Page 63 of Too Lethal to Love
She rode out her orgasm and held on like he’d disappear if she let go. As he reached the pinnacle with an unearthly roar, she couldn’t stop the words strangling her heart from leaving her lips.
“Don’t you dare die on me, Kane.”
Kane listened for Beth’s breaths to settle into a steady rhythm before he left the room. He wasn’t in the habit of lying, but he’d lied to the woman who trusted him with her body, with her deepest secret. He couldn’t address the untruths now. Stirring up that clusterfuck of emotions was as volatile as the threats against her life.
She’d said she didn’t love him. He’d lied his ass off when he said he didn’t love her. Hell, he wasn’t even sure if this terrifying, free-falling feeling qualified as love, but it was damn scary. He’d spent time on a Navy ship, but all that time at sea didn’t teach him to navigate the uncharted waters he’d lost himself in since he’d met Dr. Beth Parker.
He checked his comms unit as he pulled himself out of bed and away from the temptation to bury his face between her legs and wake her up with another orgasm, and then fall asleep again with her tucked safely in his arms. Nic was still outside watching the front of the house and Linc was monitoring the perimeter in the back. He checked in with both. Assured all was secure, he quickly dressed and quietly made his way into the living room. His phone flashed next to hislaptop with an incoming call from Gran. “Merry almost Christmas Eve. Having fun?”
“Yes. Did you and Beth set a wedding date yet?”
So much for not thinking about his feelings for the sugarplum in the bedroom.
“Gran, I barely know her.” But he knew she loved Christmas. Supported her hometown, shared her love of science with kids, and was committed to saving lives. Enjoyed living in DC. Liked to be in charge because it made her feel in control. Believed she was a black widow but didn’t want to. That she was afraid to fall for him.
“I knew your grandfather for only a few days before we got married. And your mother and your father got hitched after a few weeks. I could tell your mother was the one for my son the first moment I met her, just like I know Beth is the one for you. Stop being a pussy and make that girl your wife.”
“Gran, we really need to have a conversation about your word choices.”
“Oh, please. You should hear the gals at bingo when their number isn’t called. And never mind when the announcer says ‘Osixty-nine.’”
He put his hand over his ear. “Jeez, Gran. I don’t want to hear that. Do you even know what it means?” Thinking about Gran and her friends talking about oral sex certainly did the trick of halting his libido to a grinding stop.
Gran giggled. “Of course. Do you need me to explain it to you?”
Fuck no.“I’m good. How’s Livvie?”
“You know how your sister is. She rushes in without thinking, but she’ll figure out soon this guy isn’t the one for her.”
And then she’ll be devastated and swear to never fall inlove again.Until the next time. He hoped the next guy Livvie brought home had Gran’s stamp of approval.
Wait, was he buying into Gran’s sixth sense nonsense? It had to be nonsense. Right? But what he felt for Beth, what he swore he wouldn’t feel until years from now when he retired and death wasn’t a constant shadow, felt…divine.
“Gran, how do you know two people are meant for each other?” He couldn’t believe he was asking, especially since his mission was to make Beth understand that curses from a higher power didn’t exist. But did a sixth sense come from a higher power, or was it really something inherent in Gran? He didn’t thinkhisinstincts were nonsense. Trusting his hunches about danger kept him alive. Who was he to say Gran’s didn’t hold value?
“I don’t really know. I just do. It’s a feeling. Like I can sense a strong magnet pulling two people together.”
Kane nodded. Even before he’d witnessed Beth’s nightmare on their not-quite date, he’d sensed she was afraid of something. “Tell me more, Gran.”
“Well, the best example is when I met your mother for the first time. The charge I felt stole my breath when she walked into my house holding your father’s hand.”
Kane asked the questions he’d been avoiding for years. “But if they were so in love, why did she…”
“Give up? She didn’t give up. She fought as hard as she could.”
Fighting didn’t entail missing his and Livvie’s graduation ceremony because she was too drunk to drive or sleeping so much she couldn’t stay awake to tell them good night. “But she checked out, Gran. Dad died and she couldn’t live without him.”
“She checked out and I allowed it because she needed to for a while. My way of dealing with my son’s death was tolose myself in you and Livvie. Everyone deals with loss differently. Your mom needed time to sit with it, to feel and absorb and process while I pushed through. It wasn’t until you and Livvie went to college that I allowed myself to fully grieve.”
A thick lump clogged his throat. He’d dove headfirst into campus life to combat his grief and never realized how much he’d missed at home. “I’m so sorry you went through that by yourself.”
“Don’t be. It’s what I had to do. What I’d already been through when your grandfather died. You were deployed and didn’t see how hard I took his death. It was months before I could bring myself to get behind the wheel of the Buick.”
“Gran, I…”
“It’s okay. I’m proud of you for following your dreams, but you need to know this. After you and Livvie left for college, your mom started making progress with her grief. She’d gone to a support group and met a few friends. Had talked to me about going to AA. The night she was killed, she’d met her new girlfriends at a bar for someone’s birthday. I was so proud of her for going out. And yes, she had been drinking, but she hadn’t been driving.”
“I remember her mentioning grief counseling, but I didn’t know she was thinking about going to AA.” That took strength and courage he admired. He kicked himself for not recognizing it. “I just thought she hung around the house all day in Dad’s old sweatshirts.”