Page 4 of Fate

It wasn’t a farewell. Not really. She just needed to get settled, that was all. Her brothers that had mated were often home—although they had the need of their father’s workshop, so the visits were rarely strictly for want of the company.

A cart was hired, and the new bond-mates were gone, and as she nursed another cup of tea in her mother’s kitchen, she allowed herself to simply... feel.

She said nothing. Made no complaint. Mama had heard it all before.

But her mother still reached for her hand and squeezed it tightly for just a moment as she sat beside her. “It’s all right,” Mama assured her.

Firen frowned into her cup. “Which part?” she asked. And she wasn’t sulky. She was just... distraught. That was all. Whichwas understandable. She could be pleased for Eris and upset all at once. She was clearly capable of it.

“Wishing it was you.”

Firen’s eyes widened. “I didn’t...” she began, then hesitated. She wouldn’t lie to her mother. Not for anything. “I didn’t say that,” she amended.

“No,” she agreed. “But you’re unhappy. And I am sorry for it.”

She leaned nearer so she could put her arm about Firen’s shoulders. “You used to have such enthusiasm at every fete. It saddens me. To see you so frustrated.”

Firen suppressed a snort, but barely. If Mama was troubled, how did she imagine Firen felt?

She took a breath. Tapped her fingers lightly across the side of her cup, just once. “I hope I didn’t taint anything. For Eris. I don’t mean to be so discouraged.” She hadn’t always had such difficulties. When the house was full of siblings, when everything was new and exciting as she danced and mingled and approached each unfamiliar face with a catch in her heart, that he might be meant for her.

Then her friends found their pairings. Her brothers too. Now Eris...

“There is nothing you could have done to diminish this day,” Mama assured her. “But Firen,” she continued, her eyes tightening about the edges. Her mouth forming a firm line, if only briefly. “What do you intend to do?”

Firen’s brow furrowed. “Do?” As if... as if she had not been doing enough. Prayed hard enough. Bargained and cajoled and gave every sort of promise she could if she could only find him.

And more seasons would pass.

And she was still alone.

Mama wasn’t looking at her. Smoothed her hand along the table in search of crumbs that were not there. “There are other fetes,” she answered slowly. “You know this.”

Of course she did. All over the city—some at each solstice, others with each moon. Every district was unique.

And it was usually the men that travelled between them. It was not... disallowed for women to do so as well. But it seemed rather inefficient if everyone went hither and thither with no sort of order?

“Yes, but...”

Mama stood and poured them both fresh cups. “You’ve been trying it one way for a rather long time now, sweetling.”

A lump settled in her throat.

“I know that.”

“I’ll not push,” Mama continued. “Your father and I will never tire of your company.” She turned, blinking slowly, her head tilting slightly to the side. “You know that, don’t you?”

The lump grew bigger. “Yes.”

Mama nodded. “Good. Well. Then I think you have some inquiries to make next market, don’t you think? I’ll come with you, if you’d like.”

Firen’s eyes widened, and it wasn’t horror—itwasn’t, but it wasn’t welcome either.

Mama only laughed at her. “Not inside. Goodness, what do you take me for? But it might be in a new area, and I’d hate for you to get lost.”

Firen swallowed, her thoughts racing along with her heart as she considered it. “It’s not... inappropriate, is it? Or...” She swallowed thickly as she looked down at her cup. “Desperate?”

She wasn’t. Desperate, that is. She was just... anxious.