Page 78 of Toy Boy
This woman is everything I need, but she’s nothing I want. I only want her as a distraction. For sex. I want a life with Megan.
“Thank you for tonight.”
Tania looks at me and smiles as she reaches for her bag and coat lying over the arm of the couch. “I had a nice time. We should do it again.”
“I’d like that.” And that isn’t a lie, as I’m saying the words I know that I mean them.
“Okay, well, I’ll see you soon.”
She left a slight pause there, before saying anything, as though she was waiting for me to arrange another meeting. Another date? Part of me wants to, I really do, but I need to concentrate on Megan. Distractions are nice, especially when they’re as lovely as Tania, but they can’t get in the way. And they’re starting to.
“I’ll let myself out. Goodnight, Scott.”
“Goodnight.”
I watch her leave, and I contemplate calling her back, just for a moment, but I think some time alone is what I need, to think. And with Tania gone the house is suddenly deathly quiet again, after days of it being filled with our chatter, music, her laughter.
One more whiskey and then I’m calling it a night. It’s been a good one, once I’d managed to put all thoughts of Megan and Xander to the back of my mind, but they’re suddenly rushing back to the forefront now. I need that drink and I need sleep. Tomorrow’s another day…
16
Megan
The sky’s overcast and packed full of clouds, I can’t see a chink of blue anywhere. And the temperature’s dropped, it’s actually quite chilly today as I clear the recently vacated tables out here on the terrace, wiping them down with one hand while my other precariously clutches empty plates and dishes. The breakfast rush is all but over, but the café is far from empty. It’s just that, due to the change in weather, most people have chosen to sit inside.
Back in the kitchen, I rinse the crockery, cups, and cutlery before stacking them in the dishwasher and switching it on for another cycle. Then I check the fridge to make sure we have everything we need for the day’s lunch menu, even though I’ve done that about three times already this morning. Every time there’s a lull and I find myself with a spare moment I check the fridge in a desperate attempt to find something to do, anything to distract me.
From what?
You know what…
I didn’t want to think about him. Scott. But for some reason he kept popping into my head; images of him and Tania, are they really together? Is he finally moving on? That’s a question I’ve been asking myself for days now, and then silently scolding myself for giving him the headspace he doesn’t deserve, I’d promised myself that was never going to happen again.
Heading out of the back room, I grab a fresh pad from a pile on the counter and fish my pencil from my jeans pocket. I’m in search of more distractions, and we might have some new customers popping in for a pot of tea or coffee and a mid-morning snack. A freshly-baked scone, maybe, or a slice of carrot and ginger cake. One of my favourites.
The café’s about three-quarters full, just a couple of breakfast stragglers remain, while the rest are enjoying the lighter pre-lunch options. And as I glance around to see if there’s anyone who needs their order taken, I spot him, at his favourite corner table, his head bent down over a magazine or a newspaper, possibly even a book, I can’t tell from back here. But just the sight of him brings a smile to my face, sets a few butterflies loose in my stomach, and sends all thoughts of Scott scampering away to the back of my mind. Where they belong…
Xander
“Hey! What are youdoing here in the middle of the day? Haven’t you got a surf shop to run?”
The smile she gives me smashes right into my heart, and I have to leave a beat or two before I reply, to allow myself to catch my breath. I really hadn’t meant for things to get this far, not even close, and maybe I took my eye off the ball for one second too long, I don’t know. There are brief moments in time when I don’t even care, but those are the dangerous moments, and I need to catch them when they happen. And push them away.
“The weather’s making it a bit of a slow day today, so, I thought I’d shut up for an hour and come grab a coffee from my favourite café.”
Her smile widens, her eyes shining as she looks at me, and I swear, I never meant for any of this to happen, I never meant to hurt her. And it kills me that I might. That I mighthaveto.
“Okay, well, are just talking coffee here? Or do you want something to go with that?”
I reach for her hand, pulling her towards me, and she leans over and kisses me quickly, I know she’s not entirely comfortable with public displays of affection on her own turf. But I just wanted to taste her again, to feel her warm lips on mine because this won’t last forever. It can’t. It was never meant to.
“I meant cake.” Her voice carries a mock-stern tone, and I laugh and let go of her, although she seems reluctant to leave my grasp.
“I don’t feel like cake.” I sit back and look at her, her short, silver-blonde hair mussed-up in her usual “just-got-out-of-bed” style that makes her look so incredibly sexy. It still confuses the fuck out of me why Scott Warren felt the need to look anywhere else when he had Megan in his life. The fucker deserves everything that’s coming to him. “What else have you got?”
“How about a sandwich? You’re too late for breakfast, and I don’t give any special treatment to anyone, so don’t even ask.”
She’s smiling as she says all of that, and I could sit here and watch her work all day, but I can’t. I’ve got things to do because that day is drawing ever closer. The day when it all comes to a head.