Page 66 of Restoration
He sighs and hugs me tighter. “That’s because it is.”
We don’t say anything else, but we hold each other until we fall asleep.
twelve
IT’S SEVERAL DAYS LATERbefore we’re coming home to Edmund’s mansion.
It’s not just making it back to California. There’s also a huge amount of hassle after we dock. Our families are all waiting—which is the best part of our homecoming—and the press has been notified, so we’re surrounded by a flurry of attention.
We have to talk to the Coast Guard and a couple of the legislators that Caleb went through to get help for the search. We have to endure full medical examinations from a doctor. I pass through each day in a weird daze, and nothing looks or tastes or smells or feels the way it’s supposed to.
It’s like I’m still walking through a dream.
It’s evening more than a week after being rescued when Edmund and I finally make it back to his place.
My pretty suite in the back of the house looks exactly like it did before. But it feels like something out of memory rather than real life.
Edmund has been quiet for the past few days. Really quiet. Maybe he’s in as much of a daze as I am, but he hasn’t been himself. He hasn’t laughed much. Or teased me. We haven’t had sex.
Maybe it’s because he’s every bit as exhausted as I am, but I’m afraid it might be more than that.
Things are different now. Everything has changed. And we’ve never been a couple here at home. Of course we won’t have sex anymore, and he won’t treat me in that sweet, intimate way he did on the island. Technically I don’t even work for him now. Our agreement was that I was quitting as soon as we got back from the cruise.
That means these rooms shouldn’t be mine anymore. Not this bed. Nothing.
As happy as I was to see my family again, there’s something inside me that’s already weeping. Already mourning what I’m about to lose.
Maybe I’ve already lost it.
Maybe I never had it for real.
If Edmund wanted to continue a relationship with me now, he would have said so. At the very least, he would have come to me at night so we could have sex. He doesn’t even kiss me anymore. The significance is clear.
Edmund has always let life happen to him. He’s always gone with the flow. He’s never fought the current. Of course he would fall into a relationship with me on the island but then let us drift apart when we got home.
Because he cares for me. I know he does. And he likes having sex with me.