Page 28 of Toy Boy
“I’m busy. Anything else?”
“Come on, Megan. This is ridiculous.”
He’s right, actually. It is. But just the thought of sitting down with him, and listening to his excuses, I’m not sure I can do it. Even if the apologies come flooding out of his mouth I don’t think I even care anymore. I’m done with him.
“I can’t right now, Scott. I just – I can’t.”
I hang up before he has another chance to say anything, but I stay where I am, looking out over the almost deserted harbour. There aren’t many people about, but in an hour or so this place will be bustling with tourists and residents and it’ll be a day like any other, except, it isn’t. It isn’t…
Xander
I’ve left it a couple of days for a reason. I don’t want to look too keen, or make it seem like I’m bothering her, I don’t even know if she feels the same way I do. But I think I’ve left it long enough now.
The café’s busy when I stop by, the last of the lunchtime rush, probably. But I still manage to grab a just-vacated table out on the terrace, which was lucky.
Leaning forward, I try to see if Megan’s inside, I don’t even know if she’s here today, I just assume she’s here every day. It’s her business after all.
“Xander?”
I glance around, it’s Hanna, smiling widely at me as she delivers two plates of food to a table across the other side of the terrace before making her way over to me. And this wasn’t in my plan, I’d honestly thought I’d made my feelings clear to her. Hadn’t I? Shit! I can’t even remember now. I’ve never wanted to be friend-zoned more in my life.
“Hey! It’s good to see you. How are you?”
“I’m okay.”
“You settling in alright?”
“It’s like I’ve been here forever.” I flash her a grin, a friendly one, and she laughs as she fiddles nervously with her watch strap.
“Listen, Xander, I don’t know if you’re busy but, one of my friends is having a house party on Saturday night and…”
Oh, man, I know where this is going, and I really, really don’t want to have to disappoint her, again. But I can’t do this, because I don’twantthis. I don’t wanther.
“If you want to come…?”
She stares at me with wide, pleading eyes, and there’s a part of me that feels like accepting her invitation just to keep her happy. But I’m not going to. That isn’t fair. She seems like a really nice girl, to be honest, but she doesn’t deserve someone like me. She doesn’t deserve that.
“I’m not sure what I’m doing on Saturday, Hanna.”
“Oh.”
Her disappointment is obvious, and I wish I didn’t have to keep doing this to her but she’s relentless. I’m just trying to be kind.
“Alright…”
“Look, Hanna…” At least I remember her name now. She deservesthatmuch from me. “I like you, I do, but… I need some friends while I’m here. I want us to be friends, okay?”
She smiles at me, but it’s a watered down version of the smile she gave me not two minutes ago. And there’s a touch of anger there behind her eyes now, I’m sure of it. I can’t help that. I’m just being honest here, for her own good.
“Friends can come to parties too,” she says, before turning on her heels and heading back inside. And the atmosphere she leaves behind is ice cold, but I think she’s got the message now.
Sitting back, I look around me, this café really does attract an eclectic crowd. There’s everyone from the obvious tourists to a small group of construction workers to two suited-up businessmen enjoying a late lunch and a bottle of wine.
“You could do a lot worse than Hanna, you know.”
I slowly turn my head to see her standing there – Megan Flowers – pad in hand, pen poised ready to take my order. And she looks so fucking beautiful today, even in a simple outfit of jeans and a white shirt, her short, silver-blonde hair casually mussed up and tucked behind one ear. She’s wearing those white Converse again, too, I’m guessing they’re her go-to favourites. And all I can think of is how much I want her. Yeah, I do, I really want her.
“Would you rather I led her on? Gave her false hope?”