Page 16 of Bean
Was it really my place to say if we were never going to do this again?But the look on his face had me helpless against his request. “I’m not an expert, but I can tell you like it rough and tender at the same time. You like words of praise. I have a feeling you might like edging once you’re with a person you really trust.”
“Is edging exactly what it sounds like?” Bean asked.
I grinned and kissed his jaw before rolling away. “Yep. It doesn’t need to get too deep or too intense. And the more you get comfortable with a person, the more you’ll be able to play with them—and the more you’ll be comfortable letting them play with you. You need to be patient with yourself. You deserve good things.”
He was still pink at the tops of his ears when I looked at him. He grinned shyly. “What about you? What doyoulike?”
A lot of things. Taking care of someone. Making them feel good. Being allowed to take my time and draw it out. There was a lot I liked that I thought Bean would too. But I had no right to ask for more time with him.
“It depends on the person I’m with,” I answered, groping around for my boxer briefs. I slid them on, and I could feel his gaze locked on my ass. He made me feel differently than Gio had over these last few years.Bean made me feel beautiful and wanted.
It scared me a little. I didn’t want to be more vulnerable than the divorce had already made me.
“Can you do me a favor?” he asked.
“Anything.”
“I have a little black book I keep in my back pocket with a clip-on pen. Can you grab that for me?”
That was…weird. Was he starting a notebook full of lovers? I had no place to question that, but I felt an irrational surge of jealousy as I picked up his jeans and patted the pockets.Unfortunately, I came up empty.
“I don’t think it’s here.”
He sat up, looking panicked. “Uh. What?”
I shook the jeans, then kicked mine to the side, but the only thing on the floor was his phone. “Sorry, sunshine. There’s only this.”
He groaned, flopping backward and covering his face. “I must have left it at the bar. Cripes.”
Putting one knee on the bed, I pressed his phone into his hand and then turned his face for a kiss. “Are you okay without it?”
He sighed, kissing me hard before pulling away and sitting up. “Yeah. It’s just a…thing. It’s not important.” He stared down at his phone, turning it from right to left before tapping the screen. It lit up brightly, and he squinted. “Are you okay if I have my roommate pick me up from here?”
My gut twisted. “Roommate. Not a boyfriend or girlfriend?”
He looked up, frowning. “No. You think I’m a cheater?”
I quickly shook my head. “No, sunshine. Not at all. Plenty of people have open marriages or relationships, and I’m all for doing what you want. But it is kind of a hard line for me.”
He cocked his head to the side. “You got cheated on, didn’t you?”
“It’s way more complicated than that, and I don’t mean to be rude, but I’m not really in a place where I can talk about it yet.”
Instead of getting offended, he leaned in, grabbed my hand, and kissed the center of my palm. “I’m sorry someone hurt you. You didn’t deserve that.”
I cradled his face and looked into his dark eyes. In another life, at any other time, I would have made him completely and totally mine. “Kiss me one last time?”
He looked sad, but he didn’t argue. He leaned in and pressed our lips together, letting it linger until we both needed air. I didn’t fight to keep him when he pulled back. I just fumbled in my dresser for sweats and pretended like he wasn’t sending a message to take me out of his life forever.
It wasn’t the worst thing in the world, but if I were honest with myself, it kind of felt like it.
CHAPTER FIVE
BEAN
We were watchingDirty Dancing, and it was surprisingly fun. Patrick Swayze was an amazing dancer and, as a bonus, super hot, and the actress who played Baby was cute as a button. Their chemistry was undeniable, and I was engrossed.
It hadn’t been the plan. Once every other week, we did a group night on Friday or Saturday, depending on everyone’s schedule. Just the four of us, no outsiders, including Heath.