Page 35 of Toy Boy

Is mindreading something else we can add to his growing list of many talents?

“It’s not that, I just – this is all a little strange to me. I haven’t had any kind of relationship, with anyone, since I left Scott. I haven’t wanted one… Shit!” I drop my head and hug my knees tighter. “I’m talking about relationships again, after one kiss?” I laugh and shake my head, I’m embarrassed now. “See what I mean?” I look up at him, but he just looks confused. “You’re only here for the summer. Relationships aren’t on the agenda, I’m guessing. Just fun, right?”

“Don’t you like having fun?” he asks, his mouth twitching upwards, and I can’t help but smile back.

“I don’t know. It’s been that long since I’ve had any.”

He laughs too, and I find myself relaxing again.

“Let it go, Megan. Everything. Just, let it all go.”

“You make it sound so easy.”

He shrugs. “It doesn’t have to be hard. What’ve you got to lose, huh?”

“Nothing,” I sigh. Except, maybe, my dignity? Respect? Friendships? I mean, what if Hanna finds out…? Scott would freak, though… No. No, I can’t use this man – this innocent man – as a weapon in some stupid game I could, quite easily, start playing with my ex-husband. That’s not happening, I’m better than that.

“Let’s just hang out, and see where this takes us. How does that sound?”

I smile at him again. “Hanging out sounds fine to me.” I pick up my beer and finish the last of it. “Why don’t you come to mine? For dinner, Saturday night?” Did I seriously just ask him to come to my place? Myhome? Is that sending out the wrong kind of message? Oh, you know what? Who cares? I really don’t think I give a fuck anymore.

“You’re asking me to dinner?” He arches a not unattractive eyebrow. It’s perfectly groomed, actually, which I’m almost sure can’t be said about mine at the minute. And now I’m thinking about it, have I started to let myself go? Have I…?

“I’m offering to cook you something, because I’m getting the distinct feeling that you’re living on fast food… Oh, for Christ’s sake, I’m sounding like your mother now.” I throw my head back and sigh quietly. But he’s laughing, and I look at him, my mouth starting to form a smile I can’t hide anymore.

“You’re nothing like my mother.” He grins, and I laugh too, because he’s funny and kind and so damn hot! “I’d really like you to cook me dinner.”Sohot…

My smile widens, and I lean forward, and when he reaches for my hand I let him take it. And it feels nice, his hand in mine. I haven’t felt a man hold my hand in a long time. And it’s funny, but you don’t realise how much you’ve missed something until it’s happening again. I hadn’t missed my hand being held, until now.

“I do a mean lamb bhuna. Turmeric rice, naan bread, the works. I haven’t cooked it in a long time, though, it’s always seemed a lot of work for just me.”

“I love spicy food.”

“Good. You bring the beer.”

“That’s sorted, then. It’s a date.”

His eyes lock on mine, and we’re still smiling. Both of us. “It’s a date,” I whisper. Because it just might be. I don’t know, I’m still going to play this by ear. “And I really should be going now. I’ve got to be up early to open the café for breakfast…” I look down and realise his hand is still holding mine. “It’s been nice. This.” I slowly raise my gaze, and I’m allowing my stomach another tiny jolt, except that it dips so low it’s all I can do to hold the gasp in. “I’m going now.”

He shoots me a smile I could’ve done without, it’s just setting my stomach off on another crazy round of somersaults that I’m just not used to. “Okay.”

I gently pull my hand from his, and we stand up. Is this going to turn into one of those awkward goodbyes? I don’t think it is, I don’tfeellike it is, because awkward is actually the last thing I feel around him. A little nervous, maybe, I’m still out of my comfort zone here. Way out of it. But, awkward? No. I mean, I’m not going to haul out the clichés again and say it feels like I’ve known him all my life or shit like that, that’s not true. He just makes me feel – I don’t know. Like I can be myself. And not feel bad about that.

“Will I see you tomorrow?”

The way he asks that question, he’s leaving it very much up to me as to whether that’s going to happen or not. I think it probably will.

“Yeah. Maybe.”

There’s a slight tension in the air, at least, for me there is. I want to kiss him again, I can’t explain how much, but I’m not going to. Instead, I pick up my jacket and start to walk away, but I’m smiling. I’m smiling so hard…

8

Scott

I’m beginning to regret organising this party now. I’d forgotten how much I hate house parties, especially when they’re inmy own home. When Megan and I were married we used to have them every now and again, but I was never involved in the planning. That was all Megan. I just turned up, mingled, and drank whiskey.

Megan’s parties were always a success. She was the perfect host, I guess that’s why she’s running a successful business right now. That cute little café she’d always talked about opening. The dream I’d laughed off, because I never thought she could do it. I never thought she’d be able to do anything, without me. I was so fucking wrong. And that’s a hard thing to admit, for someone like me.