Page 18 of Parallel
I don’t, but I can’t entirely say why that’s the case. I just sense trouble. There’s something dark inside me, something I buried so deep I can mostly forget it’s there. But it’s been whispering to me again of late, ever since I started remembering Nick. And the terror of hearing it far exceeds the pull of wanting somethingmore.
Not that I can say any of this to her. There’s a limit to the amount of crazy you can share in one day, even with your bestfriend.
“Because I already have exactly what I want. If this is my subconscious, I need a doctor who can make her shutup.”
Caroline glances at me. “Or maybe one who can tell you why you’d choose to be less happy than you couldbe.”
“You’re saying I need ashrink?”
She comes to my end of the bed and wraps an arm around me. “Maybe. Or we just wait and see if Trevor has a better plan,” she says with a grin. “Warning: it may involveprostitutes.”
There are still tears in my eyes, but I manage to laugh. “In that case, let’s keep this betweenourselves.”
* * *
Caroline heads out to work,actually looking forward to her day. There are many times I envy her, and this is one of them. She’s at a point in her career where she is mostly calling the shots. If she wants to leave in the middle of the day, she leaves. If she wants to jet off on a safari with an Australian rugby player she met at a bar, she just takes off. It makes me think, once again, of returning to school. But as Jeff always reminds me, the money would be astronomical. It would take me five years, if not longer, before I had the education I need to start making money again, and all the while we’d be relying onJeff’sincome, which can’t exactly be relied upon. He argues that it’s impractical, and what can I really say in my defense? He’s absolutelyright.
A nurse walks in moments after Caroline has left. “How are you feeling today?” she asks. “I have the breakfast menu if you’d like toorder.”
“No thanks,” I reply. I still can’t eat. Until I see who Nick is, I won’t be able to hold down a single bite. “Will I…be talking to the doctortoday?”
She nods. “Yes, the attendings are meeting with the residents right now, but one of them will be inlater.”
One of them.So even if Nick is here, it might not be him Isee.
She mistakes my expression for impatience. “It looks like your friend brought you some stuff if you want to clean up. That way you’ll be ready to leave as soon as possibletoday.”
I grab the bag Caroline brought and hop into the shower. When I emerge, I’m clean and dressed in far nicer clothes than any I actually own—designer jeans, a James Perse T-shirt that hugs my curves like it was made for me. Yes, it would be nice to live like Caroline once in awhile.
I shove yesterday’s dirty clothes into the bag and have just finished tidying up when there’s a knock on thedoor.
Then Nick,myNick, walks into theroom.
8
NICK
I’ve thought about nothing but Quinn all morning. I guess I just forgot she might not be quite as ready for our meeting as I am. She sees me and those stormy green-gray eyes open wide, her whole body swaying toward the wall like a tree in high winds. I lunge forward to catch her, and find I am standing far too close, my hands on her arms. But there’s a part of me right now that doesn’t care. It’s not about her looks, though God knows her looks alone would be enough. This is so much more than that. Something about her just compels me to move closer.She smells exactly like I remember, I think, before I correct myself.You can’t possibly remember what she smells like. You just met her yesterday for Christ’ssake.
“I’m okay,” she says weakly, eyes focused on mychest.
She lets me lead her to the bed, but perches on its edge, a captive preparing for escape. “This cannot be happening,” she whispers. She sounds near tears. “You’re real. I just…I don’t know how this ispossible.”
There isn’t a hint of guile on her face, so I dismiss Jace’s theory that she’s fucking with me somehow. But I don’t really have a theory to take its place. “I’m trying to make sense of this too,” I explain. “We must have metbefore.”
She stares at me. Her mouth is like a peony just before it bursts open, full and round. I want to press my thumb to its center. “I really don’t think that’spossible.”
“You’ve somehow managed to learn a lot about me,” I say quietly. “There has to be an explanation for it. When I checked in on you last night, you knew that I swim. You knew where I did myresidency.”
Her hand shakes as she pushes the hair back from her face. “That barely scratches the surface of what I know.” There’s something grave in her voice. An unnervingcertainty.
“What do youmean?”
She looks at me for a long moment, searching for something she doesn’t seem to find. “You like bananas but won’t eat anything banana-flavored,” she finally says when I remain silent. “You gave up your shot at the Olympics to go to med school, but every morning you still swim because it clears your head. You had a flat in Marylebone during your residency. On HarleyStreet.”
I blink. “How—”
“Your favorite bar in London was the Golden Eagle. We were broke, but on special occasions you’d order a single malt scotch. You wanted to be a cardiologist because your dad has this heart problem, and it always bothered you that no one could fix it completely. But now you’re a neurologist, which makes no sense. I was the only person you ever knew who even needed aneurologist.”