Page 58 of Whiskey & Honey

This entire night is completely out of my comfort zone. I am not this girl, never have been. Not even in relationships. Nope, I am not bold and I sure as hell have never climbed up on a man and straddled him. I was being honest when I said I should feel uncomfortable and shy. That’s normally how I feel with men. Uncomfortable, insecure, shy, and out of my league. With Ben I feel confident and bold. He makes me want to step outside of my comfort zone.

Taking his hand, I lead him into my bedroom. I don’t bother with light and am grateful my blinds are slightly open, letting in some moonlight. Regardless of how bold I felt walking in here, I suddenly feel very self-conscious and aware of the fact that I am asking Bentley James Sullivan to have sex with me.

I know he can sense the shift in my confidence because just as I’m about to tell him I can’t do this, he steps toward me and pulls me into a hug. Not a sensual kiss, a hug.

“Hey, relax. There is no pressure here.”

So few words with so much meaning. I melt into his embrace and welcome his warmth. He smells really good. I should know his smell better than my own since I spent the morning snuggling, in a non-creepy fashion, the pillow he used last night. I pull back from him and look up at him as he does his thing with my hair. I’ve grown accustomed to his need to keep hair out of my face and offer him a smile as a thank you.

“Before you start thinking again, I want you to know we are not going to have sex.”

Say what? We aren’t? Why not? Because he doesn’t want that with me. Obviously.

“Nope, you don’t get to go there,” he says, cupping my face in his hands, one on either side of my cheek, and tilting my head up to look at him.

“I see your mind working a million miles a minute. We are not having sex because you aren’t ready. Truthfully, I don’t think I’m ready for that. I know for a fact the minute I have you it’s game over and I’ll be all in. Tonight, I just want to be with you,” he continues, moving his hand so he’s threading my hair with his fingers and slightly tugging me so that my neck is exposed.

I swallow the lump forming in my throat as a sense of relief comes to the surface. I am so not ready for sex with Ben. I’m already half in love with this man and if I sleep with him I’ll fall so hard I don’t know that I’ll ever recover. Instead of kissing me like I expect, he brings his mouth close to my ear.

“I want to hold you.” Each word he says sends shivers down my spine in anticipation as he continues, “And kiss you.” His soft kisses along my jaw line have me gripping his forearms in an effort to keep myself upright.

“I’m going to kiss you now, Piper, and then I’m going to take this dress off of you.” Oh dear Lord. My breaths are quick in succession and my eyes close instinctively as his lips touch mine. Loosening my grip on his forearms, my hands find their way up and around his neck. I give myself over to the kiss just as my zipper is lowered and my dress pools at our feet. He spins me and begins walking us toward my bed.

As my knees connect with the edge of the bed, I tug at the hem of his shirt. “Off.” He complies and with one hand pulls his shirt off. My breath catches again at the sight of him. I feel myself falling. Literally and figuratively. I open my eyes to find Ben over me. The intensity in his eyes causes me to gasp. Not in fear but in awe. Something changes in this moment; I finally see the man who has haunted my dreams all these years.

The man I have known was coming for me and would be the one. I search for something, anything to tell me what is happening. His arms have him braced so that he’s hovering just above me, our breaths mingling because we are so close, and his heart beating in time with mine. My legs instinctively fall open so he is hitting me in just the right spot.

Nothing separates us but a few layers of clothing and I want nothing more than to rip those pieces away. I want him inside me. I need him inside me.

“God, Piper,” Ben sighs. His sigh is hard to distinguish. It feels like acceptance but sounds slightly like frustration. The latter thought has me tensing slightly. “Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?”

I shake my head in response. “So beautiful you not only take my breath away but render me speechless. There are no words in the human vocabulary to fully express the way you make me feel.”

“Show me,” I say in a voice I hardly recognize.

His response is only a growl and then his lips are on mine. This kiss is different than those before. Something has shifted between us. Not just Ben shifting between my legs and sending my body into a frenzy. The friction between his jeans and the silk of my panties has me humming from the inside out.

As Ben increases the intensity of the kiss, my hands come up to his sides and I feel him shiver slightly. I love that he reacts to me this way and I begin taking control of the kiss. An animalistic growl comes from the back of his throat. My heart is beating in rhythm with his and we are in sync, our movements like a dance. His hand finds its way between us. The moment his hand reaches the band of my panties he pulls away from the kiss to look in my eyes. He’s searching for permission. Permission I grant.

I push up on my elbows and reach behind to unfasten my bra before tossing it aside. Ben’s eyes bulge like a cartoon character and that causes me to giggle. He smiles a smile that, if I couldn’t feel the silk, would have me believing had just melted my panties.

I lay back down so my head is on the pillow and run my hands down my torso and watch as he visibly swallows. This reaction has me smiling like I have a secret. My hands rest on his waistband and begin to undo the button before his hand stops me.

“Don’t. I meant what I said, we aren’t ready.”

I suppose he’s right. I may agree but I don’t have to like it. Ben only allows me those quick thoughts before he has me lost in the moment. His lips feel like butterflies fluttering against my skin as he makes his way from my lips to my neck. His fingers grace my breasts with gentle caresses and slight tugs at my nipples. My breath is catching with each tug.

His lips replace his fingers on my breasts. Ben stiffens his tongue and teases my right nipple. With each stroke I feel the warmth soar through me. Arching my back, I beg for more without words. He gives me what I want when his fingers pull my panties to the side and he sinks a finger in me. Tugging my nipple with his lips, the dual sensations have me quickly approaching my release. Just as I am about to verbalize this, Ben removes his finger from me. The loss is immediate.

I’m gathering my wits when Ben pulls back so he’s resting on his knees. I open my eyes and instinctively raise my hands over my head. His sly grin sends my heart a flutter. I return the grin as he releases a growl from deep in his throat. Laying a series of kisses across my abdomen and to my hip, I know where he’s headed. This is unknown territory for me. I’ve been intimate and had sex. Sadly, I’m realizing until this moment none of the men in my life before Ben have ever made it about me. Equally, I’ve never been with a man who I’ve cared was selfish in bed.

The moment he pulls my panties to the side and his tongue makes contact with my most intimate skin, I feel my orgasm building. The heat is overwhelming and instinctively I attempt to close my legs. Ben nudges my knees apart with his shoulders and moans his approval of what is happening. The vibration of his moan increases the intensity of the buildup. With a mind of their own, my hands find their way to his head, slightly tugging at his hair as my own moans fill the room. His tongue is doing astounding things as he adds his fingers to the mix. The intensity of each lick stronger than the next and I feel like I am outside of my body looking down at us.

I’ve never been vocal during sex, but like everything else with Ben, I am now. Incoherent words flow out of my mouth as I struggle to maintain a steady stream of breaths. The moment I say his name the orgasm floods me. Like an erupting volcano I’m shaking and have replaced my grip from his hair to the comforter.

As I get my bearings, Ben removes himself from between my legs and kisses his way up to my face. This time I don’t wait for him to move my hair. Once the blanket of auburn is no longer blocking my vision I look up to the most handsome face on the planet Earth.

“I could do that every single day for the rest of my life and never tire of it.”