Page 67 of Broken Pieces

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Brooks

I hate that Rae went out with Tacoma again today. The last four days they have spent attached at the hip.

It’s also rained every day since Rae’s birthday. I barely get a few hours of work in in the morning before the skies open. All wasted time I could be spending wrapped up in sheets with Rae.

But every day her and Tacoma go out and find something to do when she is done working.

At least she always finds me in my bed at night.

I passed out early last night, tired after Mac and I met up for drinks and spent hours talking about government conspiracies. But I was woken up to the sweet smell of sugar and lilac. Her warm body pressed into me and she threw her leg over mine. I could smell whiskey on her breath and knew she had been out drinking somewhere. But her hands were feisty as they roamed my body and pushed my shorts down.

Her mouth followed and it didn’t take long before I flipped her over and was pounding into her from behind.

She loved every second of it.

I could tell by the short gasps escaping that pretty mouth and the way she moaned my name as she met me thrust for thrust.

It was rough.

And dirty.

But I needed to make sure she still felt something from me. I knew I was getting in deep. But that kind of sex didn’t make me feel like I needed to be closer to her.

It was just raw, all-consuming need.

It was what we both needed.

I head to the barn and climb upstairs to the loft. Brett and I spent a few months in the spring fixing it up and turning it into a gym.

It’s easy for me to keep up my physique. But it’s an even better place for me to help push the demons out of my mind.

And it seems like they flood my brain more often since Rae and I started fucking.

If I am honest with myself, they’ve been more frequent since I’ve been battling the feelings for her that are brewing deep inside of me. An unwanted storm that I need to steer clear of.

I start with my arms, lifting weights until they give out. Then I move on to my back, every lat pull-down driving the demons away. When I get to my legs, every deadlift drives thoughts of Rae from my mind.

I swore after I lost Leigh that I wouldn’t let my heart be tainted by anyone again. Not just because I loved Leigh but because deep down, I knew our relationship was toxic. We both drove each other to the edge of sanity. Encouraged our demons to take over, plunge deeper into the depths of drugs and alcohol. We weren’t good for each other most days. But the good days always seemed to make up for the bad. The days where she was manic enough to show how much she loved me, the days we were high enough not to care about the troubles in the world around us.

And maybe that was why I was fighting these feelings for Rae. She had been through as much shit as me, if not more. Maybe I was attracted to the brokenness in her that I felt in me. But I am smart enough to know that a handful of broken pieces put together don’t make something whole again.

My mind puts me on edge. This work out is not clearing my mind. It’s clouding it over like a summer storm, striking fast and hard before you have time to prepare.

I move to the punching bag. I rarely ever use it, but this squall needs a release. I don’t even bother to tape my knuckles or put on gloves. I go fast and hard at the bag just like the summer storm crashing around in my mind.

I don’t know how long I’ve been hitting the bag or how long she has been standing there. But I finally notice.

Rae is standing next to the stairs in the loft, her eyes fixated on my hands.

I don’t even realize I’ve stopped hitting the bag until Rae stands in front of me.

“Summer told me that you come up here after work,” she says softly.

I can see that there is something wrong. She looks defeated. Unlike the ray of sunshine she has been around her sister.

I want to feel something, find out what is making her hurt, but I need to fight the feelings as much as I can.