Page 178 of Hunt for You
Sam went very still, his entire body frozen. His head jerked up and his eyes locked on mine.
Suddenly terrified, I dropped my phone to my side and looked at him, my heart dancing double-time now because I was scared shitless that I’d really fucked this up, and he was just going to call the cops and get me out of here.
“Did you… why did you say that?”
“Because I don’t lie, either. Not when it’s important,” I said quietly, then swallowed hard when the tension on his face disappeared and he scoffed.
“Now I know you’re lying–”
“No, Sam. I didn’t. Everything I told you was the truth.”
“Well, you left awhole fucking lot out!”he bellowed, then cut himself off, rubbing his face with his hand and muttering to himself.
“I mean, I’m not the only one…” I pointed out, but I was wincing. When he just looked at me flatly without responding, I lifted up the phone again. “Look, just tell your lawyers to ask for my phone files for the trial. You have the weapon to destroy me now. Even if I delete it,trust me,the feds can dig it up. But I won’t delete it.”
“Why… why would you do that?”
“I just told you—”
“No, Bridget.Why would you?Is this just another self-sabotage? Is this a game?”
Tears were starting to pinch the backs of my eyes. “No, Sam! This is the opposite of that!”
“Then what—”
“You said it the very first time. The very first line.”
“Saidwhat?”
I swallowed hard and prayed he’d remember. “You said you knew how to make me feel alive. And you were right.”
His entire body slumped, and his eyes went dark. “That was Cain. Cain is a part of me that’s not healthy, Bridget. I’ve been trying to use that monster for good, but—”
“No, Sam. Please. Listen to me.”
He looked down at me warily.
I cleared my throat. “You might have meant it as Cain, but… but it’s true forallof you. You’re perfect. IknewCain was what I wanted, but he scared me too. And then you came along. And you were everything Ineeded.But I didn’t think you were strong enough. I thought I’d destroy you.”
Sam raked a hand through his hair, the lines on his face growing deeper. “I hate to break it to you, Bridget, but you already—”
“Please! Don’t! I came here to tell you, I don’t want to testify against you. I don’t want you in jail, or prison. I don’t want them to breach your parole. I don’t wantanyof this.”
“But you're the one who called the FBI!”
“No, I didn’t. Not until the very last minute and that was when… that was when I thought it wasjustCain and I thought… I thought maybe we could get him help and… and maybe there would be a future where… where we could be together…” I said lamely, hearing the emptiness of that crazed hope as the words passed my lips.
“We? You mean you and Cain?”
I nodded.
Sam gaped at me. “Are you actuallyinsane?You thought putting me in prison would make metrustyou?!”
“No! No, I just… I knew if you killed me there wasnofuture—”
“I wasnever going to kill you!I was trying to get you to see that there were things worthliving for!”he roared.
I wanted to cry. “But I didn’t know that! Ineededyou!” I said, my voice cracking so I had to take a second, take a breath, close my eyes, get myself under control. When I got myself together and opened my eyes, Sam was staring at me, searchingmy watery gaze, his eyes flickering between a fierce blaze, and a confused pleading.