Page 25 of Missing Pieces
“Well it was our dog but because he worked all the time I pretty much said he was mine. I took care of him, he was my best friend.” I sigh. “I realize that more now than I did before.”
“What was his name?”
“Edgar Allen Poe. Called him Poe for short.”
Easton laughs. “You named your dog after the guy who wrote The Raven?”
“Hey, I really love books and Poe was always my favorite growing up,” I argue.
“It’s cute,” he says. He turns his face back up to the sky. “Your ex-husband sounds like a real dick.”
I grunt. “Tell me about it.”
We spend the next few hours drinking more beers and laughing. We talk about everything from football to baseball, music to hobbies. We leave the heavy stuff out and try to be normal for one night.
I look at my watch a see that it is almost midnight. I stand up and yawn not realizing how tired I am. “I really should get to bed. Work in the morning.”
Easton follows me inside, helping me carry the beer bottles to the trash. I turn around and he’s right in front of me. I can feel his body heat radiating off him. I look up into his eyes and they look as if they are in turmoil, unable to make a decision. It must be all the alcohol we drank that gives me the courage to touch him. I run a finger up the side of his arm, tracing the tattoo on his bicep. His breath shortens and so does mine. My heart rate speeds up and I am sure he can hear how loud it is beating. He wraps an arm around my waist pulling me close to him, our bodies flush. I look up into his eyes and find they are burning with desire. He smells like oil and sandalwood. I place my hands on his chest, slowly moving them up to his shoulders. His face tenses and he is suddenly two feet away from me.
“I have to go,” he says, running his hand through his hair, which I’ve noticed he does whenever he gets nervous.
“Do you want a ride?” I ask confused.
“Nah. I’ll walk.” He turns and grabs his cowboy hat from the entry table and rushes out the door.
I sit on the bed in my bedroom staring at my closet. I feel so empty at times. And after he left so abruptly the sinking feeling starts to set in again. I am so confused about what happened. And I don’t know if I am more confused over him or myself. We had a great time. It wasn’t awkward. It felt like he was someone who understood what was really going on in my life and vice versa. His cold shoulder really threw me for a loop.
On the other hand, I don’t know why I should even care. What would have happened if I let him kiss me in the kitchen? I don’t need a man in my life right now. I need to learn what it’s like to be independent again. It’s been years since I felt like I could make my own decisions. Or make decisions where I didn’t have to worry about what other people thought. I did not need a man complicating my life even more than it already was. Even if he was a sexy cowboy who understood me. I need space and time. I need to be me again. I need to mend the pieces of my broken heart back together.
I lay down in bed and pull the covers up, once again thinking about Poe and how badly I wished he was here right now to cuddle with me and make me feel like everything was going to be alright again.