Page 14 of Torn

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Page 14 of Torn

“Direction?” she asks as we walk down the trail. “What do you need direction for? You have the business and the rescue. You have your house and your bikes. Your life is together.”

“It’s not as together as you think. Maybe I want what you want.”

“A wife and kids? You?” She says it like it’s the most shocking thing she’s ever heard.

“Yeah. Why is that so hard to believe?”

She looks down at the trail as we walk. “I don’t know. Not hard to believe, really. But if you had those things, you wouldn’t have been around as much. I can’t even imagine that. I guess I always thoughtwewere your family.” She stumbles on a rock and grabs on to my hand. “I never knew you wanted more.”

I squeeze her hand in mine. “Surprise. I did. Ido.”

“Well, then you should get it. Your wishes should come true, too. Not just mine.”

“Yeah, maybe someday.” I sigh and look around the woods. I’m not sure that’s ever going to happen for me.

“So how come you never married Sydni? Or got more seriously involved with any of the other girls you’ve dated?”

“I have a hard time committing.”

Her face flashes a look of distaste. “You mean you’re a cheater? That’s awful.”

“No, I’m not a cheater, Kenz. I’m just waiting for the one who makes me feel like forever wouldn’t be long enough.”

“And you’ve never felt like that? Not even with Sydni?” She swats a bug out of her face. “Maybe that feeling just doesn’t exist.”

“I think it exists. I just think sometimes fate fucks it all up for us.”

“Like what happened to my parents?”

“Exactly. Your parents had everything. And fate fucked themhard. I don’t know what’s worse—never finding the one or finding them and then fuckin’ losing them.”

Her teeth work her bottom lip as she thinks that over. “I think losing them is worse than never knowing them at all.”

“You might be right. Anyway, after a few months of dating, women start to want more. They start gawking at rings in the mall, talking about kids, moving their shit into my closet. And then I back off ’cause I don’t want to lead them on, ya know? I don’t want them to think something’s there that might not be. But I don’t want to lose them, either. I just never felt like I was ready to take the dive into more than just dating. Then, when they sense that, they get all fuckin’ pissed off, call me an asshole, and it’s all downhill from there, Angelcake.”

She sighs and doesn’t speak for a few moments as we walk along the trail. “You paint a grim picture, Tor. But I think your forever girl is out there. You just have to find her.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence.”

“Remember when I was little I used to tell everyone I was going to marry you?”

“Yup. It’s the first thing you told every girlfriend I had.”

Her hand covers her mouth as she laughs, her cheeks turning pink. “Oh shit. I’m sorry, Tor. I was a pain in the ass, huh?”

I wink at her affectionately. “Kinda. At least you don’t do that now.”

“Maybe next time you bring a girl over I’ll do it just to make you laugh and see the look on her face,” she teases.

I don’t say anything, because a part of me wants her to do just that. It was nice to have a girl stake a claim on me and be all prepared to go to battle for my heart. Even if she was only five.

CHAPTER 3

Kenzi—age four

Toren—age nineteen

I put on one of my old Elvis CDs while I boil water for ravioli. It’s one of the few things Kenzi will eat since she’s going through a weird picky eating phase.




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