Page 36 of Bean

“Men. Or people in general,” I clarified. I didn’t want to tell her what I knew. It wasn’t my story to share. “Neither of us is in a good place for a relationship, so I’m not sure what to call it.”

“A hookup,” she said like I was thick.“Friends with benefits?”

Which, yeah, it was. But oddly, that word felt like it was devaluing what I felt with Bean when we were together. I rubbed my hands down my face and sighed. “Anyway, if that’s all, I have a mountain of work, and my boss is a real hardass.”

“I’ve heard she’s soft when it comes to silver bears she’s known for more than half her life.” Ivy winked as she jumped up and walked over, leaning down to kiss me on the cheek. “I want you to be happy, babe.”

I put my arms around her and squeezed as she fell into my lap. I’d done this since forever, and I was glad that no matter where we were in life, my ability to be affectionate with my best friend hadn’t changed. That it would never change. “I will be. I just need some time.”

She kissed my cheek again, then swiped her fingers over what was very obviously a lipstick stain. “I love you, Jarek. You’ll get wherever you want to be—except I will not let you become some hermit on the beach walking his cat on a harness. Okay?”

I burst into laughter. “Fine, fine.What about a turtle.”

She gave me a look full of venom, which only made me laugh harder.

“Alright, no cats, no turtles.Maybe a partner in the distant, distant future.”

“I’ll take it,” she said and settled back against me.

As much as I’d sworn off the idea of love after Gio, the idea was starting to have a little more merit. Maybe I wouldn’t get lucky enough to settle down with Bean or anyone as good as him, but maybe there was hope for me.

“Just call him.”

I glanced up from my crouch near the far wall of the townhouse, the mallet heavy in my hand. My brother and I were meant to be knocking down a wall, but I was distracted.I had been all afternoon. I stood up, my knees and back popping like a freshly poured bowl of Rice Krispies.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Andrei scoffed and folded his arms over his chest. For a moment, he looked so much like our father that it made my stomach churn. Then his face softened, and it morphed intosomething else because our father would never, ever have looked at me like he gave a shit about my wellbeing.

“Yes, you do. The guy you were texting when we were at dinner. The one you were trying to pretend was nothing? I don’t even know why you showed up here today when clearly you want to be doing anything else. Like him, for instance.”

He wasn’t wrong in that sense. I would have much rather been screwing Bean six ways to Sunday if given the choice between that and house renovations. But it also wasn’t just missing Bean. It was the fact that we were making almost no progress on the townhouse because I didn’t know what I was doing and wasn’t any good at the things Andrei had taught me.

It was becoming increasingly obvious that I needed to put this project in the hands of his professional team, who could give me a timeline. They could do the work without fucking it up and requiring Andrei to come in and fix it.

“I don’t need to call him. I need…I don’t know. I need a hobby or something that isn’t failing at DIY renovations.”

Andrei raised his brows. “A hobby? Like what? Knitting?”

That didn’t sound like the worst idea, but the truth was, I was using every excuse to stay out of the rental as often as possible. It wasn’t home. It didn’t have my stuff in it. There was no warmth. It was just a bunch of walls with a bed to sleep in.

I wouldn’t feel settled after the divorce until I had my own place. Something that was mine alone. This townhouse was well on the way, but it wasn’t moving fast enough.

“It’s time.”

Andrei tilted his head to the side. “For knitting club?”

“For me to hand this place off to you and call it a day, you dick.”

He burst into laughter as he crossed the distance between us and set his hands on my shoulders. “Smart man. I knew the twoof us got the good genes from that old man who calls himself our father.”

I couldn’t argue there. “My point is, I need to find some other way to occupy my time. And don’t say call Bean.”

His lips twitched. “I will never get over how fucking cute that nickname is for a guy who was literally in combat.”

I had to agree. But it fit him perfectly. His dimpled cheeks and wide eyes, and the way he seemed to appreciate everything like it was beautiful and brand new. Fuck, it had only been a few days, and I had no right to ask for his attention, but I missed him.

“I have an idea.”