend’s mouth. “Maddie,” her name comes out on a gasp.

“You never said anything.” Foxy is every bit as aghast as I am. I’m glad I’m not the only one who didn’t know about this. Phoenix stares at Maddie. “But I noticed you never came over to Cora’s house when we met there. I didn’t think anything of it, I figured you just didn’t want to drive across town.”

Maddie shakes her head which makes heavy tears drop from her face. “I didn’t tell you because I was afraid. Scared you wouldn’t believe me, scared I would lose you, both of you, scared he’d follow through on silencing me. It felt better to just bury it, avoid him, and hope it never came to anything ever again.”

Phoenix whistles through her teeth. “Wow.” She leans forward and pulls Maddie into a huge hug. “I believe you, I love you, and you’re never losing me. I’m so sorry that happened to you.”

I shake my head. This can’t be. My ears are ringing. She can’t be talking about my dad. The man who raised me after mom died, the man who read me bedtime stories with all the voices every single night without fail, the man who warned my dates not to hurt me or he’d hurt them, the man who I idolized for my whole, entire fucking life.

My heart is ready to thump a hole in my ribcage.

She can’t.

This has to be some kind of a bad dream.

I stand up, walk around the couch, and pace back and forward, wringing my hands together. She can’t be talking about Dad. If she’s talking about Dad,myfather... that means he’s not the man I believed him to be, that means Sterling might not have been lying either.

Fuck.

The room spins as oxygen leaves my body. Lightheaded and ignoring the concerned protests of my friends, I stumble into the bathroom I just scrubbed until my hands were damn near bleeding.

I fall to the floor in front of the toilet, and I puke.

CHAPTER 34