Page 90 of Resist
Phoenix rolls her lips like she’s fighting a laugh. Maddie’s usually the sweet one of the group so seeing her claws come out is mildly concerning. I’m glad she has a therapist. I need to make sure she’s got an appointment on the books to help support her through this, because I’m clueless as to how to go about it. Especially considering my father is the cause of so much of her pain.
Michael plays with his facial hair, guessing that’s a nervous thing, too. He looks at me with what I think is fear in his eyes. I’ve never seen him afraid before. And his shoulders sag. “How is this going to go?”
We spend the next two hours combing through his meticulous records. He kept a list of every member of staff he and my father were inappropriate with, how much they paid to the moreproblematicvictims. The ledger literally says problematic staff members next to the names. It’s sickening.
I’m not sure why he kept records like this, especially since they implicate him as well. Maybe he thought he could use itto blackmail Dad if their relationship disintegrated. My stomach stirs, maybe he already used it to blackmail him.
Fuck.
I rake my hands through my hair as he closes the door to the conference room to clear out his office.
He swears it was just the two of them, but I’m not sure I can trust the rest of Dad’sadvisorseither way. And I sure as hell don’t want his name over the door to this place anymore.
I need a fucking shower. I want the water so hot it peels my skin off because I feel dirty. I feel dirty and ashamed and disgusted and destroyed.
It’s not even lunchtime but I’m done. I can’t function anymore today. I can’t find the strength inside my body to adult and run a publishing company I used to adore that was ‘gifted’ to me by a man I used to adore.
There’s a very real chance I’m going to need to go back to therapy about this.
There’s a soft knock at the door. “Come in, Georgia.” I’ve been gone for longer than I said I would. Georgia’s probably going out of her mind.
Except it’s not Georgia who walks into the room. It’s Sterling’s mom.
There’s a collective gasp as she steps into the office, my friends looking to each other, to me, then back to Mrs. Montgomery with wide eyes.
She holds up her hands. “I’m not here to cause trouble. I’m here to apologize for my son being an idiot.”
Phoenix grins. “He can’t help it, he has a penis.”
That breaks the ice a little, and we all share a laugh.
“I had no idea that he’d put that ridiculous plan for vengeance in play, Cora.” She’s walked the length of the room and drops onto the chair Michael was sitting on right next to me.
She takes my hand in hers. “In hindsight, I should haveseen it coming. He’s always been protective of me and after...” Her jaw quivers. “Well, things kind of went to shit during his childhood, and I guess he felt like we were all owed some retribution.”
There’s a lump so big in my throat I’m not sure I can squeak words out around it. All I can do is stare at her.
“I’m sorry you found out that way. I’m sorry he was using you to hurt your father, your company, and by extension, you.”
I hold up a hand. “Mrs. Montgomery, you don’t need to apologize to me for Sterling’s behavior. I understand why he did what he did. I understand his anger as well. I do.” I press at my chest trying to quell my own rage and pain. Tears stream down my face before I can take another breath. “I should be the one to apologize, for my father, for what he did to you.”
She shakes her head. “You aren’t your father. You didn’t know what he did to me, or to anyone else.” She reaches forward, brushing my hair out of my face just like Sterling, and it makes my heart constrict even more. “You must feel so angry, so betrayed.”
I nod, but can’t answer. “He hurt so many women.” My voice is a fractured whisper. “Did he hurt Mom? I don’t know. I’ll never know, not for sure. I can’t ask her. Or him. And it’s not the same, not nearly the same as how he hurt you, but now he’s hurt me too. He was my hero.”
She pulls me against her shoulder and holds me while I sob until my lungs burn, and my eyes sting. She pats and rubs my back while she murmurs at me to let it out. She tells me she’s there for me, that I’m not alone, that my feelings are valid, and when my throat is scratchy and raw, my eyes puffy, and my whole body aches from the release of emotion, she cups my cheek with her palm.
“Sterling did it all wrong, but he did it out of love for me.” Her own tearful smile is soft. “He may keep doing it all wrong,too. Sometimes people are dumb. His sister and I told him to talk to you, but I’m not sure he’s going to reach out.”
“I kicked him out, yelled at him pretty good. He still wants to talk to me?”
She nods, her sad eyes glistening. “More than he wants to talk to anyone else in the world, Cora.” She stays another few minutes before leaving as quietly as she arrived. I stand up from my office chair.
“Where are we going?” Phoenix and Maddie are on their feet, too. They’re not letting me go through a single piece of this by myself.
“Out.” I don’t have a more specific answer yet, but I do make sure to pass Sterling’s office on our way out.
It’s empty, the lights are off, and the urge to reach out to him stirs strong feelings in my gut. We need to talk, I know that much, but I have no idea what to say.