Page 87 of Missing Pieces

He uses his shirt to wrap around my hand to stop the blood flow. “I’m trying to fix this,” he pauses. “Fix us.”

“There is no us. You threw that away a long time ago.” I wince as he wraps my hand, but I am not so sure I’m not wincing at the harshness of my own words.

He stops what he is doing, forcing me to look him in the eyes. “That was the biggest mistake of my life, Harper.”

Despite the sincerity I hear in his voice, I don’t want to deal with him. “No, you can’t say—”

“Just let me talk.”

“It’s really hard to pay attention to you when you don’t have a shirt on,” I glare at him.

“You think it’s easy for me? You look beautiful Harper.” He grabs my waist and pulls me closer to him. “You were always beautiful but in this dress you…” He stutters as he looks for words, his hand moving to caress my cheek. “I just don’t know how another man hasn’t tried to win you over. You shine like the stars on that first night we spent looking at them. Somehow you’ve gotten more beautiful in these few weeks apart and I want nothing more than to kiss you right now.”

I look away because I almost want to forget all of this and feel his lips against mine again. This is too hard, and tonight was supposed to be easy. I was supposed to dance and mingle and ring in the new year with a plan to start fresh. But if this is how the night is going to go, then I should just ask the hard questions, the ones I am not sure I even want the answers to. “Are you with her?”

Both his palms cup my cheeks as he once again forces me to look him in the eyes. “I haven’t been with her in over five years, Harper.”

My eyes close and tears fall down my cheeks. “Then why did you leave me to go to her?”

He sighs and steps away from me. The loss of his body heat sends mine into shock as coldness creeps over my shoulders. I watch as he runs his hands through his hair and paces. Whatever his answer is it can’t be good. And what could have possibly happened that made him find me out here if he is so nervous now. I watch him with fear as he begins to talk.

“Ashton is sick. Was sick. She had been sick for a while, but I had sworn to her I would not tell a soul. And that was my first mistake with you. I should have told you from the beginning what was going on with her.” I try to speak, but he won’t let me. “The night I left, I wanted to wake you up and tell you what I was doing. But then I knew you would question other times I left. I didn’t want you to think I had been cheating or going behind your back like your ex. In hindsight, I realize that is exactly what I ended up doing by not telling you when I left that night.”

He takes a deep breath and I wait for him to continue. “I woke up to my phone ringing. I was glad you didn’t hear it because I knew how tired you were feeling that day. It was Ashton’s husband and he told me she collapsed. She got on the phone and begged me to come see her. She had leukemia. She was diagnosed less than a year ago, stage three. We used to be best friends. And I couldn’t watch my best friend die like that. I was so angry when I found out. I refused to see her. The first time I went was after we met. You opened my heart up. You had been through so much and you were still fighting. I looked up to your courage, Harper. You allowed me to face my demons that were dragging me down.”

I stare at him. Overwhelmed by everything. But the anger is still there simmering in my veins. He pauses, searching for words that I hope won’t tear me down. “That night I was scared, and I was afraid if I told you the truth you would leave. I felt like we had finally found our way and then this happened and I didn’t want to ruin it. So, I omitted information in the note.”

“You lied,” I deadpan.

“You’re right it was a lie. But I had to go see her. It was what she wanted. I needed to say goodbye to her. She died two weeks later. Complications from pneumonia due to the cancer.”

I sigh and gather my thoughts. I feel bad for him, I honestly do. But he could have called me at some point and explained, especially after I left him a hundred voicemails after Raelynn showed up. “You didn’t think to call me?”

“Harper, I tried calling you for weeks.”

“After the fact,” I snort.

“Yes, I should have called you when you left those messages, but I knew you had already left. I knew it was going to be near impossible to get you back. I was lost. I was confused. Hell, I drank alone in my hotel room more than I spent time with Ashton in those last few days of her life. When Raelynn called me to tell me about you leaving, I nearly lost it. I was a mess. I couldn’t breathe, Harper. You meant everything to me and I lost you because I was too scared to tell you the truth. Trace had to find me and smack some sense into me. He made sure I was there to say goodbye to Ashton. He forced me to dial your number, over and over. My whole world fell apart. And now I’m scared again. I am scared I’m too late to win you back. Too late to tell you I could barely breathe these last weeks without you around. Not hearing your laugh, watching you break things, seeing your smile, waking up next to the one thing that made me feel like a whole person again. I’m in pieces, Harper. Millions of pieces and every day we are apart I break into smaller ones. You were the missing piece to my puzzle, the part that made me whole again. And now I need that part back because I don’t think I can last another day without you in my life.”

He falls to his knees and cries. And I feel like a bitch. I’m being selfish. How can I be pissed at a man who tried to call me and fix this, and I kept pushing him away? Ivy told me I was being stupid, and I was. Easton is right, I did what I thought was best, the one thing I am good at doing, running. But I don’t want to run anymore. Because despite all the pain these last few weeks have brought me, these last minutes with him have made me feel again. Feel real feelings like love, heartbreak, and anger. As much as I don’t want to admit I need him, I do because he is the missing piece to my heart too.

I step closer to him and rest my hands on his head. “I’m sorry, East. I am sorry for giving you the cold shoulder. I am sorry for doubting everything about us. I don’t want to run anymore.” He looks up at me with hope in his eyes, but I can still see the doubt casting a shadow. “I forgive you. I should have answered my damn phone. I should have stayed. I’m so sorry. I forgive you if you’ll forgive me.”

He grasps the back of my thighs and pulls me closer to him. “It was never your fault Harper.” As he pulls me into him, I realize his head is dangerously close to my stomach and I forgot I have a rather large secret to tell him. But I don’t know how to do it. Do I just say, ‘oh hey now that we seem to be on the same page and all I think you should know that I’m pregnant with your kid.’

But I don’t have time to say anything because as he pulls us together and he rests his cheek against my stomach, he freezes. Shit. “Umm babe, I don’t know how—ughh are you—”

“I’m pregnant.” I barely whisper. He falls away from me and nearly crawls backward. My face contorts into dread and I use my hands to cover it, embarrassed by his obvious response of rejection.

“I—ugh, I’m too late then?” he asks with sadness attached to his words.

I look at him in question and then it hits me. He doesn’t think it’s his. I start to laugh uncontrollably and grasp the handrail to keep from falling over.

“What’s so funny?” A look of horror transcends his face.

I manage to recover, walk toward him, and grab his hand placing it over baby Tennessee.

His eyes alight with surprise and delight. “You mean, it’s mine?”

“Of course, you idiot.” Before I can say anything else, his arms are wrapped around me and his lips are on mine. I surrender to his kiss and thread my hands through his hair, pulling him tighter against me.

He pulls away by an inch, our lips still touching, our breaths still being shared. “We’re gonna have a baby?”

I barely nod before his lips are back on mine, his tongue seeking mine as I give into this delicious dance I have missed so much.

The sound of people breaks us apart, barely, as I realize that everyone has come outside to countdown to midnight. The stars sparkle above us as we count down from ten in unison. As we all scream Happy New Year, Easton pulls me tightly against him and whispers, “I love you, Harper Evans, and I think this year will be far better than the last.” I laugh into his lips as I seal our fate with a kiss.