Page 88 of Toy Boy
“What if he decides to stay?”
“Is there some point to this conversation?”
She shrugs and turns her head away, just as Scott begins weaving his way through the tables on the crowded terrace, Tania clinging onto his hand as she follows behind him. And I wish my eyes hadn’t strayed in his direction, too, but they have.
“I’d forgotten how tall that woman is,” Laney muses as Scott and Tania quickly grab a just-vacated table at the front of the terrace.
I look away, down into my drink, and I can feel Laney’s eyes burning into the side of my neck.
“You see? He still has that headspace.”
I slowly look up, and I shake my head, quite vigorously. “No, Laney, he doesn’t.”
She just looks at me, and I sigh heavily and drop my head, and I wish Xander would hurry up and get back here.
“You can’t let him go, Meg. I can see it in your eyes, and that scares me.”
“Don’t be ridiculous! Why are you scared?”
She leans forward, her eyes boring into mine. “Because once he gets back in here…” She jabs her fingers at her temple. “He’s got you right where he wants you.”
“You really think I’m that weak?”
“I don’t know, Megan.Areyou?”
I shake my head again and turn it away from her, she’s seriously pissing me off now.
“I just want you to leave it, Megan. Leave the past behind, and I know his coming back here has unsettled you, but don’t give him what he wants. Don’t let him see that his very presence is having any impact on your life because you really, seriously, do not need him back in it in any capacity.”
I’m not sure that’s for her to decide, but I know that what she’s saying, it’s coming from a good place. She’s my sister. She loves me.
“I don’t see a reason why we can’t be friends, Laney. Why me and Scott can’t move forward and make a new start, as friends. It would be so much easier.”
“For who?”
“Everyone.”
“You want to be his friend?” She looks at me, one eyebrow arched, and I hate the way she’s questioning me like this. It’s up to me who I’m friends with, no one else gets to make that decision. And I know I’d thrown that idea out, but maybe it’s for the best, that we try and be friends. Maybe it’s the only way either of us can ever move forward because, at the minute, I think our relationship’s in limbo, almost. That’s what it feels like, to me.
I look away again, my eyes falling back on Scott, I swear, it was a reflex action I had no control over. “I’m going to the loo.” I need a break. So I put down my drink and push back my chair and head back inside before Laney can get another word out, even though I don’t need to pee. But I do need a moment alone…
Scott
“I forgot to tell Tim something, I won’t be second.” I scrape back my chair and get up.
“You’ve only just sat down. Can’t it wait?”
“Two minutes, I promise. I’ll grab some more drinks while I’m in there.”
“Make mine a double this time,” Tania sighs, and I nod and quickly make my escape, back inside, just in time to see Megan heading out of the private function room and out into the main part of the pub. I hang back a little, I don’t want her to think I’m following her, even though that’s exactly what I’m doing, but I need to see where she’s going.
She seems to be heading towards the front entrance, in fact, she leaves the pub altogether, and I hang back again, just for a moment, as I watch her sit down at one of the wooden trestle tables out front.
I give it a few moments while I try to think of a reason why I’ve come outside too, and then I realise I don’t need one. I’m tired of making excuses, of thinking of reasons why I want to be in her company, it’s time to start telling the truth.
She looks up as I approach, but her expression is impassive. I can’t read her; can’t tell whether she’s pleased to see me or about to tell me to fuck off.
“Can I sit down?”