Page 54 of Bean

I cupped his cheeks between my hands and looked him in the eyes. “Yeah, sunshine. I’m so incredibly, absolutely sure.”

The dinner was amazing, but dessert was even better. I had Bean on the bed, facedown against the mattress with his legsspread. I’d shown him how to give himself a cursory clean in the bathroom—nothing as deep as an enema, but enough that he’d feel safe letting me put my mouth on him.He’d returned to the bed with ears blazing pink and a determined look in his eye.

He let me kiss him until he was calm again, and then I spread him out beneath me and got to work relaxing him with soft touches and little nibbles along all his sensitive spots.

I hadn’t touched himthereyet—not where he was desperate for me. I was going to draw it out. I wouldn’t make him beg. I wasn’t going to make him work for it. But I wanted to take my time and allow him to feel every second of how good this could be.

Leaning in, I kissed the back of his neck as my fingers danced down his spine. I had the bottle of lube next to my free hand, and my cock was thick and heavy between my legs, but I didn’t need to touch myself.

Not tonight. This was for him.

“Oh. That feels…” Bean trailed off as my hand stopped just short of his ass. His hips shifted against the bed, and I knew he was rubbing himself on the sheets. My desire flowed white-hot through my veins. “Jarek,” he whispered.

I kissed between his shoulder blades as I picked up the bottle of lube and squirted a generous amount on my fingers. Trailing them between his cheeks, I swirled a touch around his hole, which clenched tightly.

“Breathe,” I told him.

“I—I’m trying.” His ribs expanded, then deflated slowly. “I’m nervous.”

I kissed his ribs. “I know, but I promise I won’t hurt you.”

“I don’t think I’m afraid of that.” I waited as he sat with his silence. Sometimes, he needed time to work out his thoughts, and for as long as I was allowed in his life, I would be patientwith him. “I’m afraid it’ll feel good. Too good,” he clarified before I could ask.

I pressed my fingers harder against him without pushing inside, and I rested my cheek against his back. “Why does that scare you?”

“I know it doesn’t make sense. I just…” He trailed off.

I was pretty sure I understood. I didn’t know if he believed in God anymore. I knew he’d walked away from the hateful, ugly side of religion, but I also knew the scars it left behind. And I knew he was probably still struggling to believe—deep down—that he wouldn’t go to hell for this.

I wished I could make it all go away.

“Do you want me to stop?”

“No,” he said firmly. He lifted up and looked over his shoulder at me. “No. Please don’t stop.” I leaned over and kissed his lips, then urged him back down before I pressed one finger inside, slipping in before he could brace himself. He released a short, heavy “Uhf” and tightened around me. His hips began to move again, rolling circles against the sheets as I pressed in deeper.

I wouldn’t hit his prostate yet. I wanted him to get used to all of this first.

“It’s…different. Full,” he muttered.

I smiled. “Yeah. Kind of like you need to take a shit.”

“I wasn’t going to say that, but…um…yeah.”

“It’s normal. Just relax. It gets so much better.” I added a little more lube, then kissed the globe of his ass as I added a second finger and spread them. His breath left his lungs in a rush, and that’s when I went for it. It took me a second to find the angle, but the moment I did, he unleashed a torrent of wordless noise against the bed.

“Oh, oh,” he gasped when he seemed to form a coherent thought. “Jarek,please.”

I hit him there again. Then again. He clenched and released around me like he was trying to draw my fingers in deeper. His breath came in short pants, and he rutted hard against the mattress with each pass of my fingertips.

“Oh my giddy aunt!”

I laughed without meaning to. “Where did you get that one?”

“M-my old therapist. S-she was…she…oh my…she was English.”

I kissed his hip as I began to pound his prostate, relentless and unforgiving. His whole body was trembling with need, but before he could come, I pulled out, and he immediately lifted his head, staring at me as though I’d betrayed him.

“Why!”