Page 113 of Toy Boy
I still don’t know whether I came down here to speak to him, or just watch him from afar. I only know that I wanted to do this. I wanted to see him. I miss him. More than I thought I would, and I feel a pang of regret that I let Scott get in the way when I had a chance of something good with Xander. Except, I don’t think I did, really. After all, I was only ever supposed to be a weapon used to get at Scott. A pawn in Xander’s payback plan. We were never supposed to be a thing. Did he mean anything he said to me? Anything at all? Those are questions that have gone round and round in my head ever since I found out the truth. Questions I’ve wanted to ask him, but I’ve stepped back from doing that because, what’s the point? He’s going. He’s leaving. Just like he was always going to. And I have to let him go.
Sipping my coffee I watch him run down the sand, his surf board tucked under his arm, and I feel my stomach lurch, my heart start to race, I really had been starting to feel something for this man. It had just been masked by ridiculous, residual feelings for a man I should never have allowed back in my head. A man who’d changed, yes, and I let that guide me, in the wrong fucking direction.
Xander’s paddling his way out to sea now, and I watch as he leaps up onto his board, the waves carrying him back the way he came, he looks so free out there. I wish I’d let him teach me how to do that. Feel free…
I tear my gaze away from him, finish my coffee, and throw the empty carton into a nearby recycling bin before I make my way back up to the café. I have a business to run and a life to get back to, I don’t need anything else…
Scott
“You can go home today.” Tania closes the door behind her and perches herself down on the edge of the bed.
“Good. I’m bored witless in here.”
“Yes. I’ve heard rumblings that you haven’t been the most tolerant patient.”
That’s an understatement. But as far as patients go, they do say doctors make the worst kind. “I’m bored, Tania.”
“Well, you’re going to have to get used to being bored for a little while longer yet. They’re letting you go home but you’re still under orders to rest. Your ribs are still bruised, your wrist is going to take time to heal properly, and you’ve suffered a pretty nasty head trauma. In my opinion you should be staying put, here, for another few days but I think they all want some peace. So they’re handing you over to me.”
I frown. “Handing me over to you?”
“You’re coming home with me. I don’t trust you going home to an empty house with nobody there to keep an eye on you.”
“I’m not a child, Tania. I’m quite capable of looking after myself.”
“You have one working hand, Scott. And you know you’re still in pain when you move around, are you really going to be that stubborn? Who’s going to cook for you…?”
“I’ll order take-out.”
She throws me the kind of look a teacher gives a naughty child. “Not very healthy, for a doctor.”
“You have to work. So I’d be on my own anyway, what’s the difference if it’s at my house or yours?”
“I’m taking some leave.”
“I’m sorry?”
“I’m taking some leave. I’m owed a couple of weeks, so I’m taking it.”
“You’re taking leave to look after me?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“Because it terrified the hell out of me when I heard what had happened. And I love you. Okay? I love you.”
Alright. I wasn’t expecting that…
Really?
You weren’t…?
She drops her gaze, and I want to say something but I can’t find the words. And it’s only then that I realise I haven’t given Megan a second thought for – well, since I woke up. Maybe a fleeting moment or two, but that’s all. Has this fucking accident finally knocked some sense into me…?
“I’ll go get the discharge papers, then we can start to get you out of here.”
She makes a move to get off the bed but I grab her hand, and pull her back down. And when her eyes meet mine I know exactly what I want now.