Page 84 of Fate
“Do all these people really work here?” she asked finally, when names began to blur and she thought it hopeless she’d remember them all. It grew more exciting when they passed the large doors that made up one of theseveralaudience chambers.The archways were well ornamented, with shells and driftwoods, and even what presumably made up a tangle of seaweed. Maybe how it was beneath the surf, because she was far more used to it washing up in giant briny clumps of bright red and burnt orange.
“No,” Lucian answered, looking absently toward her map. She waited for him to expound—to give some explanation as to where they might have gone or why their positions had not been filled. But he didn’t.
One of the large doors opened and she caught a glimpse inside. All too brief, and just enough to make her wish she could sneak inside and look her fill. There were people seated. More than she’d expected. Whether they worked in the Hall or were there on important business, she couldn’t tell, but she paused, hoping it would open again.
A man had exited, and he nodded toward Lucian once before he went on his way.
“Come along,” Lucian urged, taking her by the elbow and leading her away. She peeked at her map again. Registrar. An entire office just for that. Did that include receiving a permit for a market stall? Or was the position solely for managing the workers of the Hall?
Her list was growing too long for one night of questions. Better to make it a week’s worth. So as not to overwhelm him.
“Did you mean it?” he asked as they passed through the outer doors. Which is not the way she would have thought to go, as the map made it appear as if the office was connected on the inside, but she would trust Lucian’s judgement.
For now. Although shewasthe one with the map.
He had only his years of knowledge that evidently had not included a trip to this very person.
“Did I mean what?” she asked, following with her finger as they followed the row of buildings butting up to the half-tower that made up the Hall itself.
“That you would miss me,” Lucian answered stiffly. “When I was working.”
Her steps wavered, and she drifted her attention from her map so she could look at him, her brow furrowed. “You know I do. That’s why we had to have that talk about tugging at the bond.Yousaid it was unnecessary and distracting.”
He shifted, not quite looking at her. “I maintain that both are true. Most particularly because you were doing it because you thought I would not come back.”
She ducked her head, rubbing her finger against old parchment before she rolled her shoulders. It was accurate enough, although she did not like it spoke of so plainly. “So,” he pressed. “Was it true?”
It seemed such a silly thing to need to hear. So blatantly obvious that she might have thought he was teasing her if his eyes were not so earnest in the way they tried ferventlynotto look at her.
She took a step closer to him and grasped his arm with her free one. “I miss you when you are gone,” she declared, as sincerely as she was able. “And I always want you to come back to me.”
Something calmed. Something that had been raw and ragged between them, although she hadn’t realised it until that moment.
A doubt he’d carried. Worried over. That she hadn’t really wanted him.
Which... was absurd.
Except when it wasn’t.
Because she’d thought it, hadn’t she? When the regrets had gone so deep that it had burned through her. Made her think things... feel things...
That shamed her now.
“All right,” Lucian answered, and she huffed out a laugh.
“You will not say it back? That you long to be back with me when you have to go away? That there’s nowhere else you’d rather be?” She did nudge at him, because she was his mate and she could touch him even if there was a chance someone would stop long enough to pay attention to them.
He quirked a brow at her, but his eyes were soft, even his expression was hard. “Do you need me to?”
She shook her head, exasperated with him, but it was only in play. “No. But maybe I’d like you to. Keep things fair.”
She made to move on, her attention back on her map. They really should have kept to the interior, because this meant they’d have to...
His arm crept about her middle, pulling her back against him as he leaned close so his lips were at her ear. “I long to be back with you when we are parted,” he breathed out, so gently she might have missed it if the words had not been her own. “There is nowhere I would rather be. No one I would rather be with.”
He did not even kiss her. Did not press his lips to her cheek, her temple, her neck, and yet she felt her skin tingle as if he had. It was not fair to say such things when it would be less than appropriate for her to turn about in his hold and kiss himuntil she was breathless. If she was keeping a list of questions for when they were in private, he surely could keep a list of wonderfully romantic encouragements that he could offer one by one. Until she was warm all over and wanted him. Needed him.
“You think you can talk to me that way and not take me home after?” She gripped her map and warred with herself, wanting nothing more than to tuck it away and be with him, which was... a thoroughly distracting development. They had things to do. And it was quite unfair of him to get her all bothered.