Page 65 of Whiskey & Honey
Mornings have easily become my favorite part of the day. The moments before Ben opens his eyes are quiet and peaceful. The little twitches his eyes make the seconds before the alarm sounds are adorable and endearing. I’ve never asked him what he dreams of but whatever it is, he’s happy.
“Are you staring at me again?”
“Nope.” I totally am. “You’re asleep anyway, how would you know if I was?”
Wrapping his hand around my waist, Ben pulls me to him and smiles while never opening his eyes. I smack at him because he knows I freak out about morning breath. He can tell me every single day that he doesn’t care and I’ll argue the fact. Sadly, I’m a sucker for his kisses so I let him kiss me before I squirm away.
I quickly get out of bed before he can get his hands on me again and begin pulling my clothes out of the closet. I turn with a skirt in my hands and am momentarily stunned. Propped up on one arm, shirtless, with the sheet low on his waist, he is breathtaking. His messy hair and beard send my hormones into a tailspin.
“I know you’re staring at me when you think I’m asleep because I do the same thing to you. I watch your lips curve into a smile while you purr and wonder what I am doing to you in your dreams to make you sound like that.”
There is no way I’m going to tell him the kind of dreams I have of him. It has been fifteen days, twelve hours, and fourteen minutes since Ben appeared at my door holding flowers, wine, and a pizza. He has slept in this bed with me every night since that night. And, he has refused to have sex with me. Sure, there have been sexy times, but the real deal? None. He insists on waiting until I’m ready. I’ve bartered and begged to no avail.
It has also been just as long since I fell completely one-hundred percent in love with Bentley Sullivan. That’s not true, I was more than halfway in love with him by the time I was fourteen. But now, the man he is today and the woman he encourages me to be, all in. Of course I won’t tell him that. Heck no.
I begin pulling on a pair of leggings to wear under my skirt and decide to tease Ben a little. “Oh, I’m not dreaming of you. Usually my morning dreams star Zac Efron. Sorry, pal.” I’m laughing as I turn toward the bathroom to finish getting dressed when I hear him cursing under his breath and damning poor Zac Efron.
This is how our mornings are. Easy, natural, and filled with laughter. Anyone looking in from the outside would think I’m crazy for not committing to this man. I love spending time with Ben and he makes me feel good. Here, at home, without any outside interference. The unknown of what will happen if and when we tell people, especially Ashton, is what is holding me back. I also have a lingering doubt that he really wants to be with me. That at some point he’s going to realize he can do so much better than his kid sister’s best friend.
While I’m brushing my teeth I hear him in the kitchen starting the coffee and muttering to himself. I’ve surely ruined any chances of us watching a movie with Zac Efron in the near future. Whoops.
It doesn’t take me long to get ready for a day with a room of five-year-olds, and once I’m ready I walk into the kitchen, where Ben is rapidly texting on his phone.
“Bathroom’s yours. Do you want some eggs for breakfast?” I ask him. Curious who he’s texting at this hour, I don’t inquire, only wonder.
“Sure. I’ll be quick. You look nice,” he says as he kisses me and walks down the hall.
Just as I finish whipping the eggs to put in the pan there’s a knock on my door. A quick glance at the clock worries me. It’s that feeling like when the phone rings at three in the morning. Fear. I turn off the burner and wipe my hands as I cautiously walk to answer the door. I know it’s irrational but I feel like if I take my time getting there, it won’t be bad news on the other side.
I open the door and my first instinct is relief. Which is then immediately followed by dread. I almost wish for the fear feelings again.
“Baby girl! I hoped I’d catch you before you left for work.”
“Mama, what are you doing here?” I ask as my mother walks past me like I’m not standing there stunned. I watch as she drops her bag next to the couch and assesses the apartment before turning to me, arms open for a hug.
“Sweetie, I’ve missed you. Come give me a hug.”
I reluctantly comply. When Tessa is gone for more than a week she acts as if it’s been years since we’ve seen each other. In this case it has been months, but it isn’t as if we haven’t talked and Skyped.
“So, Mama, what are you doing here? I thought you were doing well in Chicago.”
“Oh I am. I love it and Michael is wonderful. I just wanted to come see you. Can’t a mother want to see her daughter?”
I roll my eyes and walk back into the kitchen to finish making breakfast. Mama follows me and pours herself a cup of coffee. I hear the shower turn off and stiffen at the realization that she heard it too. Crap.
“Piper, is someone here? Oh no, did I interrupt you? Is it Tony? Did you two work things out?”
“First of all, rapid-fire questions are annoying. Second, no I did not get back together with Tony. Why do you keep asking me that? He cheated, Mother.”
“Yes, well, you don’t actually know that he cheated. You may have nipped that before anything happened. Tony isn’t a bad guy, Piper. You loved him and he has a good job. You could do worse. Besides, you aren’t getting any younger. You can’t really be choosy at this point, now can you?”
“Look, I have to leave for work soon. I am not going to get into this with you again but, for the record, I was never in love with Tony.”
“Of course you loved Tony. You two were together over a year. Besides…”
She doesn’t get to finish her sentence because just as she’s about to go into the lengthy list of all the reasons I should forgive Tony and beg for him to take me back, Ben walks in the room. Wearing nothing but a pair of jeans, he’s towel drying his hair. I think my ovaries just exploded.
“Baby, do you know where my clippers are?”