Page 30 of Toy Boy
I stop and turn around, and I flash my best smile at the tall red-head in front of me. Tania Wilding, the hospital trust’s Head of Communications.
“It’s so good to have you back, Scott. We’ve missed you.”
And I think she actually means that. Unlike her trust colleague, Greta Featherstone. But then, Tania and I have history, and not one I’m exactly proud of. Now. At the time I never gave it a second thought.
“It’s good tobeback, Tania.”
“We should get together. Have a proper catch-up.”
We shouldn’t. Well, not alone, anyway.
You still think you’re that weak?
I didn’t think I was weak before.
You were. You really were…
“It’s been far too long. You must have loads of news to share.”
Not really. Nothing I want to talk about, anyway. And I think I was away from here – from Beachcastle – for just the right amount of time. Long enough to make sure I don’t make the same mistakes again… Mistakes. Plural. I made many, not just one, and yet, it’s only hindsight that’s making me regret them…? Yeah… I think Iwasthat man Megan accused me of being. I know that now. Iwashim.
“Look, I’m having a bit of a house-warming party on Saturday night. You should come.”
We can catch up there, along with everyone else. A crowd. No one-on-one temptation, because Tania truly is an incredible looking woman. And one I never forgot.
“You’ve bought Neville’s old place, is that right?”
I nod, and I can’t help but notice the obvious weight loss she’s sporting. She’s still as striking as ever, but there’s a leanness about her now that wasn’t there before.
“It’s going to be a pretty informal do, just drinks and finger food, but it would be nice to see you and Derek there.”
Yeah. She was married, too, which makes her as bad as I was, at the time. As guilty as I was.
“Oh, Derek’s history, haven’t you heard?” She waves a hand dismissively in the air, shaking her head so those fiery red curls of hers fall loosely around her shoulders.
“No. I haven’t. What happened?”
He probably found out about her affairs, I’m guessing. I wasn’t the only one acting like shit didn’t matter back then, she was just better at keeping her tracks covered than I was.
“We just grew apart.”
Really?
“We started to want different things, it happens.”
The ease with which she dismisses the end of her marriage is quite jarring, I at least tried to fight for mine. In the beginning. And I’ve come full circle now, I’m resuming that fight, so maybe I should be steering well clear of Tania; avoiding pieces of my past that are too close a reminder of the man I used to be.
“I’m sorry, Tania. Dealing with a marriage break-up isn’t always easy.”
“This one was. We both knew it was time, Scott. Both of us.”
She looks me right in the eye, and she can tell I’m starting to get a little uncomfortable now, even though nobody knew about Tania and I. It wasn’t a particularly long affair, and it certainly wasn’t anything serious, just a brief dalliance between colleagues who both had a tendency to break the rules. But I’ve changed. Whether she has or not remains to be seen, but she’s just another part of a past I’m trying hard to put behind me.
“I was sorry to hear about you and Lucie.”
I feign a smile, because I’m sure she knows I’d rather not talk about this. “I think we just wanted different things, too. It was for the best, we’re both happier now. Anyway, I should go, I’ve got a lot of paperwork to catch up on.”
“Of course. Yes. You must be very busy.”