Page 101 of Bean

I nodded.

He took a breath, opened his mouth like he was going to say something, then he closed it again. He stared at me, gaze full of purpose, then his lips parted, and instead of words, he leaned in and took the kiss I had been desperately wanting for days.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

BEAN

He was in love with me.

Jarek was in love with me.

It buzzed through my head, through my body, and I tried to pour every little bit of what I felt into the kiss until we ran out of breath. And then the words came, as easy as if I’d said them a thousand times before. “I love you too.”

Jarek’s eyes widened. “W-what? I don’t understand…”

“Can we go to your place so I can explain? I’d rather not do that in public.”

“Of course, of course.”

He didn’t reach for my hand as we walked to his townhouse, and I had to resist the urge to grab his. How had we both messed this up so badly? How had I not considered he might’ve seen that list? Truth be told, I couldn’t fault him for coming to the conclusion that I didn’t love him after reading that. If the roles had been reversed, I would’ve hightailed it out of there as well.

When we reached his place, he let us in and then gingerly sat on the couch. He looked like one of those dogs in a shelter who was expecting to not be chosen again. My heart broke for him. If only I had known.

“That list wasn’t a list of reasons why I don’t love you,” I said softly, figuring I’d better get to the point right away.

“But it was called?—”

“I made it because I realized I had fallen for you and needed to make sure I was right, that I wasn’t mistaking gratitude or sexual pleasure for love. And so I played devil’s advocate and made a list of arguments why I wasn’t in love with you.”

I reached for my black book and flipped through the pages until I got to the one Jarek had seen. I held it up, and he cringed. I flipped one more page and held that out to him. “And then I made a list of reasons why I was in love with you, refuting every single one of those ten false arguments. Read it.”

Jarek’s hand trembled as he took the notebook from me.

Reasons Why I Love Jarek

He’s not perfect, and I see his weaknesses, but they don’t matter to me.

I haven’t written down even one bad experience with him…and I would have if something had happened.

I love how he makes me feel when we’re in bed, but I also love how he makes me feel when we’re not in bed. I like spending time with him, even when we’re not doing sexual stuff.

You don’t need to know someone for a long time to realize you have a special connection. It will only grow deeper over time.