Page 28 of Torn

And I’m not sure I wouldn’t like it.

CHAPTER 5

Kenzi—age five

Toren—age twenty

“Can we do anything for you, bro?” Asher asks.

I shake my head. “No… I just needed to get away from my family.”

He puts his hand on my shoulder and squeezes. “Understood. Anything you need, just let us know.”

“Thanks.”

Ember stands in front of me, concern all over her face. “Tor, please sit. You look like you’re going to drop.” Dazed, I sit in the chair I always sit in, and she kneels in front of me and pulls off my shoes. “Ash, honey, go get him some water.” She smiles up at me as he goes off to the kitchen. “You just need to rest. It’s been a long few days; you’re exhausted and mentally drained.”

Ash comes back with a glass of water and hands it to me. “It’s okay to let yourself grieve, Tor. You’ve been like a fucking rock since it happened.”

“My family needs me to be strong for them. I can’t fall apart.”

“I get that, man. But you need to let yourself feel. Cry if you have to. You’re safe here with us, you know that. You can act all tough in front of them, but here you don’t have to.”

I sip my water slowly. I’m afraid to fall apart. I’m afraid I’ll never go back together again.

“We love you,” Ember says, having no idea how much her words are killing me.

“I know.”

“We’re gonna go in the other room and leave you alone for a while. Just yell if you need us.”

“Thanks… for everything you guys have done for me and my family.”

“Tor, don’t thank us. You’re our best friend. We’d do anything for you.”

Closing my eyes, I nod.

A small hand touches mine, and I open my eyes to see Kenzi standing next to the chair, a tiny mirror image of her parents, watching me with grave concern.

Ember tries to pull her away. “Come on, Kenzi, it’s time for bed. Uncle Tor needs some time alone.”

“No…” She climbs up onto my lap and hugs me. “He can’t be alone, Mommy.”

Asher reaches for her but I stop him. “She can stay. I don’t mind.”

Ember sighs. “All right, but if she bugs you, just yell down the hall and I’ll come get her.”

“I will.”

I put my glass on the table next to the chair and put my arm around her, comforted by her closeness.

“Uncle Tor?” she whispers when her parents are gone.

“Yeah?”

“Your daddy went to heaven?”

I take a deep breath. “That’s right, Angel. He did.”