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How could all of it be good when Jude was going to die in a few months?
She didn’t say that. He didn’t need to know it. He didn’t need to think about how she would feel when he left her.
“Yeah.” She smiled so he would hear it in her voice. “I feel good.”
This time she knew for sure when he pressed a kiss into her hair. “Good. Me too.”
Two days later, it was already dark outside by the time she and Jude returned to Green Valley. They’d flown into Charlotte, and a car from the service his father used picked them up and drove them to the Gregory house.
She was tired, which was only expected after a long trip and unavoidable jet lag. But she also felt kind of bleak. Heavy.
Blah.
She’d had a really good time in Paris and Rome, but now they were back to reality.
And their reality wasn’t good.
It was nice to see Nancy, who gushed as she greeted them, tried to carry their luggage upstairs until Jude overruled her, and then bustled after them up to their rooms. Eve started unpacking immediately because she knew Nancy wanted to gather their laundry. Since Jude had gone immediately to take a shower, she emptied his case first and let Nancy take the dirty clothes. Then both of them went into her room. Eve perked up a little as she showed the other woman her new clothes andthe trinkets Jude had bought her—so many they filled an entire suitcase. But after Nancy left, that dreary weight pressed down on her again.
She and Jude weren’t a normal couple returning from their honeymoon, ready to start their new life and anticipating decades together.
They had just over two months left. If they were lucky.
Deciding Jude had a good idea about washing off the trip, she got in the shower, soaped up, and then stood there for longer than normal, letting the hot spray beat down on her.
She felt cleaner but not any livelier when she got out and pulled on a gray knit pajama set.
The hall was quiet as she stepped out. Jude’s bedroom door was open, and the room was empty when she glanced in. It smelled like the bath soap he used.
She wandered downstairs and found him in the library, staring out of the big bay window.
It was dark outside. There was nothing to see. His shoulders were hunched.
Maybe he felt the way she did.
“Hey,” she said softly. “Always kind of blah coming back home.”
He’d turned at her first word, and now he gave her a small, poignant smile. “Yeah. It really is.”
“Nancy said she was fixing us dinner. I told her we weren’t very hungry, so she said she’d make us a salad.”
“That sounds good.” He sighed and walked over to slump onto the couch. When she came to sit beside him, he added, “I’m going to spend the next few days writing. I want to finish this book as soon as I can.”
“Of course. Take all the time you need.” Her breath hitched as she heard the words. Wished she hadn’t said them. “I’m goodat entertaining myself. I’ve got some people to visit and a lot of lying around reading to do.”
That made him huff in amusement, exactly as she’d intended.
She tried to think of something else to say—anything to distract them from their shared mood—but nothing came to her. She was too worn out to force herself to chat idly.
Nancy arrived shortly with salad and parmesan crostini. Eve had told her not to bring coffee for Jude—he had a bad habit of guzzling it—so they had sparkling water instead.
After they finished, they both read on the couch for an hour or so. Eve was halfway through a cozy mystery, and Jude had started some sort of acclaimed literary tome.
Her eyes eventually started falling shut. When she nearly dropped her e-reader, she had to admit defeat.
“You falling asleep?” he asked, eyeing her in fond amusement.
“No.” She summoned all her dignity to add, “I woke myself up.”