Page 68 of Chasing Mr. Prefect
“Dad, I haven’t changed,” I tried to defend myself but that sounded pathetic even to my own ears.
“I have nothing against Cholo. In fact, I am proud of what you have been doing since you started working with him. But don’t you think you have to take your own initiatives? He’s helping you out but you will have to help yourself, too. You will need to draw that line, Vinnie. You can’t let others take charge of your life for you or assume that what you’re doing is okay because subconsciously, you’re waiting for someone else to take over or give you an option.”
I remained quiet as I nodded continually, trying to keep my tears at bay.
“That was what I had been disappointed about, Vinnie,” he told me. “I would have no problem with you getting delayed from graduating if I knew you had done everything you can to stop it. But this? You just gave up when that happened and you didn’t even try to talk yourself out of it? That wasn’t you at all.”
“Sorry, Dad,” I answered weakly. I did not even know if I could cry. All the energy I had that day dissipated into nothingness. I remained quiet and was caught by a huge, overwhelming sense of defeat.
Dad was right. I was sure he had not told me that to dishearten me but I could not stop mentally beating myself up for something I should have realized earlier.
There I was again, punishing myself and watering the seeds of my own self-doubt, letting it grow along with the tall weeds that Summer had planted in my mind last time.
CHAPTER 30
Had I known what would happen that day, I would have avoided it but none of us saw it coming. Later in life, I would look back at it with sadness and regret and wish that I could spare Cholo and I from the hurt about to unfold.
My phone beeped at 5 a.m., waking me up.
Cholo Valiente
Happy three months!
I was about to reply when a speech bubble appeared, telling me he was typing.
Cholo Valiente
Hah, I remembered. U OWE ME!
Smiling weakly, I dialled him straight up.
“Hey,” I said as soon as he picked up. “You just beat me to it.”
“Sus, palusot,” he replied. “And why do you sound like that? Have you at least brushed your teeth?”
“Actually, your message woke me up.”
“Well, you wouldn’t want to be late today,” he told me. “I had a lot of stuff planned for us.”
Cholo and his plans. I remembered what Dad said yesterday and my heart ached a little.
“Stuff? But you’re in QC. I won’t even see you until this afternoon because you have your club president interview lined up this morning. How is that romantic?”
“Oh, just you wait, Lavinia,” he said. “Just you wait.”
“I will be waiting,” I answered, stretching as I made my way to the bathroom. “No proposals, though. Or tarps with my embarrassing face on it.”
“No worries. I made sure to cover your face when I put it on the bulletin board. I’m afraid the bangs would give you away, though.”
“CHOLO!”
“Kidding!” he said, guffawing his head off from the other line. “Don’t worry, I just have a slightly embarrassing flash mob in front of BA waiting for you. I even had them study our favorite Era of Maidens songs.”
“Ewan ko sa’yo!” I snarled and he laughed again before we said goodbye.
I put the phone down and stared at myself in the mirror, finding a girl with straight hair and blunt bangs staring back at me.
“Good morning to you, too,” I sleepily said to my reflection and with a last stretch, I started brushing my teeth.